Aquarius
by pseudowritergirl
Summary: AU versions to the episodes with JJ/Emily femslash. How their family life and marriage fit around the cases mostly, Henry is theirs. Follows Belief and Motherhood, all updates will be put on here as added chapters. Thanks!
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer - I don't own anything, and no profit gained.

Thanks - To all that read and gave feedback on the last one that encouraged the continuation of this slightly AU context of Emily and JJ's relationship and family life with Henry. There will be more to come, but I think from now on I'll be adding the next episode parts as chapters onto this rather than creating their own categories. Thanks again.

JJ sat silently, starring out of the window into the dark of the street outside. The rain pattered the windows, bounced off the hard surface of the road and the parked cars. It had been raining for so long, a testament to exactly how this last case had gone. How she had been locked into it, conflicted and confused.

She was good at what she did. She believed in what she did. But everything that had transpired had shaken that belief in herself. Rossi's words, not meaning to accuse her of not believing in her team, but had come across like that anyway had shaken her. At the start she had known who she was and what she was capable of. And then she had turned into a Mother.

What if she couldn't do this anymore? What if every time she saw a parent in distress it would take away her judgment and her professionalism? What if everything her parents had ever told her, her whole town, came true? That she would ultimately come up to nothing and only had her head in the stars. Should she have listened to them? Never gone to college, never gone to grad school or joined the FBI? It was only at this point right now that she had ever doubted herself in such a way. She'd had bad times before but they were nothing compared to this.

She had made a mistake. She had thought she could handle it, handle these cases just like she had before. But before was different. Before there had only been her. And when she had met Emily it was okay because Emily knew what it was like too. But now? Now she had Henry. The dear precious little boy that slept soundly in her arms, wrapped up warmly in a land of perfection that his dreams created.

Her eyes dropped from the rain and onto him. He was so tiny and unaware and when she had looked into that woman's eyes, Sandra Lombardini, she had only been able to see her son. So she had done something she never thought she would do. Which was to go against the assessment of her team, her superior. She had trusted in a man even knowing his conviction record because she had been acting as a Mother for another Mother, with those words haunting her mind.

I need my baby to be alive.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

''Agent Jareau?''

JJ blinked, hesitating in her movement to stand up, as she listened the voice on the other end of the line. The deeply anxious Detective Fullwood from Washington, who was leading the case she was about to present to the team. During the morning she had already received new information, as well as the information that Jordan had taken over the weekend and had detailed thoroughly for her arrival back to work. It was the most urgent case, and JJ agreed with Jordan's prioritizing of it.

''Yes Sir, as I told your partner I'm SSA Jennifer Jareau, I have your case in my hands as we speak and I'm about to present it to my team. Agent Todd, who I believe you spoke with over the weekend, has detailed everything thoroughly and I can say with certainty that we will be joining you there in a matter of hours. Yes Sir. I completely understand, I will call you personally to let you know what time we'll be arriving and if there's any problems you have my cell phone number. No problem, bye.''

JJ had only been back at work for a little over 2 hours, and things were already and unsurprisingly fast paced. She had already gone through the file that Jordan had prepared for her meticulously, added all the new information and combed through any of the details she could squeeze more helpful information out of, and spoken to one of the Detective's on the case this morning. He had warned her that Detective Fullwood would want to contact her personally anyway when he returned to the office, and she understood why. JJ was great at math but even she couldn't count up just how many Detectives' and other such law enforcement officials just simply wanted to be listened to by the time they reached her line. They were usually desperate and anxious, just like this Detective was, and always with good reason. She could understand why they fretted when dealing with these extraordinary cases. One of his concerns had been the crossover between Jordan and herself, obviously having not realising that it was going to happen and that this was her job.

She was actually a little grateful that things were going along rapidly because it had given her no time to fret too much over leaving Henry with the nanny she and Emily had been phasing in for the last few weeks. Separation anxiety was not an easy thing to deal with, she had realised. It sat at the bottom of her stomach like hot thick tar, making her feel nauseous and heavy. Logically, JJ knew Henry was fine and that he was going to continue to be fine. The nanny they had chosen, Annette, was very experienced and completely flexible around their jobs and they had even arranged for a part time nanny to come in and help her so she wasn't expected to look after the baby all day everyday. But Henry was her baby and it was hard to leave him all the same, she could still feel him inside her and it was possibly the hardest thing she'd ever needed to do. And JJ knew Emily was feeling a little of the same thing. The brunette had already been through it, having to leave them both to go back to work, and JJ cringed at the foul mood she was probably in at having to do it a second time because to Emily it was like a second time. This time she knew there was no JJ staying there with Henry, so it was the first time he'd be alone with Annette ever.

''C'mon Jay, you can do this.''

JJ encouraged herself, clearing her throat and clutching the file. She picked up her phone, determined to get going and just throw herself into this as usual. She hadn't seen the others much yet, but she was already glad to be back. However odd that sounded, no one should have been glad to be back chasing serial killers, but she was. She had missed her team, her friends, and she was ready to be here and getting down to some work again because she knew how important it was. Someone else's babies were being killed out there, and she wanted to do her part to stop it.

So, gathering herself up, one ready for work Jennifer Jareau walked out of her office, up the hallway and into the BAU bullpen just in time to hear Emily's sarcastic reply toward someone. JJ presumed it was Garcia; given that it was her that Emily was giving a 'simple gesture' toward. Oh yeah, her wife was definitely in a foul mood. It probably didn't help that Garcia had the paper out in front of her, turned to the horoscopes. Of course that would wind Emily up, she hated the horoscopes whereas Garcia was totally into them. JJ could see the withering scorn in Emily's outrageously dark eyes as she scowled, making Morgan chuckle and shake his head.

''Hey, you guys ready to gather?''

The blonde interrupted, clutching her files and offering all that turned toward her a light smile. It was like interrupting recess, even though it seemed more like they were bickering lightly than anything else. A sudden well of nerves popped up into her stomach for a second. She hadn't done this in quite a while and she was surprised that she was nervous. She knew how to do this, she was prepared, she had done it a hundred times and she was damn good at it. That's what she had to tell herself now.

''Well look at you Miss Thing, first day back and your all business!''

Morgan enthused smoothly, giving her an encouraging wink and an appreciative stare. Seemingly he approved of her hair, which she had spontaneously decided to cut during her trip out with Emily and Henry at the weekend. Amongst the baby clothes buying, and naturally shopping around for lots of different things much to Emily's pretend hatred, JJ had decided to pop into the hair salon place and luckily enough they'd had a spot free. She'd sent Emily off to amuse herself with Henry and let herself get a little pampered. She'd never expected Emily to meet her back in the food court with a present that she'd bought while she was having her hair done.

''Well it's either dive right in, or face my separation anxiety!''

She drawled, smiling but also very serious which she knew they knew. Garcia groaned, looking up at her friend sympathetically.

''It's tough being away from him, huh?''

''Yeah.''

JJ nodded, and Garcia gave her her well-known sad face, to which Emily scoffed.

''Hey! How come she gets the sympathy face and all I get is the lot of you riling me up?''

The brunette demanded, sulking a little petulantly but also shooting Garcia a guarded and icy glare. Her chilly mood was down to exactly what JJ was going through. Okay, so many JJ was going through it in a different way but still, it was hard on her to leave her son knowing JJ wasn't there with him too. This was their first time away from him together, and it sucked. That's why she had been like a bear with a sore head today, so she didn't understand why she was being ragged on so much.

''Oh, because you're special to me, peaches!''

Garcia cooed patronizingly, again receiving a glower for her efforts. Emily could be so easy to torture sometimes, and whether the brunette knew it or not, this was exactly what she needed to get through her own apprehension of leaving Henry at home with their nanny. Emily was more sensitive than she let on, Garcia knew that. And if she was left to dwell she would get more and more impatient and pissed off. And just like her sign said, despite her lack of belief in it, she could be prone to shocking bouts of rage, they had all seen it. Usually in work, but sometimes she snapped personally and Garcia intended today not to be one of those days. Emily was her friend and if riling her a little bit to let her get all the sting of leaving her son behind to work out then so be it. At least she'd be going into the case without it all building up inside of her.

''Whatever.''

Emily snickered, making Garcia roll her eyes and shake her head. She often wondered how Emily could have such an understanding of people, tap into their emotional needs like she had seen her do a million times, and yet not have the foggiest idea of her own emotional needs. The woman could peg herself so wrongly sometimes. Emily didn't think she was elegant, but she was. She didn't think she was natural with people, but she could be especially when it came to the people she cared about or for. She was fair and honest, she believed in justice and resent people, herself included, being treated unfairly. She was intelligent and creative, and that's why Garcia thought she was so good at her job. And although she wasn't one to like confrontation, when the need called for it she stepped up and did what she needed to do. Emily was a hard worker, and although she had and would always be extremely wealthy, she held no real interest in money. She didn't use it to get the things she wanted like some people could and did. That's why Garcia respected her so much. And she knew Emily tended to fail seeing herself how she really was, but it didn't matter, because JJ saw her, and having JJ beside her made Emily see more of herself and made her stronger.

''You're sexier when you're being dark and broody!''

Garcia flirted teasingly, effectively taking the sting out of Emily's glare as she did. She also made JJ snicker quietly from the side of her which made one blonde look up at the other and suddenly made her realise the new ring on her fingers.

''Oh shiny! This is new isn't it?''

She cooed appraisingly.

''Yeah, citrine, it's Henry's birthstone. Emily surprised me with one for us both over the weekend.''

JJ explained, glancing up at Emily with an affectionate smile and a deep sparkle in her eyes that only Emily could actually read. That's what Emily had been off doing when she'd been at the salon getting her new spontaneous look. There was a very similar ring sitting on Emily's right hand, which evidently the others hadn't noticed yet. JJ loved the notion of it, that they were not only bonded somehow to Henry but to each other. They had something to constantly remind them of him when they were away, something that they could both share too.

''Aww baby cakes that's _so_ romantic. Just like a typical Libra!''

Garcia was still teasing, but knew that Emily could really see that she meant it that she thought it was adorable. It made the perky blonde grin even wider that Emily blushed every so slightly and mumbled into her coffee cup as she also received a nudge from JJ.

''Are you finished with this?''

JJ enquired, pointing to the paper and receiving an incredulous look from Emily because of it. It only made her smirk; knowing how much Emily thought all this was gibberish. In all honesty, JJ didn't actually put much stock into the newspaper horoscopes but she still liked to read them as most did. She didn't dismiss the notion that they could be right, but she put far more stock into the people that really studied astrology in depth and really dug deep into it and didn't tend to generalize. She knew Emily reluctantly admitted, from time to time, that there must have been a little something to it, but it didn't stop her hatred for these types because they were silly and frivolous. Emily required a lot of proof for things; she needed something tangible most of the time, rather than running on faith. Which was odd, considering her faith in love and passion, as well as her faith in justice and fairness.

''Thank you!''

JJ grinned, walking away toward the briefing room, leaving Emily to shoot Garcia one last withering glare that only made the computer analyst grin before she followed her wife off in the same direction.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

JJ traced the outline of Henry's face. His skin was so soft and delicate. He was so at peace and content in her arms. She dreaded the thought of him growing up but looked forward to it at the same time. She took something from the fact that they had managed to find Brooke Lombardini alive, just barely. A handful of moments later and it would have been a different story. Absolutely no help from their 'psychic', however. It had startled JJ that she had actually gone to him, still didn't know what possessed her to do it, other than she wanted it to be true what he was saying. She wanted to give that hope back to that Mother after Rossi had taken it away from her.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

It was only a matter of hours before JJ found herself in the car with Rossi, driving over to Sandra Lombardini's house where they would be going over her statements and trying to find out anything else she might know.

JJ was already a little put out, she didn't know what else to call it. But Rossi's flippantness at the precinct had put her on edge, he didn't have kids, he didn't know what it was like. She didn't even know what it was like to have her child taken from her, but she knew that she would be willing to do damn well anything to get Henry back if it was them, and that kind of love and devotion shouldn't be belittled. If making a news appearance and consulting a 'psychic' was this woman's way of trying to help get her daughter back, then so be it, right? Yet again, she could also see why Rossi didn't want to think about dealing with a psychic too, in case it was someone who was just picking off this woman's pain and leading her on. But she'd rather take that chance than do nothing at all.

''You're pissed at me.''

JJ blinked, realising that she had floated off into space as she looked out of her window at the scenery going by, and turned to look at Rossi who was driving. He had a knowing expression, which wasn't offended, covering his face. JJ continued to look at him for a second before nodding.

''A little.''

''For saying the Mother has false hope?''

JJ sighed, her head turning again so she could stare out of the windshield for a moment. It was so much more complicated than that and she didn't even know how to begin putting it into words.

''You don't know what it is to be a woman, or a Mother, or a parent. Don't get me wrong; I know where you're coming from. Professionally, intellectually, I know where you're coming from and I even agree with you. And I know you have this Father/daughter thing with Emily, which by the way, I think is great for you both. But you have no idea, from the perspective of being a Mother, you have no idea. So saying she has false hope, yeah, its insulting. This woman is prepared to bleed herself dry to find her daughter, you shouldn't piss on that because you don't believe in the mystical, even if it might be a crock of crap.''

Rossi side glanced JJ for a moment, chewing over her words as she said them. She had him on a couple of points, he knew that. It wasn't his disbelief she was angry at per say, it was his dismissal of what this woman was prepared to do for her child. What in the same situation, JJ and even Emily would be willing to do. What any woman would be willing to do to get the life they created back home to safety. He wasn't a parent, that much was true, but he was glad that JJ recognized his Fatherly feelings toward Emily, because by now, he realised that he did see their relationship mostly as a paternal one for him. She was everything he'd want in a daughter, and seemingly, he was what she wanted in a Father.

''Point taken. If I made it seem like that was a useless thing, I'm sorry. And you're right; I don't know what I feel like. The nearest I've come to it is with Emily. My point was, I don't want this woman to be gutted a second time around, because its all so painful in the first place.''

He admitted, shrugging a little as he concentrated on the road.

''I know.''

He looked at her again, seeing the truth in her eyes as she turned to him again. Then, looking back at the road he took in a deep breath. There were plenty of thoughts running through his mind, about this case, about his words and about JJ. He knew Emily, part of her was still a mystery to him, but he knew her and he was glad she'd let him in. HE knew the only person who knew her better was JJ. And it was the blonde that he had never been able to work out properly.

JJ was motivated, she was remarkable intelligent, at first he had seen no real reason for her position within the team but even as soon as the first case he had retracted that thought. She organized everything, ran everything, and there were plenty of people willing to take her place. She never folded at the pressure, and that was amazing for someone so young. She was competent, human, compassionate and dedicated. She had endeavored to protect not only the people out there that she didn't even know, but her family also. She had killed a man to protect her family even. There was nothing unremarkable about this girl, even though she obviously thought there was nothing too remarkable about her. Just a small town girl doing her best in a big city and an important job.

''Why aren't you a profiler again?''

HE asked, even though he hadn't mean to, it had just been what had come out of his mouth but now that it had he found himself curious.

''Who says I'm not?''

She challenged lightly, but with enough seriousness to make him think about it. She cleared her throat and looked at him again.

''Look, there are a lot of things about my job that you don't know about. Things I'm prepared to deal with so it doesn't get in your way. Have you seen my office? Who do you think wades through that on a daily basis? There are 5 profilers on this team and 1 of me. I mostly work alone and I get it done. You don't need another profiler, you need me.''

She also had him there. Beneath the soft and easy going exterior, there was a strong and persevering interior. JJ was self assured about what she did, and he had to admit when she pointed it out, she did mostly work alone. She did a lot of things that was unknown to him and probably the rest of the team. Emily probably understood the full extent of her job, but possibly only because of their relationship.

''You know, I can wrap my head around that. I can get my head around Emily, and the others, for doing what they do. But you? You're a complete mystery to me.''

He admitted, side glancing her for a moment. She was still a mystery to him, and he had often found himself watching her sometimes, usually when she was interacting with others. Sometimes when she was working alone and concentrating as she meticulously went over the most minute details of cases with a scarily amount of dedication and precision. There was that elusive aura about her, it twinkled deep inside her eyes and something told him that she liked to be a mystery to people. That look emerged now the twinkle and the softest of smirks that was barely there but said volumes. Out of everyone she was the one people knew least about even though they were profilers.

''I'd get used to that if I were you.''

She answered softly but ultimately with a little edge in her voice that came out of that mysteriousness. It wasn't harsh or anything like that in fact it was almost a little teasing even a little exciting. It gave him a challenge and clearly JJ expected to win that challenge and she could possibly be right but he'd still mull over it anyway.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

''I love you baby boy. Don't forget that.''

JJ kissed her son softly still cradling him close before standing up from the chair and moving toward his crib. Gently she lowered him down and placed him inside making sure that he was comfortable and would keep warm. He sniffled and stirred a little bit but then grunted out a little yawn and fell back into the deep slumber again. JJ smiled touched by the simplest of things that gave her heart all the same. She watched him for a few second longer before stepping back from the crib and leaving the nursery.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

It felt like a whirlwind the few hours that followed that. JJ looked that Mother in the eyes and connected to her on a level she supposed she would have to get used to now. It was a new level even though she had always been able to connect with people particularly the families and victims. She'd experienced it when she was pregnant out in Las Vegas just before she had actually had Henry. Felt his presence growing inside of her even more as she watched a Mother struggle to get her baby boy back and it had been a real awakening for her. She had been doing this for a long while that was true and each case affected her and she had thought very seriously about having a child just like Emily had. She had thought about what she would be bringing a baby into with the world she lived in there was no way to get around it. She didn't think it would be perfect, but it had startled her all the same. And it seemed that her first caes back was going to push her just as hard.

''Baby, are you okay?''

JJ blinked visibaly shaking her head before looking up at Emily. They were in their hotel room and she sat on the end of the bed just starring at the floor lost in thought. Emily looked at her from across the room with concern written over her face and when JJ didn't or couldn't say anything the brunette moved to crouch in front of her.

''I knew it'd be different doing this and being a Mom. I guess I just didn't really _get _it until now.''

JJ spoke grimly making Emily sigh and nod. She knew exactly what JJ meant and her hand went up to brush through golden strands.

''I know. Unfortunately I don't have anything to say that makes it easier. Only that I'm right here.''

JJ smiled as she looked at Emily lovingly and thanked all of nature that she had gotten lucky enough to have Emily in her life.

''I love you so much.''

''I know. I love you too.''

Emily leant up to place a soft and lingering kiss on her wife's lips. She hated that she had to let JJ work through this by herself. She wished she could take it on for her but she couldn't. just like she'd had to work through it so did the blonde. It had always been hard anyway. Emily remembered times when she and JJ were dating or whenever just lying awake in the dark together harrowed by the things they had seen and the only thing that could be done was to just hold one another and remember that not everything was cruel and brutal. They would remember now like then that life could offer some pretty great things. They already knew that because of their relationship and now they had Henry too and that was pretty damn remarkable.

''Tell you what, how 'bout we call home before we get changed and grab something to eat? See what kind of circles Henry is running around Annette!''

''I think that's a great idea, thank you.''

''Always.''

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

She leant on the doorframe of their bedroom eyes just watching Emily's seemingly peaceful slumber. She was so angelic in sleep. JJ felt something inside of her tighten at watching the brunette like that. Emily was always there for her when she could be and now JJ had no idea what would happen if she ever lost that. She knew Emily had things inside that she still didn't know about, could see the hidden and guarded secrets in her eyes but that was okay. Everyone had those, even herself. It didn't interfere with the trust she had in the other woman.

JJ couldn't help but smirk just a little bit at Garcia's continued harassment of Emily over this case. Teasing her about romantic rendezvous and linking every action she made with traits of a Libra, Emily had been flooded with those texts the whole time. JJ knew it was Garcia's way of making sure that she had something else to focus on and it had worked well. Emily had managed to get her head down and work, although avoiding the element of this case that she herself had become hopelessly entangled with. JJ had had to laugh ever so lightly though as Emily had blushed something rotten on the plane ride back home, when Garcia had announced on webcam just how sexually compatable a Libra and an Aquarius were, which she just happened to be. Everyone looked at them as Garcia had continued to babble about sensuality an high sex drives, with adventurous and bold. Emily had told her to be quiet, but Garcia had kept right on spilling the beans about the zodiac combination, finally moving onto general relationship traits and marriage suitability. Then she had gone back to sex again, until she had made Emily admit that there might be something to the whole astrology thing.

Walking across to the bed, JJ knelt one knee onto it so she could lean forward and over Emily. Running a hand through her hair gently and enjoying the silky strands flowing through her fingers, JJ leant further forward and placed a kiss on Emily's forehead. The brunette breathed in deeply, shuffling around as she cleared her throat sleepily, inching toward the touch but too tired to open her eyes.

''Hmm…baby?''

JJ smirked again loving Emily when she was only in the limbo between sleep and wakefulness.

''I'm going into work, go back to sleep its still dark.''

Emily frowned.

''Why?''

''I just…there's something I have to do. I love you.''

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Yet again, as the case continued, JJ felt like she was swept up in a whirlwind. Not only caught in the grapple of balancing out her work life and what she saw with her Motherhood, but also now questioning things deep in herself. She was conflicted over what to make of this 'psychic', the one Rossi was adamant in dismissing. JJ had always thought 'never say never'. Always given credence to the idea of the mysticism, even though she took things like that with a grain of salt. Her life had been very much a real one, there had been little tiem for fantisies. However, she was an introspective person, had indulged many a time in thoughts around things like this and noted the feelings it stired. But in this work everything was hard fact. So what did she believe now? How did she balance this? One wrong step and things could go desperately wrong. A girl could die.

What JJ knew for sure was that it shouldn't have been in Rossi's right to take away the last hope that Sandra Lombardini had for finding her daughter alive. Her words rang over and over again in her head '_I need my baby to be alive'._ No one had the right to take that away from her. This was her family, not theirs. This was her life, she had raised this girl and not one of them should have been able to take away her hope at having all of that again. It was cruel and unusual.

What had happened to her in the bullpen of the station had been weird. One of the oddest encounters she had had in a while that was for sure. She couldn't work that out either. Did he really knew she'd had a baby from her ring? JJ was pretty sure she hadn't mentioned anything in front of him so there was no way he could know. There had only been Rossi there and he hadn't said anything either. The only other possibility that JJ could think of was the man had guessed from both the look in her eyes, and the weight that was still there. So he was either genuine or he was messing with her. But she was a Mother she needed to believe.

''Emily?''

There was a soft grunt from the lump next to her and a couple of seconds later that lump shifted as Emily turned over in bed and lifted up her head a little. JJ was stretched out on her back just staring up at the ceiling and listening to the rain outside.

''Do you think I'm crazy to want to believe in things like this man is saying he can do?''

Emily breathed in as she made her brain kick start again not wanting to tell JJ to just go to sleep. It was a serious question and she had been able to see that JJ was grappling with a lot of things.

''No, of course I don't.''

''Do you believe it?''

Again the brunette pulled in a breath as she blinked trying to get the sleep shaken away from her long enough to talk with her troubled wife.

''I…honestly don't know. I'm one for evidence, JJ, you know that. I guess you could say I'd like to believe. I'd like to think people are capable of being more than we are now. And I'm sure that there are energies that people are more accustomed to tapping into than others. But I deal with a very gritty, very real world. But I believe in you, so if you think that there's something to all of this, then I think there's gotta be.''

She mused trying to get the complicated mess of thoughts out of her head and into words. This was all a little out of her territory too and she didn't quite know where to place it so she continued running with the case facts and evidence as it came in. she used her established skills and trusted in them, trusted in her need for justice to prevail and trusted in her teams effort to save this girl. But every time she looked at JJ she could see the conflict of belief there, and she knew how that felt. Faith was a tricky, tricky thing and she definitely knew how fast it could slip through fingers or overtake your life.

''He knew about the baby, Em. He congratulated me.''

She departed quietly still unsettled by the whole thing. Emily's head shot up immediately as her eyebrows knitted together.

''When?''

''Earlier today, in the bullpen when he was called in.''

''Well what did he say exactly? Did he touch you?''

Emily squeaked somewhat disturbed by the thought of this guy doing anything to JJ.

''No of course not. He shook my hand.''

JJ turned slightly, looking up at her wife expectantly but Emily just looked at her blankly.

''He shook your hand?''

She restated slowly.

''Yeah. My right hand. Henry's ring? He shook my hand, sorta held onto it a couple of seconds, and then he turned and said congratulations, indicating the ring. He knew Emily.''

Emily looked off into the dark for a moment, frowning ever so softly as she remembered Mr Asher coming in with the Detective. She had seen JJ talking to him briefly, they had shaken hands. When JJ had come up to her, she had been playing with the ring and had been distracted, but said she was okay when Emily had asked.

''Honey, at the risk of sounding like Rossi here, he could have figured that out anyway.''

''How?''

''Well for one you have a wedding ring so he knows your married. Could've heard something about Henry. He could've even seen footage from our old cases when you were pregnant from online if he checked you out. You're connection with Sandra Lombardini is stronger than anyone elses aside from the Detectives.''

Emily cringed slightly hoping that she wasn't saying anything that would make JJ upset. She could tell Rossi had already done that. He was much blunter in his distaste for this guy and she actually wished he'd been a little more sensitive with the whole thing. She loved the guy but sometimes he was so oblivious and seemed to have forgotten that this was JJ's first case back. It's not that she couldn't handle it but it was worth remembering.

''You don't believe him either.''

''Baby, it's not that I don't want to. If this happened to us and someone came along to tell me that our son was alive I would want that. But he's a convicted felon JJ. I have trouble with all of this anyway but coming from a criminal? It's hard to swallow.''

JJ sighed deeply blinking in tiredness as she looked past Emily numbly. She had no idea what she was supposed to do or believe. Emily was right the guy wasn't squeaky clean. But people weren't perfect so did it really make a difference?

''I'm sorry.''

JJ looked back at Emily again and gave her a half hearted smile.

''Let's just get some sleep.''

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

They had had no leads. Nothing. Nowhere to turn and nowhere to look. And all she had been able to think about was those words, I need my baby to be alive. That's why she had done it. That's why she had taken that damn letter to that man. Why she had stood there, with a gun on her hip and a badge in her pocket, and given evidence to a supposed psychic. She hadn't even been able to watch him. She had stood looking out at the rain debating with herself whether this was the right thing to do or not.

He had given her somewhere to look and so she had. And she had found somewhere. A very possible somewhere that seemed even to the team like it could be the spot but directly conflicting with Rossi's assessment of the whole thing. Two different opinions from two different sources. Hers was the wrong choice.

In the end Hotch had mentioned to JJ that what Asher had told her had been on the wall right outside but it hadn't given her any comfort. If he had gone with her, believed in her, they would never have found Brooke alive and she couldn't afford to do anything like that again. She wasn't even sure if it was her instincts or not, it had just been something.

''You're in early.''

JJ turned quickly at the unexpected and familiar voice behind her having been so lost in thought that she had gone into autopilot pouring out the coffee that was there ready and waiting. She faltered slightly as she came face to face with Rossi and was a little disappointed because she had wanted more time alone before she faced him. Why the hell would she have chosen to leave her family at this time of morning in the pouring rain otherwise?

''Couldn't sleep.''

''I know how it can be coming back here. The bad things seem worse, you want easy answers.''

JJ ducked her head a little. He was right the bad things did seem worse. But getting easy answers? He thought what she had done was easy? Even as someone who didn't turn a blind eye to this sort of thing it had been far from easy and she had never once gone for an answer because it was the easiest. Still she knew what the point was. However badly he was constructing it.

''If you're gunna tell me not to believe in psychics you don't have to.''

She felt young in front of him, green even. Like she hadn't seen the things she had already seen. He had so much more experience and right now she felt like it was overshadowing her.

''You can believe in what you want. But when you're here you need to have faith in what we do. It works.''

''I just…I saw a Mother loosing her child and…we didn't have any other leads. I thought what harm could it do?''

''I asked the same question once.''

She gazed at him dubiously.

''You did?''

''It was a kidnapping case in Georgia. We had nothing, time was running out. And there was a local woman known for her…abilities. On her advice we took the investigation in the wrong direction. The boy died.''

''I'm sorry.''

''It was a long time ago.''

''Well we won this time. That's what matters right?''

Rossi smiled lightly.

''Welcome back.''

JJ took in a breath as she watched him walk away. Thinking where she stood for a moment she turned and left the BAU bullpen to walk down the hallway to her office. She sighed again as she scanned the files there before walking around her desk after flipping on the lights and sitting down. Sipping the coffee her eyes glanced at a picture of Emily and Henry and she smiled softly thinking about them sleeping soundly at home. She needed to do this though. She needed to let herself fall into work, needed to drown herself in the stacked up cases surrounding her. Needed to face them head on. So she did. Getting comfortable she took the first file and started to do what she knew she could do.

''Hey there.''

JJ blinked ripping her eyes away from the details she had been reading and was surprised to see Emily stood at her doorway. Her wife was leaning there and JJ somehow knew from the sparkle in Emily's eyes that she had been watching her. Her office was lighter with the light that poured in from the windows in the hallway and now she had been dragged back into reality she heard the bustle outside. Checking her watch she realised that she had been working in her office for coming up 4 hours.

''Hey. Sorry, I was completely zoned out there.''

She blinked some more trying to shake the cobwebs from her mind. Emily nodded lightly before gesturing with her head toward the two piles of files on JJ's desk. The one to her left seemed to be the 'to do' pile, the one on her right seemed to be the ones she had worked through.

''I see that. Finding us a new case in there?''

JJ sat back in her chair as she let out a breath.

''It's what I do, right?''

Emily tipped her head gently.

''JJ?''

JJ dropped her eyes momentarily.

''Do you think I should be out there with you guys?''

Emily frowned immediately, standing upright.

''Yes, I do. Why would I think otherwise?''

JJ hesitated.

''Jennifer. Talk to me.''

Stepping in now Emily closed the door and moved to sit down in front of the desk. JJ didn't look at her for a good few seconds, but when she did she saw the mass tangle of emotion and vulnerability. Vulnerability that was battling with the confidence that used to reside there.

''Rossi…he said I should have faith in what you guys to because it works. I dunno…I guess he was trying to make me feel better but it kinda made me feel worse when I thought about it. How could I be here if I didn't believe? Why would I work so damn hard every single day, doing things you guys have no idea about, taking calls at insane hours, doing everything you're all too blind to see that needs doing. No offense. But I shift heaven and earth for you guys and its really hard Emily, there's only me that does it. And he thinks that I go for easy answers and quick fixes? He thinks that I did what I did without thinking? I know I haven't been doing this as long but I'm good at my job and I have faith in it I do. And I've been in here for god knows how long doing my part of it like I have something to prove when I don't. I got here because I deserve to be here, and I may have a lot to learn but I hate people questioning my faith and loyalty to this damn team. And I'm kinda sick of being treated like some mascot that doesn't know anything.''

JJ panted as she stopped abruptly frowning a little bit as more came out than even she had expected. Things she hadn't even been thinking about but now had been said out loud she recognized. She looked over at Emily who was sitting patiently and letting her vent. She didn't seem mad she seemed kind of unsurprised and proud.

''Then go tell him that.''

She encouraged making JJ quirk an eyebrow.

''Go shout at the legend that is David Rossi?''

Emily shrugged and nodded.

''JJ he's not a god he's an arrogant ass that needs to be shouted at every now and then. What you just said is perfectly right. And yeah sure he probably was trying to make you feel better but he didn't he patronized you instead. If you want him to know everything you feel for this job and this team, go right on and tell him, you have the right and he needs to listen.''

JJ couldn't help but feel a little inspired and tempted. There was something about the idea of walking into Rossi's office and giving him a piece of her mind that she just couldn't resist. Smirking slightly she stood up and threw her pen onto the surface before walking around her desk. She stopped by Emily, reaching down and cupping her head with her hands to lift it up so she could place a heated kiss on her lips.

''I love you, thank you for believing in me. And you're so getting lucky tonight after that!''

Emily just laughed as JJ walked out of her office full of that confidence and determination that Emily saw so often there. JJ was definitely back in the saddle!


	2. Family

JJ breathed in leisurely enjoying the soft but warm wind that drifted in from the slightly ajar window at the far side of the bedroom. She was so comfortable in bed snuggled under the covers with the familiar body of her wife lying next to her. JJ smirked slightly as she rolled into Emily accidently shoving her a little as she did not having realised that she had been so close. She couldn't help but start to laugh as there came a little 'ooof' noise from the brunette.

''Huh…JJ?''

Emily muttered softly still sleepy and clueless. JJ tried to stifle her laughter as she stretched out on her back but for some reason it was so funny to her.

''Sorry…don't mind me. I'm sorry. Go back to sleep.''

Biting down on her lips, she listened to Emily mutter something before cuddling into her, draping an arm across her as she did. There was a moment of silence and JJ thought the laughter had passed her by. But then without warning she started to laugh again, lifting a hand up to put over her face as Emily propped herself up to look at her.

''What's so funny?''

She wondered lightly with a soft squeak of confusion. JJ just continued to laugh, the giddiness having overtaken her even though she wasn't sure why.

''Nothing! I don't even know why I'm laughing. All I did was bump into you…god I need help!''

Emily smirked liking seeing JJ laugh even if she had been woken up because of it. Her hand that had been draped around her started to stroke along the exposed skin of JJ's midriff, eventually ducking under the hem of her vest to search out more skin.

''I won't argue with that.''

She teased leaning in to place a string of kisses along JJ's neck. She got nudged in silent objection before her hand dropped from her face which gave Emily the opportunity to coax her into a languid kiss. She rolled in closer now concentrating solely on the kiss and getting closer to her wife's warm body. Moving her leg she quickly straddled her in one swift motion not breaking the exploratory kiss. Instantly she felt JJ's hands move to the small of her back where her skin was exposed from between her shorts and t-shirt.

''We have a half hour until Henry wakes up starving and lets us know about it!''

Emily stated as she panted lightly when they separated to breathe. She shuddered as JJ's hands glided up the length of her back and down again, tracing aimless patterns along her skin.

''Better keep ourselves occupied then, hadn't we?''

JJ replied suggestively a wicked and lop sided smirk crawling over her lips as she rake her nails lightly over Emily's back.

''You read my mind.''

Indeed that half an hour had been used extremely wisely as bed covers and sleeping clothes had all been pushed onto the floor leaving only the couple enjoying one another with nothing in their way. Within that half an hour they managed to cram in every ounce of passion and intimacy they felt for each other, connecting on a level that was theirs and theirs alone, safe to touch and feel and taste. To express physically what they felt for one another never been a couple lacking in the bedroom department even when JJ had been pregnant. In fact Emily had a rather few good stories about an extremely horny and hormonal blonde that JJ had threatened her with no sex ever again if she told them to anyone. Safe to say Emily had kept her mouth shut just in case, she certainly wasn't going to risk her sex life.

Emily's timing had been spot on; Henry was like clockwork in the morning. Indeed he hadn't hesitated to let his Mother's know that he was hungry, and as Emily had padded barefoot down into the kitchen after shoving her shorts and t-shirt back on to prepare his bottle, JJ had dressed just as quickly and gone to tend to him in the nursery. He stopped crying as soon as she picked him up, but had wiggled around and flapped throughout being changed, gurgling and responded to JJ's chatter to him lively. He laughed as she fooled around with him gently, laughing herself at his reactions. He was already getting so big she couldn't believe it. Before she knew it he'd be off to college.

JJ lifted him up into her arms just as Emily walked into the room with the ready bottle.

''Here we go.''

She leaned in her arm looping around the small of JJ's back as the other cupped around the back of Henry's head as she placed a kiss on his head, getting a little squeal in response that made her smile. He looked around inquisitively, shifting just a little bit in JJ's arms as she walked to the big armchair and sat down before taking the bottle and gave it to her son that took it eagerly. Emily sat on the opposite arm as Henry was at as not to disturb him, leaning into JJ's side but draping her arm across the back of the chair and her shoulders where her fingers began to stroke through her hair as she just watched her son.

''I was just thinking he's getting so big already, I swear he sleeps in a grow bag!''

JJ said with an amused chuckle. Emily did too before placing a kiss on the top of her head, taking a breath in slowly as she rested there.

''Yeah he is. I'm so; so glad we went through with it. There was a moment there when I thought we'd decide we weren't ready.''

She admitted thinking back to the conversations they'd had at length about starting a family. Being the people they were they'd had to think and talk about everything to make sure they were making the best choice. Henry was a very well planned out baby that was for sure. Which made it even better to her that he was here. It hadn't been a sudden decision or impulse. They had gone at it from every angle and although they had each had their own reservations they had known deep down that they could do this and that they wanted it so badly. Everything else they'd be able to handle as it came along, as they had been doing. Emily just looked at her son with pride pouring out of her, with so much love and adoration that it was almost unreal.

It had been the right choice this time.

''I think we were more than ready.''

JJ agreed with a smile as she raised her head and found Emily's mouth with her own.

''So when d'ya think we'll be doing this again?''

Emily murmured, half serious half teasing. JJ scoffed.

''We haven't finished doing this yet, hold your horses woman!''

Emily laughed as she kissed her wife again softly.

''I mean it. I was an only child and it was really sucky.''

''Hey I'm all for having a football team of babies, okay? Just let's get through his first year at least please?!''

''A football team huh? That's a _lot _of sex my darling wife, I'm all over that!''

JJ rolled her eyes and shook her head as she looked back down at Henry who was looking up at them with those bright blue eyes of his.

''You're Mom is such a guy!''

After Henry had been fed, Emily had taken him to get a quick little bath as JJ had gone downstairs to start some coffee going and do a few chores she hadn't gotten around to the previous night because one certain brunette had gotten a little amorous on the couch. As Emily had appeared downstairs with a squeaky clean Henry their nanny Annette had arrived and the Agent's had set about getting ready. Getting ready to JJ apparently included 'dragging' Emily into the shower for round two, but eventually they had managed to keep their hormones in check and their hands to themselves long enough to get ready. All too quickly they found themselves grabbing their stuff and saying their goodbyes to Henry in forms of hugs and kisses before they were out of the door and headed to work. For the last couple of weeks they hadn't been called out anywhere which had been a nice break, just working through cases from their offices as JJ made the assignments. Both of them had that feeling that it was about to change.

It took almost half the day, with work ticking over as usual and everyone just going about their work. Both Emily and JJ thought they might just get away with another day without heading off to one state or another. They had gone out for lunch along with Reid and Garcia, where Garcia had demanded to be shown the recent photos of Henry that JJ had forgotten to show her during the morning. So when they had gotten back she had kept her promise, grabbed the album she'd brought from her office and then gone into Garcia's where she and Morgan had been fooling around like normal. And that's when it had happened. As soon as Rossi had called unexpectedly, JJ had known that soon enough they would be on their jet heading toward Cleveland. As she had been doing as he had asked her to do, she had called Annette to warn her that they would probably have to head of within the next hour or so. Thank god for brilliant and understanding nannies.

''Hey, you guys okay?''

Both the blonde and the brunette looked up as Morgan sank himself into one of the seats opposite them as they had been quietly discussing over a few things from home and their house after taking a break from talking about the case. A serial killer studying serial killers was a lot to get your head wrapped around that was for sure. They both knew how even more so dangerous this could become if they didn't stop this guy he had plenty of people to choose from. Morgan had been carrying three mugs of coffee and pushed one over to each of his friends.

''Yeah, I think so.''

Emily stated lightly nodding her thanks as she picked up her coffee as JJ smiled warmly at him.

''Things going good with your nanny…what's her name again?''

''Annette.''

''Yeah, Annette. Henry with her right now?''

Morgan enquired knowing it was always hard for them to leave their son behind. Hotch had always had Hailey to take care of Jack but it had always been hard for him and everyone knew it even though he didn't say anything about it. He figured it was harder still for the both of them to leave Henry alone. Neither one of them seemed too close to their families, although JJ had said her Mom had sent Henry some knitted booties.

''Yeah he is. She's great, she was recommended to us by a friend of mine. Very experienced and qualified, and she doesn't mind our whole work situation. We have another service we can use, so if we're away for too long Annette can get a day nanny in so she can take a break. It works so far.''

Emily explained as Morgan listened attentively also knowing that Hotch was too from the table to the other side. She looked up as Reid sat down as he still stirred his own coffee.

''Did you know that the average nanny gets paid $700 a week? Times that by 52 and that makes $36,400?''

He stated in the way he usually stated facts that interested him. Morgan spluttered into his coffee making Reid raise an eyebrow at him. Getting control of himself again he looked at his friends incredulously.

''You pay that much?''

He squeaked deciding that children were definitely not for him just yet if they cost that much. His eyebrow quirked as JJ and Emily looked between each other. JJ looked down lightly as she rubbed the back of her neck and Emily cleared her throat and decided to drink some more coffee.

''No.''

JJ muttered in a little squeak trying to sound normal but not at all pulling it off. Morgan frowned slightly.

''No? You don't pay her that much?''

He asked almost shocked. Hotch lifted his head up from staring at the file in front of him.

''I think from the looks on their faces Morgan they're trying to tell you that they pay more. A lot more.''

He interjected before looking down again. Morgan blinked at them as they both cleared their throats again and looked up properly. Emily sighed as she was fixed with his questioning gaze.

''What?''

''Tell me how much you pay.''

''No!''

''Why not?''

''Why should I?''

JJ rolled her eyes at the childish and declining spat and watched Reid narrow his eyes in thought.

''If its an average live in nanny it would be $700 but considering the work hours and the time away from home that wouldn't constitute as average. Plus she doesn't live there when they're home but I wouldn't figure that would make too much of a difference. Without the extra service…$52,000?''

He muttered until he declared proudly his estimated amount of money per year. He looked between Emily and JJ almost giddily dying to know if he was right. Emily didn't relent but JJ couldn't let the kid sit in that kind of suspense any longer.

''Well done Spence.''

He looked awfully pleased with himself as he grinned triumphantly even as Morgan coughed again.

''That's $1000 a week guys! That's almost one of your wages a year!''

''So? It's our baby, Morgan. He needs to be with someone we trust if he can't be with us.''

Emily defended getting a little huffy. She hated this when it came up. Money had never really been a worry for her. Or well actually it had never been a worry whatsoever. All her wage was doing was adding to the huge bank account she already had and ever since Henry was born a rather nice portion of it went into a trust fund for him anyway. It was well known that she came from old money but she had always been uncomfortable talking about it because she didn't want her friends to think differently of her as they would each other. But the truth was she didn't need to work, JJ didn't need to work and Henry could do what he damn well pleased and so could his children's children. The Prentiss family was an extremely old family, a very prestigious one and had always lived in the upper social elite. It didn't mean that Emily went around throwing money at everything, she had never done that. But if she wanted the best care for her child she was willing to spend however much she had to. They both were, it had never been second guessed.

''I care to bet they give her extra when they're away on cases, too.''

Reid added.

''Okay Spence, enough with the estimated guesses on our childcare expenses please. Look Emily is right. We have to leave Henry and we won't do that unless he's properly cared for. It's not an issue for us so don't turn it into one; it's hard enough for us to leave him behind. Plus you know Em hates it.''

JJ smoothed over diplomatically moving her hand under the table to put just above Emily's knee and give it a gentle squeeze. She felt Emily relax, her hand joining hers under the table discretely as Morgan held up his hands and nodded.

''I hear you no worries. Hey I'm totally with you on this one ladies, I was just a little shocked is all.''

He relented not wanting to wind Emily up because that had never been his intention. He just wished he had that kind of freedom with his money.

''Lets get back to the case then, shall we?''

The conversation that followed after Hotch's light suggestion was all theorising and airing out ideas as they got closer and closer to their destination. JJ and Emily had kept their hands held for most of that time and for parts of the time JJ's mind had drifted over to Rossi, who she hadn't been on the greatest of terms with ever since she yelled at him a few weeks ago. They were perfectly fine working together and talking like that but every time they found themselves alone in the same room without something to mull over in regard to work they had no idea what to say. So they always ended up discussing Emily which the brunette had been horrified about once she had found out. She kept joking that JJ had frightened the man when she'd shouted at him but JJ doubted that was true nor did she think she had ruffled his feathers. She thought it had more to do with the fact that like he had told her, she was a complete mystery to him. He had been trying to work her out.

''JJ…can you help me out with something?''

JJ looked at him for a second mildly surprised that he had asked her and expected him to say something or other about the press or send her on some fact finding mission. The others had walked away and she was surprised also that he seemed a little bit different than usual. Startled almost.

''Sure.''

She watched closely as he looked after the others as if he was anxious and only looked back at her as the team filtered into a side room.

''This has to be confidential.''

Despite that JJ was surprised by Rossi's behaviour she wasn't surprised at all that he had asked her to organise it so he paid for Zoe's funeral. He had given her strict orders to make sure it was all-anonymous knowing her powers of getting around people. After that he had given her his bankcard and she had gone about setting that up for him. As she had been on the phone to the funeral directors sweet-talking the manager he had been sat in the corner thinking tiredly and watching her to see how she operated. He looked haunted.

By the time he had gone to do some work and she had gone to do hers it had been getting late and as JJ held her phone to her ear she rubbed her eyes with her other hand and sighed slowly.

''You sound tired kitten.''

Garcia observed from the other end of the line. JJ smiled wanly as she blinked and widened her eyes to force them to wake up.

''Nothing a good coffee won't fix don't worry. But…could you do me a favour?''

''Name it.''

''Would you call Annette to check in? I gotta go give this stuff to Hotch and then do a million other things! It's hard to snag a few moments to ourselves right now.''

JJ explained as she glanced out into the busy bullpen. She could see Emily in the side room where she was using her hands to gesture in whatever she was talking over with the guys as they did the same, sometimes pointing at the board and sometimes making movements on the other in effort to go through what the killer was thinking and work out where he was coming from.

''I would be happy to angel face.''

JJ smiled gratefully.

''You're the bomb Garcia.''

''Oh you know it baby!''

JJ laughed as she withdrew her phone and disconnected the call. Always leave it to Garcia to say something to make her laugh. Standing up and gathering her information she headed out to talk to Hotch. Only ten minutes later she found herself in the car with Rossi, her behind the wheel as he slumped slightly in the passengers seat.

''Are you okay?''

She dared to ask still keeping her concentration on the road even though she wanted to turn and look at him for a second to see his expression. He took a long breath in clearing his throat lightly and shuffled up in his seat a little.

''Tired.''

He answered softly the truth of his statement evidenced in his voice.

''I'm sorry about Zoe, she seemed like a nice kid.''

She offered sincerely. From what she had learnt about her so far she had seemed to be a really intelligent girl dedicated to doing some good with her smarts.

''Yeah, she was. Thanks. You know…for helping me out with that…thing.''

''No problem.''

By the time that JJ dragged herself back to the hotel she couldn't stop yawning. Keying the door she pushed it open with her shoulder to find the room empty. She set her bag down and walked into the bathroom to set it going and pulled out her toiletries and the clothes she would be sleeping in before going in and stripping down to get under the spray. It was hot and she let it soak into her muscles. It had been a long day. Longer from the plane ride. They wouldn't have much time to sleep that was for sure. And JJ knew that tonight and waking up in the morning would be a totally different kettle of fish to how last night and this morning had been. Garcia had checked in with Annette though and everything was running fine at home. Henry was settled and doing okay and that gave her some peace at least.

It wasn't long before Emily made her way into the room too after staying behind to finish off some work that she had been pouring over. Her mind was overrun with ideas and thoughts about their unsub and his behaviours and his chosen serial killers to copy. There was a lot of interesting theorising on this case and she couldn't help but get completely engulfed by it. A killer that decided to test out other people's killing styles was intellectually very interesting. She just wished it was all theory and that no one innocent had to die.

Emily put her stuff on the bed next to JJ's bag and stripped her jacket off as she looked around the room observantly. Her wife had obviously brought a couple of sandwiches up from downstairs along with a couple of drinks as they sat on the vanity opposite the bed. Emily took one of the drinks and unscrewed the tap and took a couple of mouthfuls before slipping out of her shoes and taking out her cuffs, badge and gun and setting them down on the nightstand before adding her watch to the pile. Still thoughtful about the case she got changed quickly and by the time JJ emerged from the bathroom Emily was sat in the middle of the bed with her legs crossed and had gotten through half a sandwiches and a drink as she read through more reports.

''Hey.''

''Hey. Anything jumping out at you there?''

JJ nodded toward the file and Emily sighed and shook her head watching as her wife put her hardware on the nightstand at the other side of the bed and crawled onto it, moving toward her and sitting beside her but just behind so she could rest her chin on her shoulder.

''No not really. I guess I'll have to wait for more reports tomorrow.''

JJ nodded as she lifted her hand up to rub Emily's shoulder softly.

''You need to talk to Rossi. I don't think he's doing so great on this one.''

Emily nodded cringing slightly as she turned toward JJ a little.

''Yeah I noticed. I will.''

''Garcia checked in with Annette, things are okay at home.''

Emily smiled as she dropped the file and nodded.

''Good. That's good.''

JJ kissed her on the side of the head her hand running through dark hair before she rolled away and lifted the covers up.

''C'mon, let's get some sleep whilst we can.''

It seemed like forever and a day until they got home. It was early afternoon so the two Mother's had gotten to spend some time with their sun, basking in the afternoon sunlight and getting dinner to which Annette stayed for too. It was early that evening that Emily had headed out after making sure Henry was settled in and giving JJ a soft kiss as she left her in the living room idly watching TV. 30 minutes later she eased into a stool a couple of spaces down from Rossi's, watching him sip his scotch slowly as he thought. She ordered her own drink and then told the woman behind the bar to give him another of what he was having.

When the woman slid the drink across to him he looked up.

''I didn't order another yet.''

The strawberry blonde nodded, smirking softly as she gestured down the bar.

''It was ordered by the pretty girl there. A new lady friend?''

Rossi looked at Emily who just leant on the bar but turned her head this way her own glass between her hands. He smirked as he turned back to the woman at the bar who had learnt by now since he came here so much that he was a little bit of a ladies man.

''More like the daughter I should've had.''

He corrected lightly. He finished the liquid in his glass and then picked up the one Emily had sent before standing and moving to the stool next to hers. She watched him but remained silent as did he for a few moments. He glanced at her glass and quirked an eyebrow curiously.

''I thought you were a whiskey and wine kind of girl?''

He commented making her smirk slightly as she looked at the Irish crème in her glass.

''Yeah well you stay married to JJ long enough and you automatically become an Irish crème kind of girl too!''

She explained lightly. He laughed softly nodding in understanding.

''Wasn't your fault Dave.''

''I know.''

''Do you?''

He paused hesitating on the answer because he wasn't sure. Emily exhaled and turned to him a bit more.

''Zoe was already looking into those murders. It's what she wanted to do.''

He frowned a little as she drew his head back.

''So what…she was asking for it?''

''Hey, you know damn well that's not what I was saying so don't even start. I'm saying she was doing what she wanted to do with her life. We know that because we do it too. No one can influence that. You didn't make her do it, just like if you would have told her to stop she never would have. Because neither would we. She was one of us Rossi.''

Rossi looked at her unsurprised that she had called him on his crap defence mechanism pot shot and listened properly. He got what she was saying he really did. But he had walked away from that kid and left her thinking that he probably didn't believe her. So he had given her his card? Did that mean anything? Had he inspired her or just acted like a self-righteous jerk? He sighed and sipped his whiskey again as he thought about it.

''I should have paid more attention.''

He mused solemnly. Emily drew in a breath holding it there for a moment as she thought about it dark eyes whirling deeply.

''Do you think any one of us would have done anything differently? We're FBI Agent's that profile criminal behaviour. We're not perfect and we're not gods. Most times a spree of killings is just a spree of killings, you know that. I would have done just as you did, given her my card and told her to keep on working. You've inspired a lot of people, you should be proud of that. This time was a one in a million time.''

She reasoned genuinely and honestly. She could think of quite a handful of people in their own department that had done certain things because of him. Including Reid. Rossi drew in a breath with a slight smirk appearing on his lips.

''Oh that's right. I guess if it wasn't for me you wouldn't be married right now would you?''

The brunette frowned slightly somewhat bewildered by the total turn in the conversation. What had her marriage to do with him?

''What?''

''JJ? Georgetown? She didn't tell you?''

Emily still looked at him blankly.

''Tell me what?''

''She said she applied for the FBI after seeing me talk at Georgetown when she was a senior, that she didn't know what she was going to do before that.''

Emily quirked an eyebrow as she absorbed that little tidbit, having never known it but not completely surprised either. It was odd that JJ hadn't told anyone but then again she probably hadn't wanted anyone to think she was one of those David Rossi followers when he started working at the BAU again.

''Huh.''

Rossi leaned in with an amused and playful smirk and look in his eyes.

''Your welcome!''

Emily scoffed as she rolled her eyes before taking a long drink. At least she had gotten him to cheer up a little bit…or well, she supposed JJ had really.

''See, that's exactly what I mean. Don't damn yourself over this she wouldn't have wanted you to do that.''

He sighed as he nodded knowing that ultimately Emily was right. He hated listening to other people especially when they had a damn point but somehow it seemed a little easier to take from Emily.

''We got him.''

''Yeah, we did.''

He nodded again throwing back the last of his drink and sighing.

''When did you last eat David?''

Emily wondered speculatively. He shrugged and shook his head as he narrowed his eyes at her in questioning. She stood up leaving her drink half unfinished and gestured toward the door.

''Let's go.''

''What?''

''Do you honestly think I'm going to leave you alone to drink yourself into oblivion tonight? Oh no my friend. Out.''

She gestured again toward the door with a serious expression that he knew was not to be messed with. Huffing he stood up a little afraid to say no to her.

''Are you always this bossy?''

''I have my moments.''

''I'm sure you're so easy to be married to.''

''Hey! She loves it.''

''I really don't wanna know! You know, that girl of yours is still a total mystery to me.''

Emily scoffed as they reached her car.

''Sorry, I'm married to the woman and I still don't have a clue. When you figure her out just let me know, okay?!''


	3. Marriage

Disclaimer - I own nothing

Adapted from 'Pleasure Is My Business'

Thanks to everyone that's been so interested and stuff it's been really cool to hear from you all.

XXXXXXXXXXXXX

''Cheers.''

''Cheers.''

The wine glasses clinked together and there was a momentary pause as Emily and JJ both sipped on their respective drinks. It was early evening and it had been JJ to suggest opening a bottle of wine which they hadn't done for a while. Although JJ wasn't breastfeeding anymore and they had now switched to formula for Henry she hadn't been drinking. Even when they went out she went for a sparkling water or something like that. She felt okay now though and had thought it would be nice to relax on the couch with her wife with a glass of white wine and just snuggle up together and perhaps watch a movie.

''So my Mom called the other day. Wants to know when we're taking Henry up there.''

JJ broached lightly as she sighed at the same time twiddling a strand of hair in her fingers of Emily's. She stared into the fire that Emily had turned on watching the flames dance and shine. Her Mom had caught her off guard and in all honesty she had struggled for something to tell her. Just saying work was heavy and they would work something out soon. JJ didn't know when she had gotten so good at lying to her Mother.

''Okay…are we actually going or are you telling me so that if she calls me next I can tell her the same story that you did?''

Emily wondered lightly and knowingly. She had no room to criticize and that's certainly not what she was doing. If JJ didn't want to go home then she didn't want to go home. It didn't much matter to her whether Henry saw the Jareau side of the family because it wasn't like he saw the Prentiss side. They received things from JJ's parents for the baby which they were happy to accept. They talked on the phone and emailed pictures…but when JJ and her parents got in the same room it was like a total flip. Their relationship was fine over the phone but standing close to one another it tended to be entirely different.

''I told her work was busy right now.''

Emily nodded once in understanding.

''Got it. Although…that's not much of a lie. Work _is _busy, always.''

JJ smiled at Emily's pondersome expression and knew it was for her benefit so she didn't feel bad. It wasn't that she hated her folks or anything she didn't actually she loved them. But they were hard people to be around and distance made their relationship so much the better. They checked in for the major events that's what counted she supposed. It would do anyway. And right now JJ didn't need to hear about her 'dangerous job unfit for women and especially Mother's' or 'I thought this ridiculous lesbian phase would have died out by now' talks. The weird thing is they actually liked Emily. They liked her but they still expected her to suddenly wake up one morning and go find herself a big hunk of a man.

''Thank you for dinner by the way it was lovely.''

JJ added as she placed a kiss on Emily's cheek still content in just being so close and stroking through her hair. The brunette grunted.

''It was just spaghetti bolognese, nothing too special.''

''I love your spaghetti.''

JJ protested lightly as she stuck out her bottom lip which made Emily smirk.

''I know and I've cooked fancier things for you and yet your favourite is the spaghetti. You're an odd woman Jareau.''

''No I'm just easy to please.''

Emily drew her head back in understanding.

''Ah. _That's _why you married me!''

She joked with a pretend serious voice of realisation. JJ chuckled and nudged her lightly.

''Very funny.''

Emily nodded and grunted lightly in what only had to be agreement before she took another sip of her wine. There was a lull as they simply either watched the fire or the TV that was on low as they waited for the movie to start on one of the networks. Emily did realise something though and a thoughtful expression pooled in her eyes.

''Why did you marry me?''

She asked lightly with no amount of anything but curiosity as though she really didn't know.

''Because you asked?''

JJ suggested making Emily look at her properly and raise an eyebrow.

''No really, why did you say yes?''

She persevered tone still light. JJ took a breath in sipped on her wine and then let a breath out again. She thought back to the day that Emily proposed. Unlike the time that the brunette had asked her out for the first time she had managed to do it rather smoothly as they had been laughing at random conversation points one morning in bed whilst they had been on vacation. They were in Nassau and Emily had managed to angle her way in and 'innocently' joke about marriage and when JJ had joked back Emily had taken the opportunity to smoothly present her with her ring.

''Because every time I look at you I see future.''

Emily mulled it over and pulled an impressed expression.

''Smooth!''

''Thanks! Why'd you ask me?''

JJ wondered if they were going to play this game then she was going to put Emily up to the same question. Though ultimately she knew they both knew exactly why they had done it.

''Because you're the only person that ever makes me feel like me, including myself. And I knew we could be happy.''

JJ smiled as she leaned in and placed a soft kiss on Emily's lips.

''Very happy. I mean who else makes spaghetti for me the way you do?!''

Emily laughed as she shook her head lightly before accepting another kiss that ended just as the movie started to come on. JJ turned the volume up a little and rested her head on her wife's shoulder feeling rather content and warm. They just rested in comfortable silence as they watched the movie but began to fidget about 15 minutes in due to its incredible dullness. Eventually Emily just sighed and turned her head toward JJ.

''You enjoying this?''

''Hell no!''

''Do you wanna make out instead?''

She grinned suggestively and wiggled her eyebrows lightly as she suggested it knowing that JJ would almost definitely not refuse. From the looks of her smirk she knew she was right.

''Gladly!''

Emily chuckled as she moved in to take JJ's eager mouth and thoroughly enjoyed the simple but wonderful art of full-blown make out sessions.

The next morning was as chaotic as ever though and found her stood inside their large walk in closet. She was ready to go apart from the fact she needed a shirt.

''JJ? Have you seen my black shirt?''

Emily yelled since she had no idea where JJ was as she routed through her side of the walk in closet. Her side. As if. Their closet was supposed to be two sided but inevitably everything got mixed and if it somehow by the grace of nature it didn't JJ tended to steal what she wanted anyway. Secretly Emily had loved JJ being pregnant not only for everything else but for the fact she had gotten half her clothes back or at least managed to keep new ones hers for a little while longer than she usually did.

''Which one?''

Came the called out reply from somewhere.

''The…black one?''

Emily really hadn't thought about this. She had quite a variety of black so how did she really expect to describe one to JJ? Sighing Emily stood back and rubbed her forehead as she rolled her tongue along her bottom lip and turned around slowly so suspiciously look over JJ's side. Almost immediately she spotted what she was looking for.

''Oh look, I found it.''

She drawled sarcastically snagging the top and pulling it over her head and straightening it out. Running her hands through her hair to straighten that out too Emily walked out into the bedroom as JJ walked into it, hesitating in her stride briefly as she looked Emily up and down.

''Damn you look sexy. I love you in black.''

Emily arched an eyebrow.

''Just black or do I get to wear other colours too?''

She drawled again dryly but with a twinkle gleaming in her eyes that made JJ scoff and roll her eyes.

''If I say just black do I get all your other clothes?''

''Oh what because you haven't stolen enough already? I had to steal this one back as it was.''

JJ slinked up to her wife and eased her hands along her shoulder as she pushed her slowly back up against the closet doorframe and pressed into her before drawing her into a deep and languid kiss. Once Emily was sufficiently docile JJ kissed along her neck and then moved to put her mouth near her ear.

''I'll make it up to you.''

She whispered before pushing away and walking around to the other side of the room to pick up her badge from the nightstand leaving Emily finding her breath and swallowing hard. After the brunette had found her bearings they had headed downstairs where the radio was on and JJ had already washed up after breakfast. Annette was watching over Henry as they had been getting ready as usual and after a little chitchat and a little coffee later they had said their goodbyes like usual and had been off to work.

''Oh for the love of god…_learn to drive_!''

Emily yelled as she scowled at the driver in front of her that was causing her so much aggravation. She huffed as she navigated their way through early morning traffic glowering at all the drivers that 'should have had their license taken away'.

''Em, calm down.''

JJ said from the passengers side as she scrolled through a message she had been sent by Hotch. He hadn't called her last night in effort to not interrupt her time at home when it wasn't really necessary but had wanted to inform her that he was in Texas and that it was extremely likely he'd need the team there soon and he was working through a little red tape that he needed help with.

''Oh, really? Do you want to drive instead?''

Emily snapped making JJ look up from her message.

''Hey I'm not the one that insists we take your car okay? I have a car too you know? And I'm not all obsessive about other people driving it like you. I would gladly drive if you were willing to let me get behind the wheel of your precious baby.''

The blonde reminded, not completely with anger but with enough irritation to remind Emily that she didn't need to snap and she had brought it on herself by doing all the driving in the first place because she was in love with her car. When Emily didn't say anything more JJ knew she had made her point and went back to reading her message. Then when she looked back up again she held her hand out toward her wife.

''Give me your phone.''

Emily frowned taken off guard.

''What?''

''Your phone. Hand it over.''

Still frowning Emily dug her phone out from her pocket and handed it over to JJ.

''What're you doing with it?''

''I'm putting Henry's pediatrician appointment in your calendar so you don't forget and schedule some sort of consultation over it or something.''

JJ answered as she begun her task. It wasn't that she thought Emily would forget the appointment per say. It was just sometimes dates could fall out of her head every now and again even though she knew exactly what was happening on them. And considering that she consulted via phone and sometimes webcam with authorities across the country JJ didn't want her to organize something on the morning they had booked off for the appointment where Henry was getting his checkup.

''Whilst you're at it could you schedule in our date?''

At Emily's words JJ frowned slightly and looked up.

''What date?''

''The one I'm about to ask you out on.''

JJ just smiled wryly.

''What, you trying to make up for your road rage or the fact you love your car more than me?''

She teased easily making Emily scoff in amusement as she steered around to the entrance into their Quantico grounds. They were waved through as they were checked off and Emily made her way down towards the section they needed to be in at their building. Sometimes she couldn't believe she worked here when she had trained here all that time ago always dying to one-day end up in the BAU. If only she had known that she would gain so much more than that.

''Sorta both. So what do you say? You wanna go steady with me?''

She asked playfully as she rolled into a parking spot and cut the engine. She turned to look at JJ who acted like she was thinking and weighing up the pros and cons.

''Hey! You're not supposed to think about it!''

Emily protested in a higher pitched voice. JJ shrugged her shoulders and pulled an 'apologetic' face as she handed Emily her phone back.

''You're just not my type, _sorry_!''

Emily gaped as she watched her wife get out of the car and barely restrain a laugh. Indignant but somewhere amused Emily got out too and looked across the top of the car.

''Not your type?''

She repeated making JJ shrug nonchalantly again.

''Nope. Soccer players don't date chess geeks. But if you're real nice I might get a milkshake with you one day if you do my homework.''

She offered in a vain-schoolgirl type voice which made Emily raise her eyebrow in speculation.

''Oh my god. I just got a frightening glimpse of Jennifer Jareau at 16! Whatever would your fellow girl jocks say about you shacking up with the goofy geek?''

She teased and questioned as she pulled her go bag out from the back seat as JJ did the same. Both of them shut the car doors and began to walk away and Emily pointed backward and locked the car and alarmed it at the same time. She looked at JJ as they fell into stride together.

''They'd say I shacked up with the hottest geek ever.''

The pair continued to joke around as they made it through the security and then up to their floor. Stowing away their bags in the locker room the couple meandered toward the BAU's kitchenette to grab some coffee before they went to work. As JJ received another text from their boss she ended up cutting her conversation short with Emily just as Morgan waltzed in and excused herself and left them talking instead. She caught something about Morgan and some girl from last night and found that it was rather Emily than her listening to that particular story. She loved Morgan to pieces but she couldn't really be all that bothered to hear about his latest conquest. As she spent most of the early morning on the phone hassling people or negotiating or just plain charming the pants off them JJ put together everything on the case they would be joining Hotch at as well as reorganizing couple of meetings and putting together some files for various other Agent's. Making sure she had everything that was pending and urgent sorted out she herded everyone together and Emily had called Annette to tell her they were heading off to Texas.

Emily really hated this. Digging through a traumatized woman's relationship with her husband. Prying out intimate details. She did it because it was her job and they needed to know the information but if they could have caught this woman without having to ask the bitter yet grieving wife these types of questions Emily would consider that gold. Upon pulling up outside the house she couldn't help but be reminded a little of her Mother's house. The one she had now was a little like this, but they had one even more so like it when she was younger. It had been a little bigger but remarkably similar.

After probing the woman to get their information and Emily had followed Morgan out of the door and down the pathway back toward their SUV she sighed a little as she slipped her sunglasses back on. It was scary how marriages could look perfect on the outside but be shattered inside. She thanked her lucky stars that hers wasn't like that. She and JJ had a little of an age difference but nothing like that, it's not what she had been attracted to or what the relationship was based around. They had an active and rather interesting and exploratory sex life but within the respect of their relationship. This was something else.

''Do you ever think that'll happen to you?''

Morgan asked as they got back into the car.

''Excuse me?''

Emily squeaked shooting him with an incredulous and murderous glare.

''No _that_. I mean…the working at it part.''

Emily took a long breath in as she buckled her seatbelt still a little disgruntled by the question but seeing that it was relatively an earnest one.

''There is no such thing as an easy marriage, Morgan. From that first moment you're working at it. It's what makes it so worth while.''

Morgan grunted speculatively as he started the car and pulled away from the roadside.

''But you and JJ seem so natural.''

''We are. But do you really believe it's like that the whole time? Jesus, you should live with us for a couple of weeks. Everyone is just the same no matter where they come from. We fight, we do things that piss the other off, we live in the same house and sometimes spend nights in different rooms until we go to bed. We're people Morgan, not some characters out of a romantic comedy.''

She explained thoughtfully.

''So how'd you do all of that? Make it work I mean?''

''Well we love each other.''

''That's it?''

''Have you ever been in love?''

Morgan thought for a second.

''I dunno, maybe?''

''No. If you say maybe then you haven't been. When you fall in love let me know. Because then I'll ask you if 'that's it'.''

He frowned slightly in confusion at her comment.

''Why?''

''Because you don't say 'that's it' to love okay? You don't look at it like its just some flippant object you can find at the local store. Being in love, and I mean _really _being in love, is so unlike anything else that's ever existed in your life. It's not always perfect but its definitely something else and when someone comes along and says 'that's it' is really annoying.''

Emily answered irritably scowling beneath the sunglasses. She knew why she was mad but she didn't know why she was _so _mad. Probably because she was dealing with a bunch of elitist creeps that demeaned their marriages and belittled their wives in a way that she could never do. But in a way that she had seen her Father do. Plus Morgan's question was so absurdly naïve that it was ultimately demeaning too because she knew he didn't put any stock into marriage really.

''I just don't see it. I mean look at these people, look what they've done to each other. That's love and marriage? Add old money and privilege in and look what you get.''

Emily huffed indignantly starring at him in ultimate disbelief. She'd heard a lot of things come from his mouth but she didn't think anything like that would. He was a player but she didn't think he thought like that about marriage. And about rich people.

''You know what _Derek_, screw you.''

By the time the two arrived back at the office Emily hadn't said another word to him rather than completely ignored him as he kept asking what he had done. He had no idea. She strode off angrily, which gained a few odd stares. By the time Hotch got back they put their information together and as soon as her boss had mentioned her name to go and see this Madame she had threw Reid's name out immediately so that she could take a break from Morgan before she strangled him for such a flippant and offensive comment. It had struck a deeper nerve that he assumed that this was the whole of love and marriage but also that he assumed this was the life of every rich and privileged person.

Trust the ever-dependable Dr Reid to cheer her up.

''She did not!''

JJ chuckled from the main bedroom section of the room making Emily grunt as she stood up straight from by the sink and snicker around her toothbrush.

''I swear to you she did. Ask Reid.''

She replied mumbled a little from the brush.

''A Madame offering you a scone. Great. I'm not letting you out of the house ever again!''

She joked with a laugh and a flash of her eyes before she cringed a little at the very idea of some high-end escort manager coming onto her wife. Still it was a little absurd that she seemed to have been so prim and proper. Certainly had given Emily and her a good laugh about it anyway. It was nice to see Emily back in an agreeable mood after she seemed off earlier. JJ presumed it had something to do with the chilly atmosphere between her and Morgan but she had decided not to poke around about it. If Emily wanted to tell her she'd gladly listen and help but when the two of those argued she had learnt not to interrupt until one of them came to her. Plus they could be like little kids.

''You don't worry about that, do you?''

Emily wondered as she stepped out of the bathroom and switched the light off. She looked across at JJ who was doing something or other with her Blackberry and standing at the opposite side of the bed. The blonde took a second to finish what she was doing and then looked up with a confused look on her face as she put the phone on the nightstand.

''Worry about what?''

''You know…me and…_that_.''

JJ opened her mouth to make a joke but stopped as she saw that it was actually a serious question and even that Emily seemed a little anxious about it.

''Do I worry you're going to get seduced by a high-end call girl? No. Why would you even ask that?''

Emily shrugged slowly.

''I don't know.''

''It's a really strange question to put out there Emily.''

''I know…I just…never mind, it doesn't matter. It's just this case is all. Forget about it.''

Clearing her throat Emily began to occupy herself with pulling back the covers and getting in before making herself comfortable. JJ watched her intently for a moment with a light frown of wonder and concern still touching her forehead. She got in too and shifted toward Emily automatically.

''Em?''

''Yeah?''

''I don't worry about anything like that, I never have. I trust you implicitly.''

Emily looked at her touched by the sincerity in her voice and the fact JJ seemed to know without knowing the reason that she needed it to be taken seriously and validated. She placed a long kiss on her wife's mouth and smiled as she drew back.

''Thank you.''

JJ just nodded and shuffled down in the bed as Emily turned off the light. As usual they only had a handful of hours to get some rest. Cuddling up together the women just laid out in the darkness.

''Besides with everything we get up to in the bedroom and how frequently we get up to it I very much doubt a call girl would be needed!''

JJ just couldn't resist that one last shot joke and chuckled as Emily laughed.

The next day and JJ noticed that the air between Emily and Morgan was still a little strained. However she was distracted by going through the details of the last victims life…and wondered if she could make an appointment with the FBI psychiatrist to help her get the image of fetish Batman out of her brain…the look on the others' faces had been priceless. These guys were jerks. All that money and refusing to spend any of it on their kids and ex wives? It was so wrong. They thought they were gods gift to the earth because they were CEO's at affluent companies. Just threw money around like it was nothing. She noticed that Emily had grimaced a little at that too, also distasteful of these people's behaviour toward their family. Probably on two levels, her upbringing and her own family. JJ was still adjusting to the fact that marrying Emily had wiped out completely her debt from college and she really didn't need to worry about these things anymore. It was really weird to get used to having all of that behind them. But she took the same cue as Emily in that it wasn't money that made people it was everything else. Obviously these guys hadn't learnt that particular lesson.

''Yo JJ, you got a minute?''

JJ frowned slightly not looking up from the file she was reading.

''What do you need?''

She mumbled from having her pen in her mouth. Morgan looked around as he moved closer gaining JJ's attention as she breathed in deeply and took the pen out of her mouth and waited for him to say something.

''I think I upset Emily yesterday.''

''Okay.''

''She got a little…sensitive when I was talking 'bout marriage and stuff.''

JJ narrowed her eyes at him speculatively.

''Okay.''

Morgan sighed slightly as she blinked and put his hands on his hips as he thought speculatively.

''I said something to her 'bout love and marriage and these people, you know?''

''Expand.''

''We were talking about marriage and I asked her if she thought you guys would have to work on it eventually and I said something 'bout rich folk and marriage and love not being anything much to me if this is what it is and she flipped out on me.''

He explained roughly. JJ nodded as he spoke remaining quiet though narrowed her eyes thoughtfully at him watching for any sign of realisation in his eyes. When she saw none and he looked at her simply she drew in a slow breath.

''So let me get this straight. First you equal our marriage to their marriage. Then you take a shot at rich people and insinuate that they're all like this and this is inevitably happens. And then you just trash talk love a little, I presume? And get all flippant about something you actually haven't experienced? And now you're coming to me asking why Emily flipped out on you?''

''I didn't mean anything personal.''

''Morgan…it _is _personal, don't you see that? You compared our marriage! And our marriage includes a child, it includes me. You insinuated that rich people end up like this so does that not equate that you think _we _will. Or have you forgotten that Emily comes from an extremely prominent family just like these ones? Do you think that was easy to swallow? One of her best friends equating all that the way you did?''

Morgan blinked as JJ's words started to make sense in his head. He had never thought of it like that before. He knew how protective Emily was about her family and it must have been perceived like some sort of attack almost. Like he was saying that she would turn out like these people because that's just what happened. And the way she felt about JJ and Henry it must have been an abhorrent thought.

''Look, I know you didn't mean anything by it. You just have to think about these things before you charge in. It's hard enough fighting the people who don't think we have the right to be married in the first place. We don't need to think our friends feel like it doesn't mean anything because it does to us. I think deep down she knows you weren't saying anything like that, she's just a little jarred by this case is all. It's a familiar world to her.''

JJ softened a tone a little from her stricter tone a moment ago. She really did know Morgan hadn't meant to imply what he had. He was their friend and he believed in them. He could just be a serious idiot sometimes and forgot to think before he opened his mouth. What JJ knew was that Emily was still afraid to turn into her Father. That's where the question last night had come from, probably spurred by things with Morgan. But JJ knew that what happened in Emily's family was never going to be right or settled. And maybe Emily knew she would never raise her hand like that but a part of her was still always going to be afraid she would turn into his character. Into these men's characters. Men that had made a family and pissed it away, not giving a damn about even their kids. It offended her; on many levels it offended her but particularly as a wife and Mother. And JJ could understand that.

''I really didn't mean anything like that, I swear.''

He all but whispered guiltily with a devastated look in his eyes as he realised the implications. JJ nodded and put a hand on his arm gently.

''I know.''

''Are we…I mean are we good?''

''Yeah, we're good. You didn't say it to me, go make it right with her.''

Morgan nodded lightly.

''I will, thanks JJ.''

An hour later and JJ smirked as she saw Emily and Morgan goofing around together as they prepared to leave. She rolled her eyes lightly and shook her head as she picked up her blackberry and scrolled through her contacts list. She wasn't in the least bit surprised to see them like that. She cleared her throat and lifted her blackberry to her ear.

''Penelope, I need a favor. A big favor and you cannot tell Emily…''

It was forever and a day later when JJ found herself approaching Emily's car right where they had left it in the parking lot. Silently they had both walked out from the building with their bags in hand just thinking and savoring the air. Emily pulled her keys out of her back pocket and pressed the lock and the car beeped to signal the alarm was switched off. JJ opened the trunk and shoved her bag inside holding the door as Emily did the same. As she shut it she didn't expect Emily to hold the keys out toward her. Looking at them the blonde hesitated.

''You want _me_ to drive?''

''Sure.''

JJ looked at her wife dubiously.

''Seriously?''

Emily just nodded mildly amused by the suspicion she was being pointed with.

''What did you do?''

JJ wondered as she fixed a narrow eyed look on her trying to pick up any kind of guilt or something that would give away the very unexpected gesture.

''I don't love my car more than you. Granted I'm very attached to it, but I don't love it more than you.''

Emily stated evenly but sincerely. She had been wanting to make that clear ever since JJ had griped at her about it when they had been coming to work the other day. So she had a thing about her car, it wasn't such a big deal. And sure she got a little wound up about anyone driving it. It was beautiful and she knew every detail of that car, every noise it made. It even had a personality and when JJ wasn't with her or she thought she wasn't listening or was too distracted to notice, she would talk to it sometimes. Not a full on conversation because that would've been weird, but encouraging comments and the such.

''Baby, I adore the gesture and I thank you very much of it, but there is absolutely no way I'm getting behind the wheel of this car.''

JJ replied with conviction and a trace of amusement. Emily sighed in relief and pulled her outreached hand back immediately.

''Oh thank god!''

JJ laughed but nudged the brunette lightly.

''Empty gesture much?''

''I really would have let you drive. I just might have been a little…uncomfortable, is all.''

''Uh hu, if comfortable is code for backseat driving and screaming out for me to watch the pedestrians all the way on the sidewalk or something like that, sure.''

JJ continued to tease Emily the entire way home enjoying the easy banter. Soon enough they were there and she followed Emily in to the dark and seemingly empty house. The brunette flicked on some lights as she walked through into the kitchen where she also had to flick on some lights.

''Annette must be asleep.''

''Annette isn't here.''

JJ informed casually. Emily spun around and gaped at her.

''What do you mean Annette isn't here? Where is she? Where's Henry?''

''Em, first of all, breathe. Second of all Garcia picked Henry up and he is currently being spoilt rotten by his fabulous godmother.''

A little taken back Emily struggled for something to say.

''Why?''

''Tell you what, take our stuff upstairs and I'll be right up after you okay?''

Emily just looked at JJ dubiously having no idea what was going on and why JJ hadn't told her of the plan for Garcia to babysit Henry overnight. Because it was too late for it not to be overnight. She didn't mind, but she would really have loved to be informed. Still knowing that JJ wasn't going to give her any answers until she did what she said she picked up their bags and headed upstairs.

When she got there she pushed open the door with one of the bags and stepping inside she dumped one of them and flicked on the lamps rather than the main light. Immediately her jaw dropped and she gasped as she looked at the bed. The one that was currently covered in lilies, her favourite flower. There were strawberries in a bowl along with chocolate and whipped cream and a bottle of champagne sitting in an ice bucket with two glasses next to it. Whoever had set this up had obviously been here to do it as they had been on their way home.

''You did this for me?''

She asked in awe as she knew JJ was behind her now. She felt arms wrap around her and join at her abdomen as JJ stepped in close and rested her chin on her shoulder.

''Yeah.''

''Why?''

''Because you're my wife and I love you. Because you deserve it. Because something very special to us was demeaned in this case and I think we deserve to get it back. Oh…and because you're hot and I want you naked in the next five minutes! That enough reasons?!''

Emily chuckled as her eyes still scanned the room. There were candles set out ready to be lit too. She felt a lump in her throat and pushed back a couple of overwhelmed but happy tears back as she turned in JJ's arms and kissed her for all she was worth.

''Before we go any further…I want to make a separate account, for you. So you know its there and that you never have to worry about anything…''

JJ shook her head lightly and put a finger over Emily's mouth to get her to stop talking.

''No Emily, I don't want that.''

''I want you to feel safe.''

''I am safe. We're safe. I don't need that. I won't ever need it.''

''Are you sure? I just want to do what's best for you JJ. That's all I care about.''

''Well, what's best for me right now is making love to you all night, so why don't we get that started, huh?''

Emily smirked as she started to forget about her bank plans and let JJ kiss her randomly and teasingly as she dropped the other bag she had barely realised she was still holding and snaked her hands onto the blonde's hips. She knew they had nothing to worry about, and even if anything did happen between them everything was legally taken care of anyway. But after seeing the things on this case she just wanted to make sure JJ felt like there could never be anyway that she would have to fight it out for what she deserved. But she was right, they didn't need that.

''Your wish is my command.''


	4. Demons

Spoilers/based around 'Demonology'

Disclaimer - Nothing belongs to me

Thank you - To everyone that reviewed again that was really cool

A/N - This is a bit different from the ones before because the introduction has been written by **DarkBard0**, who is an old friend of mine. She's the one the prodded me to write JJ/Em in the first place! But with the events in Demonology, when it came to this episode I asked for her to write me a little something because I know she could tap into the religion and feelings part better than me due to her own experiences. It was asking a lot, not for the writing but for the subject which isn't nice to stir but she did it anyway so major thanks to you lass. So the introduction has been written by her and you'll probably be able to tell when the writing changes!

XXXX

She stood there on the street with the stone of the church looming over her like it had loomed over her all her life. The stone smooth and strong but ultimately cold and solid. Unmovable. Emily had never had any room in her life for unmovable things.

It was ironic how something that was supposed to inspire faith and strengthen your spirit could deliver so much pain. Strike such a deep bitterness to the point you were often blinded by hate for its very foundations because you weren't only bitter and angry, you were terrified too. Terrified of what it had done to you. Terrified of what it had done to your soul. Just like she was.

Emily had always stood in its shadow despite her efforts to get away. The church had done nothing for her except make her childhood a lot harder than it should have been. It had abandoned her. God only gave out what people could handle? How exactly did a child handle her Father's domestic abuse? How did she handle knowing there was something different inside of her than all the other girls that she knew but was too afraid to say anything about it because she feared her religion? A religion she had been dragged into without a choice.

How did someone bare the weight of making not only a life changing mistake on her own part, but in doing so screwing up someone else's life. Ultimately Emily knew that she might not technically have ruined Matthew's life but she had provided his trigger. With his kind of addictive personality, with his kind of defiance he might well have triggered at some point. But they had been 15 years old and she knew she had done that to him. She had brought all the scorn she felt for god and the church and slammed it into him all because she had desperately wanted to fit in. Because she wanted to be normal because deep down as much as she hated him, she was fearful of gods wrath. So she had listened to John and let him convince her it would be okay. It had never been okay.

20 years older Emily had still never put right her feelings toward the church. Had buried as much as she was able to. But the rage was still there. The bitterness, the sorrow and the pain. Because it hurt like hell, having your faith ripped away from you. Even when you hated it for what it had done. It was like having your heart ripped out and your soul shredded. You lost something you immediately knew you could never get back. And even if you never wanted it back you still missed it somehow and you still mourned it. You still looked at priests and churches with a mixture of the two sides. You made excuses not to attend the religious ceremonies you were asked to attend. You adamantly refused to your Mother, after you had saved her from her abusive husband without any gratitude whatsoever, that you would not be attending masses or Sunday school.

Matthew Benton was Emily's darkest secret and she would never forgive what she had set in motion. Never would forgive herself for his demise. The pain of that was parallel to the pain of her stolen faith and robbed innocence. She had lived with it for 20 years and she would keep on living it because that was the cross she had to bear. He had never blamed her, not once. That's the kind of guy he was. Just so very troubled. What had they all done? Was this all of their punishments for being privileged? For being unfaithful? For being themselves? Living for themselves and taking their free will and directing it wherever they had pleased?

The church had turned its back on her a long time ago and Emily knew she was never getting over that. Because despite her mistakes she knew she had a good soul. She knew she was a good person. She was flawed like everyone was but wasn't that how people were supposed to be? She had been a child and she had needed help. But they hadn't used the fact that she had asked questions, or the fact that she'd had sex out of marriage, or the fact that she'd had an abortion even. No they'd got her on the sexual deviance. She'd been delivered an ultimatum. She could leave and never come back or they could make it official and ex communicate her which would of course bring high embarrassment to her family. Emily had turned her back on them like they had her and never looked back, but all the while carrying these weights on her shoulders, in her soul, in her heart.

20 years of keeping all of this inside was a long, long time. She felt weak. She felt drained. Her marriage had taken a hit over this she knew that. Her silence toward JJ and the fact she hadn't stepped foot in their house had been a mistake. She needed them now more than ever but she didn't know how to face them. She felt so guilty. What would they think of her now? How could Jennifer continue to love her now? That's why she had shut her out. It's why she had stayed away from home.

Dark eyes looked at the cold stone again as her heart twisted in infectious anger. She hated it so much and it was so painful to be that way. She would never get over it. How could she even be angry in something she didn't even believe in? To her god didn't exist. But she hated him anyway because he had been their excuse. He had been the reason she had been made to feel like an outcast, like someone unworthy of the things that Matthew began to make her see she was worthy of. Those same things that Jennifer made her feel like she was worthy of. She just hoped that those things were strong enough to stand this test because Emily had no idea what she would do if they weren't.

Breathing in slowly Emily dropped her eyes to the floor, tucking away her picture and wiping at her nose again. It still bled. She turned slowly away from the church, her eyes centered on the snow-covered ground beneath her feet. She was freezing. As she began to look up she blinked slowly, mouth dropping open slightly and her breath catching at what she saw in front of her. Or who she saw in front of her.

Leaning on her SUV which was parked up on the street, JJ stood silently in the snow, her hands in her coat pockets and her feet crossed as she just waited. From the snow on her Emily figured she had been standing out in it for at least 5 or 10 minutes. Had she really been stood here that long? It didn't matter. JJ just stood there like her guardian angel or something, silently watching over her as she endured this battle. Emily licked her lips slowly having no idea what to say. This was her wife and she had no idea what to say.

''How did you know I was here?''

She finally asked softly, her voice still overridden with emotion and vulnerability. It was a lame question but her mind was numb and her nose was still bleeding a little bit which made it ache a little.

''I've been following behind you for 30 minutes.''

JJ answered but never moved from her position. Emily gave a nod. Since John's house then. She must have arrived just as she had started walking. And she'd been trailing her to make sure she was okay. Waiting and watching patiently for her chance to make her presence known. A sob rose up into Emily's throat at that thought even though she tried to suppress it. Her body began to shake as she realised what she had done. Not only then but now. She pressed her lips together but it didn't work, she trembled as the tears rolled out of her eyes and she gave into the cries as JJ made her move and walked over to her and engulfed her strongly without hesitation. Instinctively Emily held on tightly. All of this had the potential to ruin her completely, to ruin what they had so completely. She knew now more than ever that it was time to be honest however much it hurt her. For JJ's sake and for Henry's sake. She had to show them her wounds, her flaws, her darkest ugly secrets.

''I'm so sorry. I'm so, so sorry.''

She shook in JJ's arms as she clung onto her like a child would, racked with the build up of every emotion that she had been locking in since she was 15 years old. It escaped her now in a heavy rush and she felt dizzy because of it, felt even more so weakened by its rapid outlet. She didn't try to stop it anymore, let herself cry and shake and sob and sniffle. JJ never loosened her grip until long minutes after as the crying had calmed down. She kept one hand on Emily's shoulder though and used the other to push some of her snow-dampened hair back, frowning as she saw the blood.

''You're bleeding.''

She pointed out in concern, eyebrows knitting together as she made a quick scan for any other damage. Emily nodded, yet again wiping the blood away from her.

''Oh, yeah. Whatever was in that water I guess.''

''I'm taking you to the hospital.''

Emily's stomach dipped and churned at the sheer thought of it. All that noise and all those bright lights. She couldn't deal with that, not now.

''No. No hospitals.''

''But…'''

''Please. I can't handle that right now. Please JJ.''

JJ hesitated for a moment as she debated with herself internally. But those eyes were begging her. Looking into them they were so exhausted, so conflicted and guilty and emotional. She looked into them and found that all the secrets that Emily had kept hidden in there had now been exposed and she was writhing over them.

''It's the hospital or home.''

She said eventually, fixing a firm look as she gave the choice. Her head and her heart were conflicting but JJ knew at least that either place Emily chose she would be taken care of there. It had been a hard few days and not having Emily at home had been excruciating. They had never been through anything like this and JJ had had no idea why her wife had shut her out so abruptly. Hadn't been able to understand why Emily wouldn't come home, wouldn't see their son. She was nervous now that she wouldn't even come with her. She had gained some understanding, in bits and pieces because of the case. But she desperately needed to hear it from Emily, all of it.

''Home.''

Relieved, JJ took Emily's hand and led her to the SUV. Opening up the door she helped her get inside before walking around and getting in behind the wheel. Glancing at Emily her stomach dipped at the despondent look in her eyes as she starred out of the windshield. She leaned over, reaching around her wife to get the seatbelt and pulled it around her. Once she had safely clipped it in she buckled her own and started up the engine. She glanced at Emily at every chance she could, the brunette had closed her eyes and was seemingly asleep, but whether she was or not JJ wasn't sure.

Upon arriving home JJ reached out and touched Emily's arm lightly. Her eyes opened, and satisfied that she was awake JJ got out even though Emily didn't make a move. She walked around and opened her door but again she just sat there.

''Emily?''

Emily took a shaky breath in, tears filling her eyes again as she looked at the house.

''I'm not sure I can go in there.''

She admitted in a broken whisper. Her eyes moved onto JJ guiltily, desperate for help. JJ looked at her for a moment and then held out her hand.

''I'm right here. Trust me.''

Emily blinked, letting soft tears roll down her face before she unbuckled her seatbelt and took JJ's hand. She held on tightly as she was lead up to the front door, where JJ unlocked it and walked her inside. She hesitated, as she looked around, the feeling almost alien to her. Did she belong here? It didn't feel like she belonged anywhere right now.

Wordlessly Emily let JJ take over. Let her lead her upstairs quietly. Let her lead her into the bathroom where she turned the shower on and began to peel the clothes away from her slowly after shedding her own coat. Let her ease her into the water. She left her there for a few minutes when she went into the bedroom to get some clothes. After making sure she was warmed up by the water and clean again, JJ pulled her out and dried her off before helping her to get dressed. Grey cotton pants with a light blue t-shirt and a grey Yale sweater. She tied her hair up and then took her hand again. Emily expected her to lead her to the bed but she didn't. She walked her out of the bedroom again and led her into Henry's room and right up to the crib.

Emily bit her lip as she looked at him sleeping. When she had left to meet John at the bar had been the last time she had seen Henry and it broke her heart that she had failed him so miserably. That night she hadn't dared go home. She had hidden away in JJ's office and cried, not just for Matthew, but in absolute terror about what her past was going to do as it came slamming into her present. As she thought about how exactly she explained any of this to JJ when she hadn't spoken about it to anyone for so long. She had avoided JJ as much as she could, avoided the looks and the concerned touches. Avoided the pleads to come home and the anger it had stirred when she had refused.

She had made her confession to Rossi and it had been like someone had stolen the air from her lungs. How was she supposed to face JJ and do that? Hotchner had told her to go home, to go and see her son and she hadn't. Rossi had told her that JJ had stood behind the glass of her interrogation and told him that she was worried about her. That she didn't know what to do and she was afraid that this was ripping her apart. Emily had stopped everything because of her fear and as she looked into her sons face she was devastated.

He needed her. She was his Mother and he needed her and she refused to be like them. Like her Father, her Mother, her religion. She refused to let them all break her like this. She could live with the pain and the bitterness and the sorrow. She could live with her actions if she had to. She had done already. And if Henry and JJ needed her to confess all she would confess all because she refused to walk away. She didn't want to see JJ look at her with the disappointment she felt in herself but for Henry she would take it.

''I…I will tell you everything.''

She stuttered softly, looking up sorrowfully at her watching spouse. JJ nodded, her blue eyes telling her that she already knew that.

''Sleep first.''

Emily nodded, letting JJ take her hand again. They moved back into the bedroom and the blonde shut the door before moving over to the dresser to get changed. Emily inched into the bed, feeling suddenly very small and uncertain. She watched JJ as she got in and swallowed a lump of relief as she put her arms around her tightly.

The next thing Emily knew was that it was light. She woke up slowly her head thick and confused. As she came around opening her eyes slowly she realised that she was at home. She was warm in bed but thoroughly exhausted and she winced a little as she remembered everything from the past few days. A lump in her throat formed as she sighed sleepily wondering what time it was and turning toward the clock. It was almost lunchtime, JJ had let her sleep. She wasn't in bed with her anymore. Emily knew JJ would have been up to take care of Henry and another surge of guilt and remorse hit her hard enough to cause a wave of nausea. She put her hand on her stomach letting her eyes drift there momentarily. How did she tell her?

Her mouth was dry and she felt dehydrated. Forcing herself to sit up Emily blinked as she looked around the room and reached out for the orange juice that had been placed on her nightstand. She drank it in once go appreciative of the taste and the chance to quench her thirst. She could hear the street outside and grimaced lightly. Looking at her hands she seemed pale and Emily knew she probably looked the part on her face too. She had stopped functioning, her emotion taking hold of her and driving her all this time. Her fear. Coughing lightly she checked her nose but there was no blood anymore. At a sound from the door Emily looked up to see JJ pushed it open with her foot. She had two mugs in one hand and Henry in the other, her face close to his head as he looked around alertly with his dummy in his mouth.

''Here she is look.''

JJ whispered just barely enough for Emily to catch. She gulped again, looking at them, the most important people in her life. She felt like she was going to be sick. But she pushed that feeling down because she needed to be here for them now.

''I made you some tea.''

JJ said as she put the mugs down on the nightstand, before picking her own and walking around to her side of the bed and shifting onto it so she was sat up against the headboard. Emily looked at her timidly before dropping her eyes, shifting up not quite as high as JJ but enough.

''Thanks.''

She took the tea and wrapped her hands around it glad to have something to hold especially since it was so warm. She looked at JJ again who was fussing with Henry, placing him between them so he was comfortable. He sat up, chubby little arms and legs flailing slightly as he bounced and cooed around his dummy as he gripped onto one of his favourite toys. A little bunny rabbit Emily had seen out in Ohio when JJ had been pregnant. Seeing him with it made her heart flip. He looked up at her, sweet little eyes so unaware, looking so adorable in his little baby dungarees that were dark blue, a little white t-shirt underneath. He held the bunny up to her like he knew she needed something to anchor her right now. She smiled as she took the bunny gently, moving to stroke the fine little hairs on his head.

''Thanks buddy.''

She whispered gently. She watched him for another second then lifted her eyes up toward JJ who had been watching her. She felt guilty for shutting JJ out. For telling the blonde that she couldn't talk to her when JJ had asked her to because she didn't know what to say to her right then. She had seen the whiplash of pain in JJ's eyes and she wished she had never caused that.

''I'm sorry, JJ. I really am.''

''What happened, Emily?''

Emily let out a breath, still keeping her hand on Henry as she swallowed hard, wondering where to start.

''I erm…''

She pushed out a breath again, struggling around her words and trying to stop herself from breaking so she could talk.

''I was 15, and we were living in Rome. My erm…my Mother was posted there? And there were a few American kids there with parents that she worked with? We moved around so much…and things at home? I made a mistake. I wanted to fit in. I wanted to shut everything out.''

She sniffled lightly, moving her hand to wipe away a couple of errand tears.

''I knew I was different…but it was too much. I was so, so scared. I was so confused. The church already frowned at me…I asked too many questions. And when I asked god for help I got nothing. When I asked for help…when I asked my priest for help with my Father…he didn't believe me. And it hurt so much. I realised everything I had been taught to believe in was a lie. I was so lost I didn't know what to do. So I let John…I let him convince me that he could make it better. That he could help me fit in and help me. So I slept with him.''

Taking a shaky breath in Emily lifted her head upward as she tried to reign in her emotions, sniffling as she let the tears fall this time. She knew she was shaking, knew that JJ was watching her. She still felt sick and it was physically hurting her to say this but she had to endure it she knew that. But she couldn't look at JJ right this second. So she gathered herself first, breathing deeply in controlled efforts before she ran her tongue over her lips and looked down again.

''He lied to me too. It was Matthew that helped me. I had never felt worthy of anything until he made me believe I was. Even when I got pregnant. I had no idea what to do and so we went to our priest. I have no idea why I thought he'd help he never had before. He said if I had an abortion I wouldn't be welcome in the congregation anymore. I was so scared. I knew I couldn't tell my Mother…and if my Father found out he'd kill me. So erm…so Matthew helped me. He erm…he found somewhere just outside of Rome, and we went there together. He held my hand.''

Emily looked at Henry again, barely managing not to just break down again.

''You got an abortion.''

Emily nodded slowly as she sniffled.

''Yeah, I got an abortion. And Matthew led me back into that church and he stood his ground with our priest. That's when he lost his faith. It hadn't been ripped away from him like it had been from me. I took it from him after he saw what the church had done to me. After he watched me get threatened when they found out I was gay. He was so angry JJ. He started to question anything. That's when he started with the drugs. I never meant for that to happen I didn't. I tried to help him but he wouldn't let me. I ruin his life. I all but ruined mine. And I…I hate them so much that it hurts to carry it. They abandoned me when I needed them and I had to fight my own demons alone. I had to protect myself and my Mother a year later when enough was finally enough because they didn't believe he could hurt us like that. I needed them and they turned away from me.''

This time Emily couldn't stop the tears or the sobs. She let herself break down as the whole thing came out of her for JJ to know and to see. She hadn't looked at her since she had spoken, not daring to look up and see what was in her eyes. Shame, contempt, disappointment. Emily didn't want to see it. Didn't think she was strong enough to see it not from those eyes. So she flinched when JJ touched her but didn't pull away. The blonde cupped her hand along the side of her face with her fingers weaving into hair and leant forward to connect the sides of their faces, nuzzling the emotional brunette gently as she cried. Emily sobbed harder for the touch, somehow knowing it was an act of absolution. Something she had been searching for for a very long time.

''I couldn't…it's been 20 years…I've been carrying it for 20 years and I didn't want to see the look on your face when you found out so I shut you out. I was so guilty and terrified and ashamed that I shut you both out because I couldn't see how you could love me after you found out. I couldn't face Henry because of what I did.''

She muttered through her tears, shaky breaths racking her lungs as she tried to breath in and out to at least calm herself down a little.

''Look at me.''

Emily shook her head.

''I can't.''

''Emily, look at me.''

JJ insisted firmly. She drew back her head as she slipped her hand under Emily's chin and softly urged her to look up. Her wife drew in another breath and looked up, eyes red and full of tears and fear. She looked so broken that JJ wanted to cry too. Her own eyes glistened as she looked right into Emily's eyes showing her exactly what she felt for her. Which was what she had always felt for her. Love, respect, passion, and so many other things she wasn't sure how to put it into words.

''I told you, I'm right here. I'm not turning away from you. There is nothing you can say that will make me do that, Emily. I love you so much and I'm so sorry you had to go through that alone. Then and now. But remember this?''

She took Emily's hand and put it over her heart letting her feel how steady and strong it was.

''I believe in you. No matter what, I believe in you. You are so worthy of everything, trust me on that. I love you for who you are, because you're beautiful inside and out. And it only makes me love you more knowing what you had to go through. You're the strongest person I know, and strength doesn't always have to be perfect. You can cry and you can be damaged and you can make mistakes. What matters is how you move on, how you live. And look at how you live. You help so many people, you open yourself up to all this depravity to do that and you still smile. You still come home and do the dishes, put the laundry in, do the nappy patrol…all the day-to-day things. You come home and you love me and you love your son. All with that on your shoulders? I love you for that. I always will. But I'm right here Emily. You don't have to do anything alone anymore, I'm right here and I'm not going anywhere. You did what you had to do. I would have done the same.''

Emily breathed in deeply letting her eyes drift closed for a moment as she felt JJ's heartbeat under her chest. She didn't know quite what she had done to deserve this kind of woman but she thanked her lucky stars for it. She let the dizziness sweep over her as she felt much of that weight lift from her shoulders in one fell swoop as she listened to JJ's words that resonated deeply within her. She never thought she would gain any type of absolution. Never thought she would accept it. But she realised she wanted it, and JJ was giving to her in abundance even if she didn't realise it. She was right of course she didn't have to do these things alone anymore. Emily knew she was so damn stubborn that she was sure she would but on the whole she knew it was okay to share these things with JJ. To talk to her about it so she could get it out. The blonde couldn't take her pain away of the betrayal she had been burnt with by the church. That was too deep and old and it would never go away. But she was there to listen and to support. She had JJ to make sure she didn't slip under the water and she would always do the same for her.

JJ leant in and placed a soft but deep and meaningful kiss on Emily's lips and could taste the salt of her tears. The kiss opened up slowly as things were shared that couldn't be spoken in words and that connection became stronger than ever. When it was over Emily managed to smile and it was reflected by JJ who watched as Emily put the tea back down onto the nightstand and shuffled up again before using both of her hands to wrap around Henry and lift him up onto her. She would never know what would have happened if she hadn't had gone to that Doctor in Italy. But deep down she knew she had done the right thing. She couldn't keep looking back to that, especially every time she looked at Henry. She had to let that part go.

''And you my gorgeous little man…I won't be disappearing on you again. Ever.''

She swooped Henry forward and kissed him a couple of times and he chuntered around his dummy as his hands patted onto her face making her laugh.

''I'm going to make us some breakfast…I'm not even sure when you last remembered to eat so don't even think about telling me you aren't hungry.''

JJ warned lightly as she stood up from the bed. Emily looked up at her with her eyes because she couldn't move due to Henry sprawling all over her with his face right next to hers now.

''I'm starving.''

She replied sweetly and dutifully making JJ chuckle as she walked out of the room. It would take some time but at least for now she had gotten it out and she was back home where she belonged.

The next day, given that Hotch had insisted they have a few days off, found Emily watching the baby as JJ went out to do some errands and drop by the store after she'd had lunch with Jordan Todd. Her wife had mentioned that she was worried about the other Agent after bumping into her in the hallways at work and seeing that Jordan hadn't quite managed to shake off her experience from the BAU and JJ was determined to get her to talk and make her realise that she had done great and was a very good Agent.

Emily had already taken Henry to the park making sure he was wrapped up because it was still chilly due to the snow the other day. She had received lots of looks from passers by that obviously found him adorable and when they had gone into a café by the park to get a warm drink and Emily had had him on her knee with him eagerly taking his bottle an old lady had come up and gushed over him giving her the opportunity to be one of those 'look at my baby he's the best on earth' type Mother's. She'd enjoyed that a lot. The old lady had even taken a picture for her.

Now she was jiggling Henry about in her arms making him squeal in laughter as she bounced around to the radio singing along to the song merrily watching his face curl in laughter and unadulterated happiness. As the doorbell rang she continued to bounce her way to the door, obviously stopping her singing though as she held Henry in one arm at her side and opened the door with the other. She blinked in surprise when she saw the man standing there, hands shoved in pockets nervously.

''John.''

He smiled faintly at her.

''Hey, Emily. I'm sorry to just drop by, I hope you don't mind.''

Emily shook her head and that wave of feeling hit her that she'd had outside the bar the other night. It had been a long time since they had seen each other and she'd had no idea what to say to him. She still wasn't too sure what to say to him now to be honest.

''No, it's fine. Come in.''

He smiled a thank you as he stepped into the house, hands still in his pockets as he looked around briefly at his surroundings.

''Nice house.''

''Thanks. I was just in the kitchen, why don't you come through. I'll get us some coffee.''

He nodded and she led the way back through the house and into the kitchen. She moved to the radio to turn it down and then turned around to face him, hesitating for a second as he did the same. After a moment he smiled and gestured toward Henry.

''So who's this?''

She looked at the baby still content in sitting in her arm. Instinctively her hand moved up to rub his back gently.

''This is my son, Henry.''

''Wow, your son. Congratulations. He's adorable.''

''Thanks.''

He nodded awkwardly.

''So, how do you take your coffee?''

''Black is fine, thanks.''

Emily nodded glad of something to occupy her with. Well skilled at having Henry in her arm as she went about doing things she organized two mugs and poured out the coffee from the pot. She used to take her coffee with milk and sugar, but after she started to date JJ she had just adapted to taking it however JJ took it at the time which was always different. Black was fine for her too right now. Taking hold of them both she turned and walked to the breakfast island where she put them down again, pushing one over to John who perched on one of the stools.

''Thank you. So, you're married now?''

He gestured toward her ring and she nodded lightly. She guessed he mustn't have noticed during the last couple of days, the rings had always been there.

''I thought…I mean I heard…''

Emily knew what he was trying to say.

''Her name is JJ. She's an Agent too.''

She gestured toward a picture and he turned to it studying the image of a goofy picture of one long haired blonde and Emily leaning back to back both holding paintball guns in an almost Charlie's Angels pose. The blonde was beautiful but it didn't surprise him.

''That's great, Emily. I'm happy for you.''

''Thanks.''

He cleared his throat looking back toward Henry for a moment who was gazing at him speculatively before he looked up at Emily again.

''I just wanted to thank you again. For saving my life. I was so terrified. Never been so scared in my life, actually.''

He confessed softly.

''I was scared too.''

''Really?''

''Yeah. I didn't want you to get hurt. It was bad enough thinking of Matthew dying like that. I didn't want that for you too.''

He let out a breath, almost in relief as he ran a hand over his face and through his hair.

''I thought…I thought after what I did…maybe I deserved it.''

''No one deserves that John. We were kids…none of us knew any better.''

''You always did. You were always different. Me and Matthew we always knew. We saw how you saw into people, how you experienced the world. I'm sorry I added to your pain, Emily, I really am.''

Emily nodded, looking down for a moment as she breathed in. John was looking for absolution too.

''I forgive you. And I forgive myself.''

She whispered deeply. He looked at her as she looked up; the truth and sincerity in her eyes and his filled with unshed tears as he breathed in deeply. They just stood there for a moment looking at each other seeing the kids they used to be and the difference 20 years made. Saw the never dealt with pain and regret and guilt come to an end as they mutually closed the chapter so they could let it go. It was kind of cathartic and something that on this level they could only give each other. It had happened between them, after all.

''Can I…I mean would you mind?''

John pointed toward Henry, his eyebrows lifting in an unspoken question to hold him. Emily smiled, moving around the island and carefully handed over her son into John's arms. She smirked as the boy she once knew now looked at her boy smiling at him as he held him in one arm and took his little hand between his fingers gently.

''Hey little guy, how you doin'?''

Emily smirked as she moved to her coffee again picking up and sipping at it as she watched Henry look at John curiously and babbled from around his dummy, his hands pressing into him and patting his face in exploration like he tended to do. John laughed lightly just letting the baby adapt to him.

''I think JJ is home.''

Emily mused as she heard the front door unlock and open. A second later she heard the familiar sounds of her wife's laugh, and a warm feeling settled into her stomach. There was another voice however that JJ was responding to and she waited for the blonde to make her way into the kitchen. She was mid sentence when she realised that Emily wasn't alone and slowed down as she walked in, Jordan behind her. John stood up a little nervously again.

''Hey. Erm…JJ this is John Cooley. John this is my wife and our friend Jordan Todd.''

John cleared his throat as he shuffled forward to hold out a hand politely. JJ put the grocery bag she was carrying into one arm and shook it politely.

''Nice to meet you John.''

''You too, you have a really nice house.''

Emily bit her lip at his lame nervous compliment but thought it was kind of funny and sweet all the same. JJ smiled warmly and as diplomatically as ever as John and Jordan nodded toward one another in greeting.

''Thank you.''

JJ made her way to the counter and put her bag down; turning to take the one Jordan had to put it next to it. She turned around to Emily as she gave Jordan a welcome hug and gave her a soft kiss.

''Did you remember my peanut butter?''

Emily enquired making JJ roll her eyes but smirk.

''Yes Emily, I remembered your precious peanut butter!''

She drawled, shaking her head at Emily's obsession with the stuff. Personally she hated the stuff but there was no accounting for taste. She looked at Emily using their silent language, asking her if she was okay. The brunette smiled, showing JJ that she was burying the hatchet and so was John. Understanding, JJ turned around and smiled at John.

''Would you like to stay for dinner, John? Jordan's joining us too it'd be great if you could stay and join us.''

She offered politely. She didn't mind him being here if Emily was okay with it. She didn't feel threatened by him being here and though she thought that his actions back then had been wrong she remembered that they had been kids and that obviously he was trying to make it right now. Emily was open to that so she would support that too.

''That'd be great, thank you.''

The evening had turned out to be a good one. Henry had loved being the centre of attention for quite some time, content to be passed around the four adults before Emily went off to feed him and put him down for the night. Jordan and John got on extremely well which made JJ tease their friend a little bit, and Emily seemed to be doing a lot better. She could still see the whole of the experience behind her eyes, but she was laughing and joining in telling stories and enjoying the conversations that after the first awkward start had turned into like they did this all the time and that John had been there all along. It was a good start.

That night, unlike the previous two, Emily had slept soundly in JJ's arms who had stayed awake to make sure she didn't cry in her sleep like the night before.


	5. Alarm

Disclaimer - Nothing belongs to me

Continuing with the episodes. This is from 'Omnivore'.

''Hey, he sleepy yet?''

Emily looked up from watching her son look around inquisitively as her wife's voice drifted softly from the direction of the doorway of the en suite bathroom to their bedroom. It was dark out now and the room was lit softly with side lamps and there was some soft music that JJ had put on just a little earlier on low. Emily had already gotten dressed for bed in a white t-shirt and light blue cotton pants her hair tied up into a loose ponytail. Henry sat up in her right arm one hand holding onto a clump of her t-shirt by her shoulder as the other tangled with some of her hair. He was definitely sleepy his heavy sighs in way of breathing told her that he was starting to drift but desperately trying to fight it. He was too inquisitive for his own good wanting to know what was going on even though it actually wasn't all that interesting. All they were doing was getting ready for bed themselves but Henry didn't want to give up the fight that was for sure. The one time Emily had tried to put him down in his crib he had fussed causing her to pick him up again and hold him to her. He was much more content and so she had been talking to him in whispers trying to lull him into sleep.

''He's almost there.''

The brunette replied gently as Henry looked at JJ from across the room. The blonde leant her shoulder onto the doorway as she continued to brush her teeth.

''He was such a little heartthrob today. Had flocks of women after him.''

She informed as her smirk turned into a full-blown smile at the memory of her son having so many girls swoon over him. All she had done was take him to lunch with her for some little one on one time. Annette had an appointment over lunchtime so JJ had decided to take some extra time on her lunch hour to take Henry whilst Annette went to her appointment, and she had handed up at an outdoor café near one of the parks seeing as it was sunny and Henry loved the park so much. It had started with one lady. An older lady that had fawned over him and said he reminded her of her own son when he was that age.

''Flocks huh? I thought we were partners boy, I don't let her dress you in anything embarrassing and you don't draw other women to her to get swept off her feet, it was kind of a simple deal Henry!''

Emily asked as he looked at her son again with a raised eyebrow in mock offense and exasperation. Henry looked at her again with sleepy but sparkling blue eyes and a cute expression on his face that was there simply because he knew she was giving him her attention. He squeaked from the back of his throat lightly as he continued to suck on his dummy and Emily smiled as she kissed his forehead gently.

''Very funny. It was really cute though and he was the perfect gentleman. It started out with one little old lady and ended up being half the café! I got offered four numbers, so I know what the key to finding another woman is if you ever left me!''

JJ teased lightly chuckling as she thought back to the eventful lunchtime. It had been quite amusing actually. Girl after girl had taken interest in her son with some of them then taking interest in her. That particular café was rather known for being frequented by lesbians, which wasn't why she had gone. It was just in a prime place and she had been nearby and she liked the food. She went with Emily a lot, more so when they had been dating. It had been interesting to say the least at getting hit on and although she was very flattered and at one time in her life, pre-Emily, she would have gladly taken those numbers and used them. But she had rebuffed every one of them of course; she had what she had always been looking for standing right in front of her.

''That's nice, Jennifer!''

Emily scoffed indignantly giving her an off look that only made JJ stick her tongue out at her before she disappeared back into the bathroom for a moment to rinse her mouth out.

''No more snagging Mommy potential dates, okay? Or I let her pick out heinous clothes that will scar you for life little man!''

Emily negotiated as she watched Henry's eyes begin to droop. As they did his head began to droop a little too only to have him lift it up and open his eyes again. But within seconds he began to droop again. After another couple of attempts to stay awake inevitably he lost the battle. His eyes and head drooped again and his head came to rest on her shoulder his little body more or less limp in her arm now as he fell into a deep slumber. Her other hand lifted up to stroke the back of his head as she held him safely and lovingly.

''Good boy.''

She whispered lightly before turning her head ever so slightly to kiss him again. Emily looked up again as JJ came out of the bathroom all ready for bed now in shorts and a vest with her hair tied up too. Emily gestured to the sleeping baby and the blonde smiled lightly as she came up to them.

''Here, can you go put him down?''

Emily asked lightly as she gently moved him as to pass him to JJ. The younger woman took him easily and Henry just happily swapped his human pillow, his head burying into JJ's shoulder and clutching her vest. She held him protectively as she frowned slightly in concern and curiosity at her wife.

''You okay?''

She asked as she watched Emily roll her neck and wince slightly as she circled her arms and tried to stretch and knead out the lumps that she had formed there.

''Just tense, I guess.''

JJ nodded. It had only been a short time since Emily's collision with her past, with the death of her childhood friend and the attempted murder of John Cooley. Since she had had to revisit a very painful time for her. She had talked to her more about it which JJ was pleased about. And although she had been more of herself lately Emily was still a bit quiet at work and was still carrying things on her shoulders and shuffling about in her sleep like she couldn't properly relax. So JJ wasn't surprised that she had knots in her neck and shoulders.

''Lie down, I'll be back in a minute and help you work those kinks out.''

Emily murmured softly in agreement and watched JJ take Henry out of their room toward his own. She sighed softly and moved toward the bed and flopped down on it with a small groan. She had hit the gym pretty hard today and that probably hadn't helped before she had gotten the other stress out of her body first. She knew she had been tense as she was working through what was left behind of what happened and sharing painful memories with JJ. She had been spending all the time she could with her wife and son, checking out of work on time to make sure she did. She was thankful that JJ had been there for her, again. It seemed like they had been going through a lot lately, it wasn't particularly unusual. It's not like they hadn't gone through things before. Maybe everything was that bit more intense because of Henry? Her issues with her parents had cropped up from a case but also because she was terrified she could do to him what they had done to her. And JJ had had difficulty with how to deal with coming back to work and also had her own family issues. Emily wasn't sure why it seemed different now but it did. But they were a family and that's how they were handling things.

''He's out like a light.''

Emily lifted her head off the bed slightly to see JJ closing the door.

''Good, he obviously had a big day. God, what are we going to do when he's a teenager and we have love smitten teenage girls beckoning at our door?''

JJ cringed but chuckled lightly.

''Good god I hope he doesn't grow up that fast.''

She mused as she patted Emily to get her to move into the middle of the bed. As she did JJ moved to kneel onto it and made a circling motion with her hand in gesture to get Emily to turn onto her front. With a little roll of her eyes and a huff Emily did as instructed though she did get a like whack for silently calling JJ bossy, which the blonde knew she had been.

''It's hard to think of him as anything but a baby. But the truth is he's already grown so much already. Which I know he's supposed to and it's a good sign and everything, but it only goes to show that no matter what he'll grow up.''

''I know and in one way it really sucks but in another its really exciting. Take your shirt off.''

JJ pulled on the bottom of Emily's t-shirt in encouragement because she couldn't really do much when it was still on her. Emily pulled it off and tossed it aside quickly and then went back to her previous comfortable position. JJ straddled her carefully and leant forward slightly and made contact with the brunette's shoulders.

''Jesus, you really are tense.''

She agreed as she began to knead the knotted muscles beneath her hands. Instantly as she did Emily sighed slowly and in relief.

''Thank you.''

She murmured quietly but sincerely.

''For what?''

''I dunno. Everything? Being there for me all the time, loving me even. Just…thank you.''

JJ smiled softly leaning further down to place a soft kiss on the back of Emily's neck.

''Well thank _you_.''

She whispered before sitting up again. She began to get lost in the motions her hands made along Emily's skin as she concentrated on the muscles beneath. She worked all along her back and her shoulders, on her neck and down her arms, right at the small of her back. She liked the simple intimacy of the contact and was happy to feel the knots give way under the pressure and movement she put on them and she felt Emily's entire body relax. At one point she thought Emily might have fallen asleep but then she'd make a noise or a movement that told her she wasn't.

''Em?''

''Yeah?''

''Turn around.''

The beyond relaxed brunette took in a deep breath and turned around compliantly beneath her wife. As she looked up at the blonde she saw a familiar sparkle in deep blue eyes that made her smile ever so softly as JJ leant over her to place kisses along the side of her neck. Her head automatically moved to the side to give her better access as she felt everything inside of her come to life.

''This a full service massage?''

She quipped gently receiving a soft nip for her troubles but a nod too. JJ lifted her head up and leant over Emily to look her in the eye.

''You know I'm not going to get swept off my feet right? You already did that. You know that's it, right?''

Emily lifted her hand up to tuck some of JJ's errant strands of hair back before stroking down the side of her face gently.

''I do.''

JJ nodded lightly.

''Good. So, where were we?''

A softly mischievous and loving smile appeared on her face as she whispered suggestively, gazing down at Emily's mouth before lowering her head to capture it with her own. In the back of her head she knew Emily didn't worry about other women, just like she didn't. But sometimes it was something she liked to make sure of out loud. And after recent events she figured now was as good a time as any. She really loved her life with Emily and Henry. Everything worked, they were in tune and even the stress of the job and raising a baby didn't put them off. They worked it out. It's what they did. And even when they bickered or argued it got itself worked out. JJ couldn't imagine anything but this and right now she couldn't think of anything she wanted more than to do than to make love with her wife before drifting off to sleep in her arms.

The morning after had been just as chaotically normal as ever. Henry had woken up fussy and a little grumpy. One minute he wanted something and the next he was pushing it away. That included his two Mother's, which ended up in him being passed between them for most of the morning. They took turns in having him and as one did the other took the opportunity to get ready as quickly as humanly possible. After JJ had gotten dressed, and Emily pointed out she had stolen her shirt, she took her son to let Emily get ready, as Henry had started to get fussy with the brunette. It had taken a lot of smooth taking and coaxing around, including stupid little songs and many humiliating dances moves and expressions, but JJ had finally managed to make Henry laugh and break his mood. One happier baby made for an easier baby to feed, wash and dress. And after goodbyes were said the pair had been waved off by Henry with Annette as they left for work. With coffee in travel mugs and a breakfast snack to be had at work considering they really hadn't had the opportunity to sit down for breakfast this morning due to the lateness of getting Henry ready.

So it left JJ a little short after she was abruptly told by Hotchner to watch out for 'strange' cases in Boston. After hitting bases with Garcia she had found out their boss had kept her behind last night and asked her to go over something from a newspaper ten years ago but JJ wasn't too sure what it was about yet exactly. So it ticked her off even more when she had given Hotch the case and he had given her no answers but had insisted on leaving as he walked away from her without explanation. So with that being that, they were headed to Boston.

As they finished their briefing on the plane JJ walked to the back with her file still in hand to let Annette know that they were going to Boston. Hopefully it wouldn't be too long until they caught this guy but he sounded pretty full on. An unsub with the will power to stop killing for 10 years wasn't going to be an easy guy to catch she knew that for sure. And she was worried about the Boston police on this one and whether she would be able to hold back the press for them. She would do her best but like she said if the media found out about the deal they would be all over it and there would be nothing she could do.

It wasn't just that that was worrying her though. Something was different. She couldn't put her finger on it but something seemed so ominous about this case. Whether it was just because she was worried about Henry or getting vibes from Hotch and his even more serious attitude she didn't know. But something wasn't right.

''Here.''

JJ blinked and a coffee mug came into her line of sight. She reached up and took it gratefully and as she took a sip she looked up at Emily and followed her as she moved to sit down opposite her.

''We'll be landing soon so thought we could both use the kick.''

The brunette explained as she glanced out of the window. JJ nodded and took a gulp well aware of the time restriction hanging over their heads to when they reached the airstrip.

''Does something seem…off to you?''

The blonde enquired softly as not to be heard by anyone else. Emily looked at her again thoughtfully.

''Off?''

''I just have a feeling that something isn't quite right.''

Emily looked at her for a long moment as though she was seriously weighing up the consideration and trying to see if she felt it too. Finally she took in a short breath before letting it out again.

''I feel uneasy that's for sure.''

JJ just nodded lightly.

''Yeah I'm sure it's nothing. Just a bad case I guess.''

Emily nodded too and took another long drink of her coffee. Soon enough they were landing and the couple said goodbye as they went their separate ways.

An hour or so later Emily stood back from the details on the board. With her hands on her hips she studied everything old and new, traced each photograph and took in all the details she could. She knew it would be only a matter of time before JJ and the others got back bringing the lead Detective and the onslaught would really begin. The pace would have to be fast before the public began to realise that this man was the same man that had terrorized them years ago. And they had to try and make sure that the media didn't catch wind of this letter. She was sure her wife would be briefing the department on exactly what they could and couldn't say soon enough. It would be a lot of pressure on JJ to constantly hold the press in the palm of her hand and make sure nothing reached their ears, effectively making it so she would have to monitor them as closely as she could.

''Anything jumping out?''

Morgan asked as he stepped up beside her to look at the board.

''Urgh, I wish. This one's gunna be rough.''

She grimaced as she mused. They all knew it already.

''Yeah it is.''

He agreed. Emily sighed slowly and ran a hand through her hair slowly as Rossi came along to join them.

''You know, I was _really_ hoping that an extremely grumpy and fussy baby would be the only difficulty of my day.''

She admitted almost whimsically as she shook her head a little, eyeing the board up with narrowed eyes. The guys looked between one another momentarily, amused by her pissed off look like she was going to swipe this unsub upside the head when they caught him for annoying her so much.

''Is that why you guys went straight for the coffee this morning?''

Morgan asked clearly trying not to chuckle. Emily nodded as she looked at them again.

''Pretty much. This morning basically came down to taking shifts with Henry until he got sick of one of us and cried for the other, so getting ready was pretty much done on the fly! JJ managed to cheer him up before we left.''

''He's not normally so grumpy, what you do to him?''

Rossi hassled lightly in jest.

''Nothing! He went to sleep late is all, kept fighting off sleep to see if anything interesting was happening.''

Morgan raised an eyebrow immediately.

''And did anything _interesting _happen?''

Immediately Emily dropped her jaw and scoffed as she hit her friend in the stomach and glowered at him making Rossi laugh.

''Perv.''

After the momentary break it was back to business. And that went for the unsub too, as it turned out.

''I had a sit down with Hotch's reporter friend just now.''

Emily looked up from looking at her notes as she sat up in the bed at the hotel. She watched as JJ shed her jacket and sighed before unbuckling her belt to slide it out as to get her holstered gun and place it onto the nightstand.

''He offered him full access to the unit in trade for not leaking the deal.''

''Access to the BAU? Really?''

JJ nodded as she began to pace the room.

''It's not something we should offer, but I don't see any choice. If the public knows about that deal all hell would break loose. But if a reporter gets the chance to go digging around in our unit…well we all know we have skeletons in our closet that we don't want in print.''

She rambled worriedly. There were quite a few problems with this offer. Professionally and personally. But she really didn't see how else he could be dissuaded from running the story about the deal. It was something she knew she couldn't pass up if she was a reporter; he was just doing his job. But it was essential that they kept the public calm when they went about catching this guy. And the whole department didn't deserve to get crucified for one man's decision.

''Hey, it'll be okay. We'll deal with it, okay?''

Emily shuffled off the bed and approached her wife slowly and cautiously knowing that she was really mad and conflicted right now. She knew what JJ was worried about. Their department had its fair share of secrets. Elle's shooting, Reid's drug addiction, Gideon's unraveling and a few more of course. What they had done for one another. Procedures they had broken. Not to mention rules. And if Emily were to take a guess as to who the biggest rule breakers were in their team, she would put her money on herself and JJ. That reporter could have a lot to say if he found out personal things, oh say for example two primary teams Agent's being married with a baby. That little piece of information she didn't want broadcasting either. Plus she didn't think a reporter had the right to go snooping in their files and take a look at what they did and how they did it. It was their work and it set a precedent for trades with other reporters, which would only make JJ's job even harder.

''How about you lie down and I give you the massage this time?''

Under Emily's genuinely sweet look and offer JJ's mood relented and she sighed slowly. She really would have taken Emily up on the offer if her phone hadn't rung first. She knew what it would be and she wasn't surprised as Rossi informed her about the new murders.

''I guess it'll have to wait. The unsub shot up a bus, 7 bodies including the driver.''

Another round of clothes and they were on their way having no idea that a Detective would die and their friend would be in the scopes of a relentless narcissistic killer. It was lucky that Morgan was knocked out because otherwise they would have been watching him be but into a body bag rather than watching glass being taken out of his shoulder. JJ had made a press statement to announce the death of a decorated police Detective after the notification of his family. They were always one of the hardest aspects of her job. Everything was so fast from there on out. The theories at the table and figuring out their unsub was their victim. It was difficult to process that a man they had all tried hard to protect was the killer but they had to move quickly.

In the end they had caught their man. JJ had given another press announcement and finally they had been able to make their way home. The plane ride was quiet with everyone subdued and thoughtful. Still getting back to the offices began to see just a little life in everyone as they started to make conversation. JJ excused herself to go into her office and finish off some work before they left for the night.

When she picked up her phone she had no idea that she was going to be hit with the news that would feel like she had been rammed with a truck. He escaped. The man that had waited 10 years and plotted this entire scenario, the man that had left Derek with a bullet and taken his credentials like he had taken other things from victims had escaped. The man that now knew who they were. And he was free and there was absolutely nothing they could do about it.

''Do you need some help?''

JJ turned around from the kitchen stove to look at an anxious Penelope Garcia. She smiled lightly seeing that her friend had the jitters and gestured toward the cupboard.

''Sure, you could get the cups out.''

Garcia nodded and shuffled over to the cupboard to take out four mugs. JJ stirred the milk gently before adding the chocolate powder into it to mix in and heat up.

''I think Henry is enjoying the fuss.''

Garcia mused gently as she stood next to JJ.

''I just left Emily and Derek bickering like an old married couple over what he's going to play when he's older. Football or basketball.''

She added which made JJ scoff lightly.

''That kid is playing soccer and she knows it!''

Garcia laughed lightly and was quite thankful that she had the opportunity to. Ever since the breaking news she hadn't been able to think straight. Especially knowing that her burning hot chocolate stud muffin could be in danger.

''Jayj? How'd you deal with this all of the time? I don't even know if I'll be able to sleep tonight I'm so scared.''

Turning the stove off JJ turned to Garcia and drew in a breath but paused for a moment as she thought. No one ever really asked how she or anyone else coped with this kind of thing.

''The honest answer? I really don't know. I guess…I guess the danger doesn't really occur to me. Until something like this happens and then I'm forced to remember just how dangerous our job is. But…you have to remember that we're good at what we do. And we're trained to deal with this, okay? Derek is going to be fine, he knows how to protect himself I promise you that. We're going to find him, at some point we will and he won't get away from us again. Until then we have to get on with our lives, we have to do our jobs and keep doing what we do. If we start living in fear he wins.''

JJ tucked a strand of her friends hair behind her ear before stepping forward and wrapping her arms around her. She knew she was scared. Right now they were all scared. But that's exactly what he wanted and JJ for one wasn't prepared to let him win over them on that respect. They would all have to be careful and look out for things but they could and would get him. Sometimes catching serial killers was more of a marathon than a sprint.

''Remember you can call us at anytime and we'll be right there. And you can stay here anytime you want, okay?''

Garcia nodded as she breathed in deeply. JJ made a lot of sense and she was right about him winning if she started to unravel. Tonight they could be worried and startled and not be able to sleep. They would play with Henry until he fell asleep and drink hot chocolate and try to comfort each other. And tomorrow they would have to go to work and do what they were supposed to do.

It would take more than one man to make them fall apart. They were a team and they kicked ass. They would get him and he knew it.


	6. Truth

Disclaimer - I don't own anything

Spoiler/follow on from 'House On Fire'

Thanks to those who are reading and encouraging.

XXXX

Jennifer Jareau was in the doghouse and she knew it. Not only had she provoked an argument that ultimately was over nothing she was late. After fighting with Emily JJ had decided to let off some steam by going for a run. She had been training to get back into shape and her level of fitness before her pregnancy and she was ahead of what she expected but she didn't use that as an excuse to slack. The truth was she was used to a certain level of exercise and she was feeling good enough and energetic enough to be getting back to it. So after she had walked away from Emily and gone upstairs to change into some shorts and a t-shirt she had left the house with her iPod and her keys and that was it. She had left her phone and everything else besides a bottle of water behind.

On her way JJ had started thinking. Mostly about why she had antagonised Emily into a fight. It wasn't like it hadn't happened before; they were human and well…women! Plus they lived and worked together. So sometimes they just needed to bitch at each other and get everything out. Sometimes they needed to fight or spent time apart. But JJ couldn't think of a reason why today of all days she had been short with her wife and suddenly felt the need for an argument. As she had run she had gotten a little perspective over the whole thing and she was sorry. She supposed it was just restlessness or something. Her Mom had been on the phone earlier in the morning and nagging her and telling her all sorts of things that she didn't particular want to hear about from home and she guessed she had taken it out on Emily. Henry had woken up outstandingly grumpy and had pretty much screamed most of the morning. It was just before they had argued that he had finally settled down for a nap which she thought would be good for him because he seemed tired.

Not only had she lost track of time but she had literally almost run into an old friend from Pittsburgh. They had run together in the park for a little while as they caught up briefly before JJ realised that Emily was going to kill her if she didn't get home as fast as humanly possible to get ready for the barbecue that they had been invited to by their friends over the street. After swapping numbers with her old friend she had run her way home, pushing herself and using her time limit as an excuse to do so. And as expected when she had finally gotten home Emily was less than impressed. She had lectured JJ on being immature for storming out and said that she was going across the street after getting Henry up to help out. JJ had insisted she'd get Henry after her shower since he was still asleep and meet her there. Well and truly in the doghouse the blonde and stretched before peeling off her clothes to get under the hot spray of the shower. By the time she had dried her hair off and gotten dressed Henry had begun to wake up. Timing was everything she supposed.

Now in a better mood the baby boy let his Mother change him and feed him some soggy cereal now they had introduced very mushy and sloppy foods to his milk diet, and then got him dressed to go over the road. She grabbed his baby bag and put a container of mashed up fruit in it for later for Henry and then picked up her son to carry him over the road. Emily had already taken his baby seat over there so it'd be there ready for him when he came over.

''You think she's still mad at me?''

JJ asked lightly as they walked down the path from their house. Henry bounced slightly and muttered around his dummy. JJ cringed and nodded.

''Yeah I think she is too. I suck.''

As if he knew what she had said and as though he knew how badly she felt about it Henry leaned in and pressed his face into the side of hers as his hand rested on the other side of it. He nudged into her lightly and the display of affection made her smile.

''Thanks baby boy, Mommy needed that. I love you too.''

JJ gave Henry a long kiss on the side of his head which made him gurgle and squeal happily. He bounced in her arm again which made her spare hand come to rest on his back so that he could bounce all he wanted in safety as she made her way over the street and up the side path of her neighbours garden. She nodded in greeting toward two of the guys from the street as they stood on the front porch pointing and admiring toward different cars, Emily's included. They waved back warmly before continuing talking about their obsession as she made her way into the house. There were only a couple of people inside and she smiled at them before making her way into the kitchen.

''JJ, you're here!''

JJ smiled guiltily as she was instantly greeted warmly by the woman that lived here, Annie Robinson. It was her and her husband's barbecue that they had been invited to and JJ suspected that if it had been anyone else Emily would have cancelled due to their rocky dispositions today. But Annie and Keith were good friends of theirs and they had been planning this thing for a couple of weeks and they had offered to help out with anything they needed. Work allowing of course.

''Better late than never huh? I'm so sorry I'm late.''

JJ cringed as she apologised glancing briefly at the woman that was sat by the cooking island that she didn't recognised before looking at her friend again. Annie just flicked a hand in dismissal completely unbothered by her tardiness as she gave her a little welcome hug.

''Oh you haven't missed much. The food is on its way to being ready and most of the guests are here but you're certainly not the last. So you can breathe!''

JJ laughed lightly as Annie gave her that look. That look Annie always gave her when she got herself a little wound up over something. JJ hated being late. And considering her less that stellar morning she was definitely not on her usual flow. It wasn't that she was adverse to conflict but she didn't like being at odds with Emily without a genuine reason. And lashing out at her because she was feeling the pressure about going to visit home and being made to feel guilty for not doing sooner was definitely not a genuine reason. She was going to need to do some smooth talking in way of apology on this one.

''And how is Mr Henry?''

Annie reached out for the baby and JJ passed him to her so that she could set the baby bag down on the corner of the counter. Henry cooed at Annie he had always liked her and she liked to fuss over him. Her three girls were now 3, 6 and 9 so she liked to fuss over the baby now her girls' baby days had passed. JJ got the container of fruit out of the bag and moved over the kitchen to put in the fridge.

''I just lost track of time this morning. I bumped into an old friend whilst I was running and before I knew it I was late. Plus Henry was still napping when I got home so the both of us were getting ready.''

JJ explained, now more as casual conversation and explanation than feeling too guilty. She knew that Annie really didn't care that she was late. Standing up as she closed the fridge after finding somewhere to cram the container in JJ smiled and blushed slightly as she looked at the other woman who was watching her speculatively. Annie sighed immediately.

''Oh my god where is my head? I'm sorry. JJ this is Mary Jacobi. She and her family moved in down the street a week ago. Mary this is Jennifer Jareau she lives just over the road.''

JJ smiled politely as she stepped forward and outstretched a hand for Mary to shake. The woman was slightly older perhaps in her early 40's with mousy brown hair and hazel eyes. She smiled politely back as she shook her hand.

''Nice to meet you Jennifer.''

''You too, please, call me JJ.''

Mary nodded and smiled as Annie handed Henry back to her as he reached for his Mother.

''And this is Henry.''

Mary smiled as she regarded the little boy that peered at her inquisitively.

''He's beautiful, how old is he?''

''Thank you, he's just left 7 months.''

''He seems very alert.''

''Yeah, he's very inquisitive.''

JJ smiled at Henry as he clapped feeling that swell of pride and love surge up as she thought about his progress lately. He was already starting to crawl and imitate sounds as well as starting to tell emotions by tones of voices and vibes just like he had displayed outside. He was doing great. He had almost said 'Mama' the other day but just fell short of it but given his delight for his baby talk JJ didn't think he would hold out for much longer. Now he was also attempting to stand by pulling himself up on something. The boy didn't stop. Everything was exciting for him and he was working things out quickly. One of his favourite things to do right now too was play peek-a-boo which usually had him squealing with delight. He was reaching out for toys and could tell what he wanted. His eating habits had been taken well he was responding to more solid foods extremely well and so far enjoyed everything that he had been given, especially oatmeal.

''7 months and _you _look like _that_? I hate you!''

Annie teased as she flailed a finger up and down the length of JJ's figure making the blonde blush lightly.

''Shut up!''

''No really! She trains a lot, don't ask her how many miles she runs you don't want to know.''

Annie insisted and then advised Mary. JJ scoffed indignantly even though the pink flush was still left on her face. As JJ opened her mouth to defend herself Annie pointed at her.

''And don't you dare blame your work! That's just an excuse.''

She added knowing exactly what JJ had been about to say. Annie just chuckled at JJ's mock off glare and went to tend to the things cooking on the stove.

''What do you do JJ?''

Mary enquired as JJ stole a couple of pieces of cucumber from the chopping board.

''I'm an FBI Agent.''

''_Really_?''

JJ nodded not minding the surprised reaction. By now she had gotten used to it people never thought she would be the FBI Agent type. It didn't really bother her.

''What do you do there, if you don't mind me asking?''

Mary enquired obviously intrigued.

''No not at all. I'm an SSA with the BAU; I'm their communications co-ordinator and press liaison and I'm a field Agent with the primary team.''

''I'm sorry, the BAU?''

''Behavioural Analyses Unit?''

Mary gasped and drew her head back as it clicked.

''Oh! Oh my, the serial killer people?''

JJ chuckled and nodded as she scouted for more things to steal and eat.

''Yeah, that's us!''

Serial killer people, she'd have to remember that one she was sure it would give the guys a little chuckle come Monday morning.

''That must be hard. And your husband he doesn't mind that kind of position.''

It was then that JJ stalled slightly. Coughing on the pepper she had just stolen from the various chopped up vegetables the blonde glanced toward Annie and quirked her eyebrow. Annie cringed slightly and flailed softly and apologetically mouthing that she was sorry.

''Oh, erm…I'm not…there isn't a husband; there's a wife. And no, she doesn't mind, she's a profiler so we work together.''

Why was it that suddenly JJ felt like she was telling her Aunt that constantly 'forgot' that she was gay and asked her how her boyfriend was going? JJ always had to correct her because she wasn't willing to let her get away with it. Granted Mary had no idea so it wasn't her fault. Presumably Annie hadn't thought to inform her because Annie wasn't normally one to go around dishing out personal information about people and probably wouldn't have felt it was her place anyway. The only way she would have said anything was if Mary had met Emily so JJ presumed that they hadn't. But the look on the older woman's face, the shocked and uncertain one did remind her of her Aunt. The way she was straining to deal with the little nugget of information made JJ know she had made her uncomfortable but there was nothing she could do about that. She'd asked and inevitable she would have found out so it might as well have come right from the horses mouth.

''Oh…so you're…a…''

JJ lifted Henry in her arm and raised an eyebrow as she waited.

''Lesbian?''

She supplied after a moment. Mary nodded.

''Yes.''

Annie blew a piece of her hair out the way of her face as she stood next to JJ and slung her arm around her and nudged into her lightly.

''JJ and Emily are our token minority!''

She teased gently. JJ rolled her eyes and nudged her friend back knowing that Annie was trying to smooth the lull in conversation over. Mary smiled at the joke lightly.

''Speaking of Emily has she been cursing my name?''

JJ winced as she asked receiving an odd look from Annie.

''No, why? Should she be?''

''She has justification, yes.''

JJ admitted neutrally. Running a hand through her hair she hoped that Emily was in a forgiving mood. The blue fitted jeans and black top she had picked out may have had something to do with trying to get back in Emily's good books knowing that the brunette called that particular combined outfit as the 'fuck me' outfit. Anything she could do to speed things along to a peacemaking she would and that included using the clothes in her very large arsenal to help her.

''Well she's out there right now getting hit on by Freddie Lambert…''

Annie mused as she peered through the kitchen window.

''_Again_?!''

JJ squeaked as she went to the window overlooking the back garden. Both Annie and Mary moved to stand next to her to see. Annie pointed out Emily to Mary and true enough she was laughing heartily at something the typically hansom man was saying. He held a bottle of beer and his arms were moving as he flailed lightly clearly amused and glad that he was impressing Emily.

The three women stood there in a kind of captivation as they watched Freddie try to elicit some kind of response but the only thing he was doing was entertaining. It was pretty obvious to everyone apart from him that Emily didn't realise that she was being hit on.

''Does she not realise he's coming onto her?''

Mary asked just to make sure which made the other too scoff lightly.

''She's the _only _person that doesn't realise he's coming onto her!''

Annie confirmed making JJ nod and laugh lightly.

''Please, she didn't realise _I _was coming onto her until I _told _her I was and had to literally instruct her to ask me out! And even then she babbled the whole way through asking. God only knows how she managed to propose. Probably valium or something!''

All three of them laughed and JJ shook her head and rolled her eyes at the memory. It was sometimes unbelievable how someone so together and confident could be completely the reverse and be so geeky and sweet. Whereas the babbling and the nerdy tendencies could put a lot of people off JJ loved them. They were part of why she had been attracted to Emily in the first place. Because she was different. Because underneath everything that could have made her ego big enough to walk into the room before her she was humble and kind hearted and held an innocence that was hard to keep hold of after everything she had been through. And that's why it had stopped her in her tracks and made her pay attention. It's why she had let things happen between them so easily without putting up a fright with herself and why it hadn't been a second thought to step into the milestones of their relationship.

''Maybe you should go apologise before Freddie sweeps her off her feet?''

Annie teased gently as Henry babbled and pointed toward where he could see Emily. JJ moved him into her other arm as she scoffed dubiously.

''Yeah 'cos Freddie Lambert is really a girl? Whatever! But I am going to apologise and I promise I will be here to help after I've grovelled for all I'm worth!''

Annie laughed and nodded as JJ walked out of the back door and into the garden. There were a few greetings shouted her way which made her smile and nod or wave but also notice that made Emily look at her. And then in turn Freddie looked at her too. She noticed him swallow nervously as he took a step back from Emily. Everyone always joked about him being intimidated by her because she knew that he tried to hit on Emily and it was usually pretty funny to see his reaction.

''Hi JJ.''

He greeted instantly forcing a tight smile onto his face.

''Hey Freddie, how's it going?''

''Umm…good thanks.''

''I just need to borrow my wife for a minute if that's okay?''

''Sure, sure!''

JJ nodded and put a hand on Emily's arm lightly to guide her to the side of the garden near the fencing where no one was around. Emily cleared her throat and crossed her arms as she leant on the fence, clearly still not impressed but at least she was willing to listen. JJ couldn't blame her for being mad at her.

''I just wanted to say that I'm really sorry for the way I acted earlier. I shouldn't have started a fight with you and I shouldn't have taken my mood out on you. I'm sorry, Em.''

JJ said sincerely. Emily sighed softly as she looked at the blonde as she apologised and knew from the look in blue eyes that she felt bad for it. Emily knew what had been doing this morning and she had tried not to let it happen but JJ had pushed her in exactly the right way to force an argument. That she still wasn't happy about and she knew there must have been something underlying but at least JJ was saying sorry and there was no need to continue being mad now it was done with.

''Thank you, I accept your apology.''

She said softly as she let herself relax a bit. JJ smiled and nodded appreciatively.

''I love you.''

''I know I love you too.''

Not really bothered about everyone else being there and knowing it wasn't anything most of them hadn't seen before JJ leant forward and kissed Emily softly but deeply.

''So were the hot jeans part of the plan?''

Emily asked teasingly as JJ pulled back slightly as Henry shuffled in her arms now interested in the movement behind her.

''What, to seduce you rotten? Yeah pretty much!''

''Well its working, dear god woman!''

JJ chuckled again as Emily reached out to grab her belt and pull her in again for another kiss. This one much deeper than the last one. After a moment though they had to pry apart and both cleared their throats to try and clear the fluster that had cropped up. Henry lurched forward toward Emily thought so she took him from JJ.

''And what about you huh?''

Henry flapped slightly and made his happy babblings which made her smile as she watched.

''He's fine. Do you mind keeping him while I go help out Annie in the kitchen?''

Emily shook her head.

''No of course not.''

JJ smiled and started to back away.

''Oh and baby, dear god someone has to tell you this because you're so clueless. Freddie Lambert is hitting on you!''

JJ laughed as she turned around not before catching sight of Emily's surprised and dumbfounded expression.

The barbecue got underway without a hitch. JJ helped in the kitchen and a flow of easy conversation started between her and Annie and Mary as Emily remained outside and chatted to everyone there mostly neighbours. Eventually everyone got introduced to Mary and her husband Peter and their two kids Joy and David. The food was great and the drinks were always on hand and people laughed and chatted as the music played. Emily had been in stitches and almost choked on her drink as Keith had her in hysterics as he usually did they were like two naughty little kids when they got together. And Annie's youngest daughter Isabelle had followed JJ around like a shadow including when they had eaten and had positioned herself on the blonde's knee she had always been JJ's follower since she met her.

Eventually it had grown dark and some of the older kids played in the garden as the adults left sat around in the chairs just laughing and talking in the circle they had made. Henry had even fallen asleep with the excitement of the day and Emily had put him in the crib of Isabelle's that was still in her room until they went home so he could sleep peacefully as Isabelle was just comfortable to start falling asleep on JJ. But as her phone began to ring the blonde had to pass her to Annie so she could excuse herself to answer it.

''Oh no.''

Emily groaned as she saw JJ coming out of the house.

''What?''

''I know that look.''

JJ saw the realisation in Emily's eyes as she got to the circle and grimaced lightly.

''I have to go in.''

Emily sighed at the confirmation and dropped her head back as she closed her eyes as everyone groaned.

''Perfect.''

She grumbled. She loved her job but dear god sometimes it pissed her off. She felt JJ put her hand on the back of her head.

''I'll call you when I go through the case and speak to the police chief to see if it's urgent enough to leave right away, okay?''

JJ said softly before leaning down and placing a kiss on Emily's forehead.

''What're you leaning toward?''

JJ sighed at the question, sometimes she really hated to be the one to intake the cases and drag everyone back to the office when what they really needed was time to do whatever it was everyone did to relax.

''You should call Annette and fetch your go bag. I'm sorry.''

Emily nodded as she looked up at JJ.

''It's okay. Go.''

JJ nodded and waved a goodbye to everyone before giving Annie and Keith a kiss for thanks and a goodbye before she left. The circle was quiet for a moment after she let with a lot of eyes on Emily who righted out her head again.

''Do you get pulled away a lot, Emily?''

Mary asked obviously more unaccustomed to what just happened than everyone else.

''Quite often, not usually out of hours but it happens. We're on standby pretty much all of the time.''

''And JJ…she decides or something?''

''Every single case request goes directly to her office. She has to prioritise them and assign them and decide which cases we go to, yeah. The primary team, us, take the worst cases. So she'll go to the office and go through the details and if needs be she'll make notifications and get everyone back into work and organise everything.''

Sitting up Emily ran a hand through her hair. She blinked lightly as she thought about the enormity of JJ's job on a daily basis.

''Hey, if you want to go Henry can stay with us, it's not a problem. Annette can pick him up in the morning; your baby bag has all he needs in it to survive the night anyway. He's already settled.''

Emily looked at Keith hopefully.

''Are you sure? I don't mind waiting for Annette to get here.''

The man flicked a hand and shook his head.

''No it's fine, it'll be nice having another guy in the house!''

Emily laughed lightly and nodded as she stood up.

''That'd be great, thank you. I might as well go now if I'm going anyway, I can make coffee and watch JJ work!''

Everyone laughed lightly as she gave Keith and Annie a thank you hug and kiss before waving at everyone else.

''See you in a couple of days.''

''Be careful out there.''

''Always am.''

With that Emily ran across the street in time to get in before JJ left. After explaining Henry was staying over the road for the night she grabbed her go bag and snagged her cuffs and credits from the nightstand and unlocked the key coded safety box to get out her gun, JJ already having gotten hers. Within a matter of minutes they were off. And as JJ drove Emily organised Annette and also rang Keith to inform him of some of Henry's habits in the morning times just in case knowing her mind wouldn't be settled until she did. After that she did as she said. Put some coffee on as JJ went about doing her part. With nothing else she could do Emily just observed and yet again was impressed by the ease in which JJ handled complicated situations and the narky comments she got from their friends at being called back.

The plane ride was solemn and quiet. Emily starred out of the jet window into the darkness outside. She was running over details in her head and considering all the information they had. But she was also worried about Garcia. She knew she would find this difficult. And as well as that JJ's little insight had made her start to wonder. Had her insistence of a fight this morning been because of her conflicting feelings about home? A place that was going to be extremely similar to where they were flying to right now. The blonde the only person that had grown up in a small town so she knew what she was talking about when she said people would assume the worst if they talked to anyone. They had to tread carefully here. And she had to keep an eye on her wife and her friend.

''You're looking thoughtful over here.''

Emily blinked as Rossi slid into the opposite chair. She regarded him for a moment before looking are speculatively. JJ was off at the other side of the jet going through the media she had with her like Hotch had asked her to and also talking on the phone with someone, probably the police chief again. Morgan sat down abruptly and sighed deeply as he opened up his file and she startled as Reid sat down next to her. Raising an eyebrow she looked between the three men as they looked at her.

''What?''

She squeaked as she got the feeling she was being ganged up on all of a sudden.

''Nothing!''

Reid shrugged lightly as she almost merrily opened up his file to uselessly read through again. It wasn't like he needed to he knew what it said already.

''You're acting funny.''

She accused lightly and tiredly. He shook his head quickly.

''I'm not acting funny.''

''You're _all _acting funny. Leave me alone!''

The guys laughed lightly and Morgan shook his head.

''Nope. You got that look.''

''What look? There's no look.''

She defended as she sat up huffily. He pointed at her.

''Right there. That look we all get sometimes. When our job interferes with our barely existent personal lives and makes you feel like crap. You know, the one where you question if you _really _wanna do this?''

Emily sighed. She hated profilers. Rubbing the side of her head she shifted in her seat again and then ran her hand through her hair.

''We were at a barbecue tonight. Our friends daughter is JJ's shadow, follows her everywhere. She's only 3. And she was asleep in her arms when she got the call. And as soon as she came back from talking I knew she had to leave. So our friends offered to keep Henry there until Annette picked him up in the morning so I could go with her, because as much as JJ wanted to keep us from going out tonight she knew she couldn't. And I sat there for an hour watching her work, watching her try to work out if we _really _needed to go now rather than in the morning so we could at least come home and say goodbye to our son properly, so he could wake up in his own room. And the look of guilt when she couldn't, and when she called you guys was awful. She doesn't show it to anyone but its there. And after she had set up the briefing room she sat down and made notes about how to handle these people, because she knows them. Because she grew up somewhere like this. And I know that's going to get to her because she has some things on her mind about home right now, and I know she feels awkward sometimes that she's the only one that can answer our questions because all of us? We come from big cities. And we think we know these people because we're profilers but we don't, she does. And she knows exactly what Garcia is going to find on these people and she's wishing that she didn't have to. So yeah, the job is a little crappy right now.''

It had been an odd day to say the least. Emily hadn't realised exactly what she had been thinking and focusing on until she said it out loud and as she looked at the boys she saw that they had taken it all in and understood what she was trying to say. Not one of the three of them had to leave a child behind but that didn't mean that didn't empathise with the three of them that did. Because even when Jack was with Hailey it still meant Hotch was leaving him behind. He wasn't there to be readily available for him like they weren't there to be readily available to Henry. And they understood that JJ and feelings toward her small town were difficult at best. Morgan and Reid certainly knew that from the case that had taken them near where she grew up. Her insight into these people had been what had made them go and although a girl died it could have been much worse if not for JJ. And she had gotten Polly to talk because she could relate to her.

''Well then I'm going to go bug her.''

Morgan declared as he stood up again. Emily scoffed in light amusement as he made his way over toward JJ as Reid scrambled to follow his lead.

''Me too.''

Emily chuckled as Reid pranced off in the same direction and saw JJ look up at them both almost dubiously for a moment as they sat down. Morgan nudged her lightly from the side of her as he stretched out and put his feet up on the opposite chair and it got a smile out of her as they started to coax her into talking. The brunette shook her head but relaxed a little.

''Emily, we know she tries her best. And we appreciate it.''

Rossi finally spoke. She looked up at him with the respect she had come to feel for him but also with a brutal honesty too.

''Maybe you should let her know that more often then.''

She replied pointedly.

''Maybe we should.''

It didn't seem too much longer until they were landing. When they hit the small airstrip they got into the two cars waiting for them and drove the rest of the way toward Royal. Of course it didn't have its own landing site. Rossi got behind the wheel of one car and after an argument between JJ, Hotch and Morgan Emily and Reid had rolled their eyes and did the paper, scissors, stone game and as she picked scissors he had picked stone. She grabbed the keys and got into the drivers seat and therefore ended the argument. Morgan and Hotch had gone with Rossi and Reid and JJ had gotten into her car and they were on their way. From the road to the hotel where Hotch had told them to take a nap while they good and change.

So now Emily watched as JJ ended her conversation with the police chief as she told him they would be meeting him in a couple of hours after daybreak. The blonde had already gotten changed and Emily couldn't help but muse to herself that this was definitely not how she had planned on seeing her wife out of those jeans.

''You okay?''

JJ asked as she shuffled into the empty space in the bed.

''Yeah. Are you?''

''Yeah.''

Emily kissed JJ's head as the blonde snuggled up to her. There were a few minutes of silence until Emily frowned and drew in a breath.

''Freddie Lambert is _hitting _on me?''

She asked in a bewildered squeak that made JJ laugh uncontrollably. After a few more minutes of making fun of Emily's obliviousness they drifted off and it seemed like only moments until the alarm went off to get them up again. Moving to shower and dress on autopilot the two got ready and JJ was answering the door to Hotch's knocking. It was time for them to leave. With a brief goodbye JJ left Emily to finish getting ready and headed with her boss into Royal. She watched out of the window as Hotch drove.

''I think there's a blueprint somewhere for the layout of small towns.''

She mused quietly as she watched the scenery goodbye. There was no way she could get lost here it was almost exactly the same as her own town. The only differences were that Royal had a couple more amenities than hers did.

''Similar?''

''Very.''

There was a brief pause as Hotch considered what to say.

''What was it like growing up in a place like this?''

He wondered gently. He had never asked her before. She had talked to him a little bit about small town pressure and things like that but he had never really dug any deeper.

''It was suffocating. It took me a while to realise it. When I was a kid it was just safe, you know? The fact that I knew everyone and they knew me made me feel protected.''

''What changed?''

''People talked. That's all they did. Traded in gossip and hearsay. There was no loyalty with gossip.''

She knew her answer was vague. It was hard for her to talk about to be honest. Those days were difficult when she had realised what was going on and been forced to know things about people she would have preferred not to know. She realised just how sordid people could be and that nothing was sacred.

''Here's the social hall.''

She pointed out toward the left as she saw the hall and the police chief standing outside of it. The image she had concocted in her mind after listening to the gruff voice on the end of the phone wasn't far off what he actually looked like.

''Chief Carlson.''

It was less of a question and more of a greeting since JJ didn't need to ask who he was. But he looked at her speculatively for a moment trying to decide if that was the girl he'd really been speaking to and if this was the FBI that had come to rescue him from his dire situation.

''Agent Jareau, this is Agent Hotchner.''

The man was so anxious and so guilt ridden that he didn't have time after they talked outside to warn them. As JJ followed Hotch down the dark hallway toward the main hall she knew something was wrong when he slowed in his step. And she knew from the smell that began to float toward her that she needed to brace herself. And as she stepped inside she couldn't help but feel a wave of extreme sorrow at what she saw. There had been many sights in her time but this one was something she wouldn't forget. She had never seen bodies laid out like this. Just rows of them all set out in body bags. All these needless deaths. These people would have been friends or close to some degree. Even enemies were close in a town like this. No wonder the chief was so guilty he was blaming himself. She knew what he knew. No matter when they stopped this unsub it wouldn't matter. These losses had already cut into this town so severely they would be feeling it for years to come.

''Jayj, help me out here I don't know what I'm looking for.''

Garcia begged with her best puppy eyed look over the webcam at her best friend. Hotch had gone leaving a moment of silence in his wake as Reid and JJ looked between one another at his bluntness toward the technical analyst.

''Okay Penelope. Look, you guys have no idea what you can unearth in a place like this. I know it's hard for you to be doing this but Hotch is on the right track. I can help you weed some things out okay? Because once you start into it all your going to be finding is enemies, secrets and likely targets.''

JJ sighed as she looked between Garcia and Spence.

''I thought towns like this were supposed to be fluffy and example setting of the good living kind of way, not dens of surprising iniquity.''

The quirky blonde almost sulked as she rubbed her forehead at the headache that was brewing there.

''Welcome to my nightmare.''

The day had dragged on and they had lost more people. The unsub had surprised everyone by lowering his body count but it had given them their biggest clue. That he was going after someone specific now rather than lashing out at the small town. As they had finally dragged themselves back to the hotel they were staying at everyone was tired. The place had a little bar inside of it and as Emily had gone to shower the smell of smoke off JJ had opted to go and get a drink.

''Hey.''

JJ looked up at Rossi as he sat down in the booth opposite her.

''Hey.''

He gestured toward her class which she circled with her wrist so that the brown liquid move fluidly inside.

''What you got there?''

He wondered lightly before taking a sip of the scotch that he had ordered.

''Whiskey.''

The legendry profiler quirked an eyebrow as if genuinely surprised that Jennifer Jareau would choose such a drink.

''Well, you keep right on surprising me Jennifer.''

''Good.''

He smirked lightly at her response knowing that she was a little amused and glad that she kept him guessing so much. But that didn't override her sense of tiredness or her grim onslaught of what had to be memories and empathy for the people in this town.

''You do an exceptional job, do you know that?''

He confided smoothly with every ounce of sincerity that he felt levelling at her. She looked at him in a form of surprise, her jaw open just a little as she stalled for a moment having not been expecting the honest compliment.

''Your parents must be proud.''

He added. Emily said that he should show her his appreciation and she had been right. But she hadn't said anything about not trying to get a little information out of the stoic young woman either. It was the perfect angle in. If JJ didn't realise she was being played. Played for genuine reasons but played none the less. And given how astute she was Rossi had a feeling that his plan would be discovered in about 10 seconds flat.

''Not as proud as you would think.''

She mumbled into her glass with her tone teetering on the bitter side. He lifted an eyebrow as he watched her sip at her drink and swallow it easily. He was definitely surprised. And she was drinking it neat, that was his kind of girl.

''Oh?''

He played along pretending he was curious. Or rather not pretending he was curious because he was but feigning the innocence of it.

''David if there's something you'd like to ask me just ask me, don't play me.''

Yeah, that was around 10 seconds as he had suspected. Taking in a deep breath he thought for a second as he tried to figure out exactly how to ask what some of the theories were in his head. For why a girl like JJ would go into a job like this. They had never sat down and had a real heart to heart like this, not like he and Emily had.

''I've been trying to work out for a long time why someone like you would do this. The rest of us I've figured out but you're just that bit different. And you don't let on about anything ever.''

JJ swallowed the liquid she had sipped from her glass.

''And what is it that you suspect my deep dark secret is, Agent Rossi? If you've thought about it all this time? I'm a big girl, you can ask.''

She asked almost challengingly.

''You want me to just ask you? Just like that?''

He almost squeaked a little surprised by her again. She looked at him with a level of understanding and knowing in her eyes. She knew exactly what he was thinking and he couldn't help but feel somewhat disturbed that she could read him that easily.

''You're first question is going to be if my Daddy ever snuck into my room at night, right?''

''Yes.''

''He didn't. And neither did any other male family member or close family friend. I was never molested. So strike one on that. Two more and you're out.''

Rossi couldn't help but feel some sense of relief as he knew the answer was real. He'd be able to see it in her eyes if it wasn't. As much as she was private right now she was giving him a pass. She wasn't open enough to let him see the answers but she was open enough to be truthful about his questions.

''You weren't abused in any way?''

He asked to make sure. JJ shook her head.

''No. And that counts as your second strike.''

He sighed gently as he thought and watched the way her eyes moved. Taking a long sip of his own drink his hand moved up so that he could scratch his beard. He didn't want to miss the opportunity to crack something open and he hated to continue along the same line but he thought he was onto something. It was that look of recognition that did it.

''You weren't molested or abused but you were raped, right? Is that it?''

JJ looked at him seriously for a moment as she held the mouthful of whiskey she had just taken in her mouth. The air between them wasn't tense but it was intense. As she swallowed her drink she cleared her throat and narrowed her eyes.

''Do you have some twisted thing about sexual assault or something?''

''JJ.''

''No. No one has ever touched me unless I wanted them to, okay? That isn't my big bad secret you're looking for. It's a little insulting that you assume something must have been _done _to me to want to work a job like this. How about I'm intelligent and qualified and I want to help people, and I'm capable to do so?''

This girl was good. He'd thought it before and he continued to.

''You're right it is kind of insulting. But the overwhelming majority says that people are attracted to this for a reason. So that's not the whole picture though, is it? You may not have a big bad secret but you have a story, everybody does.''

JJ shrugged and smiled lightly.

''I'm just a small town girl, Rossi.''

Sighing JJ looked around for a moment and wiggled her glass at the bartender before ducking her head and running her hand through her hair.

''I don't even know why I'm talking about this to you.''

The guy from the bar brought another whiskey over and she smiled at him thankfully as she took it and he walked away.

''Look, things are different in a town like this. If you're different, you're screwed. Even if you're not different, there isn't any loyalty. Everybody knows your business and gossip rules. You don't even stand a chance. Whatever issues or problems or difficulties you have, it's out there. Good news, bad news, it doesn't matter. You have no secrets. You have no right to keep anything and its crazy to try. And living like that is like living in a vice, you can't breathe.''

The memories had definitely been stirred up during this case. Add to the fact that her Mother was putting on the pressure to visit. JJ had done her best to keep things at bay. She was a professional so she had been able to put things off, until quiet moments. Moments like being in the break room and grabbing a coffee. Moments that she stole to check up on Henry. She had looked at his pictures a lot today.

''So what happened?''

She sighed and ran a hand through her hair again wearily.

''What always happened. Talk. Rumours. They were always watching, always whispering. And for a long time when I was a kid that didn't matter. I didn't realise what it meant. I was a really happy kid and there was nothing to worry about. Until my brother got sick. _Really _sick. That's when I felt how suffocating that place could be. They were always talking, always watching. There was no getting away from it. They were always interfering and I realised that I knew so much about people, things I didn't want to know. Things I had no right to know. It's like a damn national pass time. And as Aiden got sicker my parents changed. They just…they turned into different people right in front of me. He died and after that, it's like watching a car roll off the road, you can't do anything to stop it. My family just became another car wreck. They blamed me.''

''Why would they blame you?''

''Because somehow, and I don't know how, it started to get around that I was into girls. And Aiden tried to protect me. We were so close and he couldn't stand the thought of that town talking about me the way they did about him. He got so stressed, and one evening my parents left to go to a meeting or something. I was supposed to be watching Aiden, but I fell asleep. He snuck out and got into a fight with one of the kids from school. About a week after that he died. The erm…the Doctor told them it was going to happen no matter what, but they still blamed me. I think maybe part of them still does. So I spent more time with my Aunt than my folks and the rumours continued. I lost a lot of my friends, Mom and Dad couldn't look me in the eye most of the time. My team…they stood by me. So I put all my energy into soccer and studying. That's how I dealt with it. I put all that guilt and pain and turned it into strength and determination and ability and I went to Pittsburgh. I had a really great time there. And then I got into Georgetown. And I had a really good time there. And then I asked you a question. Just one simple question and I thought 'hey, I can do that, I can help people'. So here I am. And all I've been thinking all day is that the guy we're going to find? He's going to be who I could've been because of this damn town. It's not a justification; I'm not saying it is. But trust me, they'll be something that they did that he couldn't come back from.''

Rossi just listened. He didn't even think about interrupting because he knew that she needed to say what she had to say in one big fell swoop to get it out. And he heard her. He saw the things she was talking about. He saw the gripping vice that she had lived in and the pressure it would have caused. He saw the raw pain at the loss of her brother. Pain that was different but ultimately outweighed what she had gone through after. He saw her fight the faceless and nameless townsfolk that whispered after her and he saw the anger that swept through her at being rejected which had caused her not to snap but to fight for herself. Very few children could have done that in that kind of environment, but she had.

The essence in which she spoke was that of someone who had dealt with something so they could have a life and that she maybe even considered it something she had to go through. It didn't mean that it wasn't painful to talk about or uneasy to talk about it obviously was. But she was right. All that fight and fire she had in her was there for a reason. Because she had had to do something for herself. JJ had spirit in abundance and it was ultimately that spirit that had propelled her forward. She had been dealing with hard circumstances and high pressure from the start and she had learnt to cope with it and move it forward. And it was the same spirit that made her fight, it was the same spirit that gave her the drive to go and do what she wanted to do. Which had led her here.

''I do. Trust you. I believe in you. I believe that you are a very determined and confident and competent young woman that would have been driven to help people no matter what. Because your sense of justice was set a long time before you were ever saddled with a devastating blame. And I don't think anyone could ever take anything away from you because your power and your spirit are too strong. I'm sorry that your brother died, that must have been incredibly hard.''

''Yeah.''

He thought for a moment before drawing in a breath.

''Henry Aiden.''

JJ smirked as he pointed out the name and lifted an eyebrow.

''Aiden made me promise him that I wouldn't go doing something 'cheesy' like naming kids after him. He never said anything about a middle name!''

Rossi chuckled lightly.

''Sneaky.''

She tipped her head in thanks, clearly amused at her way around the promise. Something told him that if Aiden could know it would have amused him too.

''I apologise for insulting you, I'm aware that I do that on a regular basis I'm kind of a blunt guy. I should learn not to do that because you hit pretty hard! I saw Morgan after his hand to hand with you last week…it wasn't a pretty sight!''

JJ laughed genuinely as she was touched by Rossi's words and started to understand why Emily talked to him so often and why they had that connection. He was right though, he did tend to insult her and others around him, not intentionally most of the time but out of that bluntness he knew he had. And if she was honest she had considered the prospect of hitting him once or twice.

''He called me a blonde beanpole!''

Rossi frowned in confusion.

''Beanpole?''

''Yeah he's always thought I was too skinny. Says I'm kinda lanky. He never learns so I get to enjoy smacking him around.''

Rossi laughed lightly and rolled his eyes. It was typical of Morgan.

''Next time let me watch okay?''

JJ laughed and nodded.

''You got it!''

She sighed softly before taking a few sips of whiskey savouring the taste as he eased down her throat. She didn't drink it all that often but when she did she enjoyed it.

''Thanks for listening.''

''Thanks for talking.''

She looked at him briefly for a second.

''This does nothing to decrease the mystery that follows you around you know?''

JJ smirked from around the rim of her glass.

''Oh I know!''

She replied all too sweetly innocent that really stated that she was definitely aware of this and was never going to make it change. Jennifer Jareau was perfectly happy with being the elusive cryptic. He thought back to what Emily had said to him once. About the fact that she was married to her and she still hadn't figured her out. He knew he didn't stand a chance. Emily had to be the one person that knew most about JJ other than JJ herself. And if she were still a mystery to her then that pretty much said that anyone else wouldn't stand a chance either.

''About your brother, you've said you had nieces and nephews?''

''Sure, yeah. Aiden was the youngest. I have an older brother and sister too. Things weren't as difficult with them. Things changed but not so dramatically. I was always the odd one out I guess. The damage never got fully repaired. We love each other but there's a distance between us now.''

''They don't approve of your sexuality?''

''They don't understand it, no. They actually kind of like Emily though. Still think I'm going to realise I need a man one day though.''

Rossi flicked his hand.

''Eh, we're idiots, you did right sticking to the women!''

JJ laughed and circled the glass in her hand again.

''Ya! Although can I say that anymore? I have a son now!''

''Well there are nice, smart and hansom idiots too!''

''Yeah, I work with 4 of them.''

Rossi raised his glass in appreciation of the compliment and JJ swallowed the rest of her drink and put the glass down.

''I think I've hit my limit at two. I need to check on Garcia and make sure Emily remembered to actually eat something.''

He nodded and smiled lightly.

''Always the nurturer.''

''Always.''

They nodded at one another before she slid out of the booth. He looked up at her as he looked at him for a moment and saw the thanks in her eyes before she turned around and walked out of the bar.

JJ had been right. The town had turned on a boy and he had broken under that pressure. And that's what Rossi had seen when they had gotten to him. A broken boy. Never repaired from his parents' death and never given a chance. Never given himself a chance.

Upon arriving home JJ dumped her go back in the hallway and groaned as she stretched as Emily dropped her bag too and smirked at her wife's obvious glee to be home. She stepped up behind the blonde and wrapped her arms around her as she leant her head on her shoulder and JJ's hands covered her own.

''I mention yet today how outstandingly hot you look in that shirt?''

JJ chuckled, not stopping Emily's hands from roaming upward.

''No, but you've checked me out a fair few times.''

Emily grinned in a lop sided way as she shrugged.

''Well what can I say I have an outrageously gorgeous wife.''

''Outrageously huh?''

''At minimum.''

JJ turned around in Emily's arms and fell into the kiss that was waiting for her. A kiss that had been put off since the night they had left, hot and deep and passionate as tongues roamed and explored and Emily's hands made their way under her shirt to seek out skin as her own arms looped around the brunette's head and urged her closer.

''So Annette won't be back with Henry for another hour according to her text. You wanna hit the shower with me?''

JJ barely managed to get the offer out through the intensifying kisses as hands began to roam and the air became fused and electric. Emily mumbled and pushed the blonde back into a nearby wall and began to kiss along her neck before pulling away just enough to get the shirt up over JJ's head after which it was promptly discarded.

''How 'bout we work toward the shower?''

''I think that sounds rather interesting, do continue!''


	7. Feel

A/N - All mistakes are mine as ever. Got a bit behind which I apologise for. Bit different this time added something different which I may explore I'm not sure yet. Thanks again to everyone that's fed back :) Set around 'Conflicted'.

XXX

''Last night, _and _this morning, were amazing.''

Emily mused softly the telltale sign of a smile filtering through her voice that had to be noticed still had a little of a rough edge to it. Less out of sleepiness and perhaps more out of the activities that she had been 'coaxed' into this morning after a long night of the very same activities that left them with only a three hour gap for sleep.

The case had been tough for everyone particularly Reid but it had affected them all in some way. Emily had felt the weight of it when they had brought in Adam and Julie. She had sensed that something was very off. Everything was usually off in their line of work serial offenders didn't get to be like that without something being off but sometimes there was just an extra sense of it and it had definitely been there in this case. Emily honestly thought Julie had just been trying to help her friend because she cared deeply for him and it had landed her in a world of hurt. She had held her hand and talked to her outside the hotel and also in the ambulance on the way to the hospital and it was devastating to see the confusion and distress that the woman was going through. She simply didn't understand what had happened and how it could have. What had happened to her friend. It had been heartbreaking.

JJ had said something on similar lines and told Emily in detail what it had been like when they had found Adam…or Amanda at that point ready to kill the step Father. JJ had hated that they couldn't touch the guy. She hadn't hesitated in pulling the bag off of his head but it didn't mean she had liked the feeling of saving a man that had caused so much horror and destruction in a little boy that his mind had snapped and broken. Adam was so innocent in all of this and had suffered through every second of it and although his alter ego had fractured off and overtaken him to protect him it had been in the entirely wrong way to go about it. But no one could find it within themselves to truly blame her.

What's more Emily knew her wife was hurting for Reid. They were so close and she loved him very deeply. Sometimes it got overlooked but when Emily had first arrived at the BAU she had been able to see the connection between the two of them. She thought at first that Reid had a crush on JJ and of course she had found out later that he had once upon a time. But even by the time she started working there it had changed into more of a sibling kind of relationship. JJ was very protective of him and extremely patient with him. Emily could remember what JJ had gone through when Reid had been taken by Tobias Henkel. She had been mortified and so worried. They hadn't been dating for very long at all then but much later when they had talked about it once JJ had admitted that she hadn't been able to think straight most of the time because she felt like something had been taken away from her just like Aiden had been taken away from her. That's when Emily really understood the depth on which JJ cared for Reid. She hadn't replaced her little brother but Reid was one in her eyes.

JJ had been there for him a lot during his recovery from the drugs. She had gone to meetings with him and talked to him over the phone during the night when he had needed someone to talk to. She had even driven over in the dead of night if she had to. They had all been there for him but JJ had definitely been the one to make sure he kept standing. It was obvious that she was worried about the toll this case was going to take on him and she had tried to get him to come over to the house to do something or even stay but he had declined and said there was something he needed to do.

So when they had arrived back at Virginia yesterday at just before lunch they had gone their separate ways to do some work and finish their reports for the case. When they had arrived for de-briefing an hour later they found out that Reid had begged off and gone home but after the meeting Hotch had given them the rest of the day too. JJ had left a message for Reid saying if he needed anything she was available and then they had headed home. After a quick shower each they had decided to go out for a drive with Henry and stopped at a few places to look around. He'd had fun and they'd had fun just being together and with him enjoying the rest of what the day had to offer. He was walking now which was still amazing to them and getting smarter and smarter by the day. Again he had attracted a lot of attention when they had stopped for something to eat. It had been a really nice day. When they had gone to the park and JJ was helping him stand just between her legs as she was sitting on the bench a little scruffy thing of a dog had approached and he had been so sweet and good natured that he had sat in front of Henry and let him pat him. He had had such a great time and they had loved watching him interact with everything and everyone as he explored and experienced. Of course many pictures and videos had been taken.

Henry had been tired out by all the excitement and fuss of the day and had dropped off very quickly after he had been bathed and fed. Fell hard and fast asleep in Emily's arms. After she had put him down and made sure he was safe and comfortable she had gone to join JJ downstairs. They had cooked together and joked around as they had as they had fooled around and talked about random things. They had opened some wine as they had eaten and after that Emily remembered music and lots of kissing. Kissing that had led to touching which had led to a lot more.

And she certainly hadn't objected by the early morning repeat performance initiated by her wife. They lay stretched out and entwined with one another comfortable now just enjoying the peace and afterglow. JJ snuggled in a little more as her hand made smoothing motions across the length of Emily's stomach gently.

''I thought so too.''

The blonde moved to place a kiss on the brunette's shoulder and smiled as she got a squeeze from the arm that was looped around her in return. Intensity had never been lacking in this relationship even from the start. Sure Emily had been a geeky and nervous wreck abound her when it came to asking her out but that was just one side of Emily Prentiss. What had been building up between them was something deep and solid that had just grown and grown as they had started dating. They hadn't shied away from one another no matter how intense it had gotten and when the passion seemed overwhelming. But it was theirs and they wanted it there like that they wanted to be overwhelmed.

JJ had run from a lot of people but it had never even occurred to her to do the same with Emily. Maybe her instinct to bail was her way of telling herself she knew it wasn't right? She had had relationships of course and she had some special people in her heart but it was like Emily eclipsed everything she thought she had felt for anyone else. But that didn't scare her at all. JJ remembered confessing…or blurting out rather…to Garcia her attraction to Emily. And then when it had gotten serious she had freaked out in her best friends apartment about not being freaked out!

''You remember our first time?''

The blonde added along with a very soft and amused snicker as the memories hit her. Immediately there came a scoff from Emily as well as a slight tut and JJ knew the brunette had rolled her eyes too. She moved slightly so that she could rest her head on the pillow instead of her wife so they could look at one another properly.

''_Seriously_, JJ, why the hell did you marry me?''

Emily demanded playfully but with enough exasperation and a slight cringe to signify that she really did wonder sometimes. That night, their fourth date, had been great. Right up until JJ had asked her if she wanted to come in the house with her after they had come back from dinner.

''_I had a great time tonight, JJ.''_

_Emily's voice was hushed slightly not only because of the later hour but because it didn't feel like a moment to raise her voice. Not even to a normal level. They were stood on JJ's front porch in the fresh night air the street was quiet and peaceful and the atmosphere made it seem like they were the only people alive. It felt good. The buzz in her stomach that was burning in the best of ways felt good because it good feel JJ. Everything had become about JJ._

_Tonight really had been great. She loved getting to know the blonde better and the more she found out the more she liked her. They had talked for hours tonight about everything and anything. It had been quite some time since she had been able to connected to someone on this level. _

''_So did I.''_

_There was something different about tonight. And as Emily accepted the light but meaningful kiss that JJ initiated she figured it out instantly. The thought of getting to touch the woman kissing her and to explore and feel and be in the most intimate and private of places with her made her blood boil inside. It made everything shudder and tingle and set on fire. JJ hadn't even touched her properly and yet Emily was full of anticipation of what was to come. She wanted this, wanted her so badly._

_It was an understanding through the kiss what was about to happen. And JJ didn't object as Emily took hold of her hips and pushed her back until she was pressed up against her own front door. Emily's mouth became insistent and she was happy to open up the kiss upon request. It became deeper and hot and breath taking. She could feel everything in her come alive. Could feel Emily's body pressed against her own and how good that felt as they made out on her doorstep. This was it this was definitely it._

_When air eventually became an issue and the women pulled apart panting after such a phenomenal kiss JJ became aware that Emily's hands were in her hair and her own hands had somehow at some point made their way just under the older woman's shirt. Her eyes were glued to brown and intensely shining eyes however and everything in her was telling her that this was right and this was real._

''_Come inside with me.''_

_The blonde whispered surely still not having caught her breath but leaving no room for Emily to misunderstand what she meant. It was time and they were more ready. If she was honest with herself JJ would have said she was ready on the first date Emily drove her that crazy. As soon as they had been introduced this had been coming and they both knew it. _

_Emily nodded mutely too taken away to really say anything. She stepped back just a little to let JJ turn around to the door to open it up. The brunette kept her hands on JJ's hips and pressed into her lightly glad that she felt the blonde shudder slightly. JJ got the door open impressively quickly and they walked through together. Emily let JJ go to shut the door and fell into step behind her. Or rather tried to fall into step behind her. In the darkened hallway she misjudged her distance from the hallway table and walked straight into it sending a couple of things crashing to the floor or falling over._

''_Ow! Shit, JJ I'm so sorry.''_

_She couldn't help but cringe as she tried to scan where everything had fallen ignoring the slight pain in her foot to do so. She could not believe she had just done that particularly now. She wanted tonight to be perfect which meant her not turning into a bumbling idiot and making JJ realise that she could do so much better. She turned as she felt a hand on her shoulder and she didn't need a light on in the hallway to see the bright blue of JJ's eyes or the radiance of her face._

''_Leave it, it's okay.''_

_JJ uttered softly not giving a damn about the hallway table. She could tell that Emily was concerned about it so she hooked her fingers into the older woman's belt and pulled her forward fluidly. As soon as they were close enough they fell into another crushing kiss that made both of them instantly forget about Emily's bump with the table and remember what was happening between them. Tongues roamed mouths and hands roamed bodies eagerly. Feet began to move in shuffling motions toward the stairs with JJ leading. As they barely separated to climb up the stairs the pair got halfway up before Emily stumbled and fell causing JJ to fall with her. They landed in a little of a tangled heap in the middle of the stairs._

''_Oh my god are you okay? I am _so _sorry.''_

_Emily cringed and fussed as she blinked and looked around as she realised they were on their asses on the steps when a moment ago they had been upright. However she did know it was her fault they had taken the tumble. When she looked at JJ though the blonde was laughing softly._

''_Yeah I'm fine, are you?''_

_Emily smirked as JJ reached out her hand to push some of her hair out of the way. God this woman was beautiful. And apparently undeterred by her seemingly prevailing clumsiness. She nodded as she accepted the light single kisses that JJ leant in for. After a few moments they helped each other up and managed to get to the top of the stairs without any more incidents. As they walked down the landing, hands and mouths still refusing to part unless it was necessary JJ began to work on the button of Emily's shirt. As they stumbled through into her bedroom she managed to pop the last one and immediately began to tug the offending piece of clothing off of the brunette who was more than willing to help. Before she could really get a good look at Emily sans shirt though the profiler was tugging on her own top and she lifted her arms to let her pull it over her head. Only it didn't come off. Emily tugged again but somehow she had gotten stuck._

''Damnit_!''_

_Emily growled as she rolled her eyes at herself beginning to despair about her ultimate lack of smoothness tonight. It seemed the moment she had set foot into JJ's house her haphazard and awkward geek side had sprung into action. Not exactly the best way to impress a girl._

''_Em it's okay. Let's just get me out okay?'' _

_A few minutes later and JJ was free of her top. Emily handed it out to her but brown eyes looked down slightly obviously not wanting to really look at her. _

''_Sorry.''_

_JJ took the top and tossed it aside immediately. Stepping forward she lifted Emily's head back up by cupping under her chin._

''_You don't have anything to be sorry for.''_

''_I wanted this to be perfect.''_

''_It is.''_

''_I'm not exactly Miss Smooth tonight.''_

''_Who ever said you had to be? I want you to be you because that's who I want. I want _you _Emily in whatever form you come in.''_

_JJ ran her hand through silky brown locks and smiled sincerely. Her eyes were alive with the desire she felt inside and the barely contained passion. She was only just managing to restrain herself but she recognised that Emily really thought she was ruining this and she wanted her to know that she wasn't. Far from it. Taking Emily's hand she brought it down to rest on her side before leaning in to kiss her again. She smiled into the slow and deep kisses as Emily's hand started to move on its own now it was on her side and the feel of skin on skin was electrifying. _

_With only one more incident which came in the form of Emily banging her head on the headboard the rest of the night went off without a hitch. _

Emily rolled her eyes that the memory of being so goofy but JJ just chuckled and stroked her fingers down her face.

''I fell for you that night.''

Emily quirked a disbelieving eyebrow as she shot an incredulous look toward her wife.

''You did not! _That_ night? Out of all the others you had to pick from you choose the night I was all bumbling and goofy? Bumbling and goofy and not at all impressive like I should have been considering it was the first time we slept together!''

Emily protested indignantly. She didn't know which was worse. Her doing that on the night or the fact JJ had picked that night. Oh god! Somehow it had bypassed the embarrassing stories to tell friends and their wedding but Emily had no doubt that at some point the fact that she had tripped and walked into things and hit her head and got JJ stuck in her own top whilst undressing her was going to be brought up. Maybe at some kind of anniversary dinner or when she was least expecting it. Wonderful!

JJ rolled them over until she had managed to pin Emily beneath her and she was straddling her and holding her hands down by the side of her head.

''I will have you know that I did and I thought you were perfect that night. I never looked back.''

Emily smirked both mischievously and smugly as her expression turned somewhat devilish.

''Perfect in bed maybe but before that? I don't think so!''

She oozed in a confident yet sardonic drawl that made JJ nudge into her making her grunt lightly. She had to admit that when she had finally stopped banging into things or getting JJ stuck they had been lost in a world of their own. She remembered that night vividly and it had been extraordinary.

''Wiseass. _All _night Emily not just in bed. It showed me that you're so many things. That you're unique. I like all those different sides of you I always have. Granted the stubborn part of you can be a unique pain in the ass but you're hot so I overlooked that!''

The blonde explained before her own mischievous smile started to work its way onto her face as Emily widened her eyes in mock offence. The brunette wiggled underneath her and managed to topple her back off of her and onto the bed and once she did that was it. Hands found the secret ticklish spots that very few people knew about and JJ was putty in her hands. Squealing and laughing she wriggled around trying to escape Emily's attack but it was no use. Eventually she gave in and cried mercy and tickling turned into something quite different and for the second time that morning they explored one another's bodies.

An hour and a half later found JJ holding her son in her arms as she bounced lightly to the notes of the song floating from the stereo system. He laughed and gurgled around his dummy as he bounced slightly happy to be the centre of his Mother's attention and 'dancing' around with her. JJ had managed to pry herself out of bed to take a brief shower and had pulled on some jeans and a t-shirt just in time to greet Henry as he woke up hungry. Now he was changed and bathed and fed and dressed and a perfectly happy little man she had been playing with him and talking to him as she heard Emily rustling about upstairs. She'd turned some music on and was singing to him lightly which he always seemed to love.

Right now she was singing along to Imogen Heap's 'Speeding Cars' as she danced him along gently a wide smile on her face as she watched his pure unadulterated enjoyment and excitement. It was as the song finished that JJ turned around to find that Emily was stood in the doorway with camera in hand.

''How long have you been there?''

She squeaked though she failed to blush as Emily chuckled as she still held the camera up on her wife and son.

''The whole song! You're so beautiful.''

At that JJ did blush just faintly. All this time and Emily could still make her melt like that and drop just a little shy. She wondered if she would ever get used to being looked at like that. Like she was the only woman in the world. Henry jumped in her arms and babbled out some baby talk as he pointed to Emily and reached out.

''How 'bout I switch you for the hansom man you have there?''

JJ laughed at Emily joke and they stepped closer to one another. JJ took the camera from Emily as Henry lunged for her and she swooped him up easily and spun him around like a little airplane making him laugh ecstatically. JJ laughed as she stepped back and was happy to record Henry with Emily as they interacted and played together. The morning was so relaxed as they spent their time with Henry and each other. He loved having their attention and they enjoyed watching him with his toys or when he was content to crawl all over them as his playground.

XXX

To the undiscerning eye the front living room of the Prentiss household looked liked a bombsite. A very colourful, very energetic bombsite. However, this particular bombsite wasn't so much a bombsite rather than what one Henry Aiden Prentiss could consider an adventure playground. One Henry Aiden Prentiss that had situated himself happily right in the middle of this glorious chaos.

Every conceivable toy was out at Henry's disposal. Each one designed to be extremely fun and aid development at the same time. This included colourful toys that were shape sorters, action/reaction toys, musical toys, balls and baby books. Stacking, nestling and building toys and many, many others. One of Henry's favorites was the long and colourful tube that he could hide in and crawl through. Another was the stride-to-ride cart that was in the rough shape of a lion that made all sorts of sounds and had all kinds of lights on it. Another was the learning home toy that did all sorts of interesting things that made him laugh and figure out all kinds of wonderful things. There were puppets and bubble makers and everything that anyone could possibly imagine.

''Ba-ba-ba-ba…!''

Henry babbled curiously as he picked up on of the shapes and fit it into where it was supposed to go and squealed excitedly as there was a congratulatory music song and a flash of lights that made him bounce from his sitting position on the floor and clap his hands. His huge smile was radiant and infectious as big blue eyes looked over toward his Mother that sat nearby.

''Yey! Who's a smart boy, huh?''

Henry squealed again at JJ's encouragement and bounced again as one of his little hands haphazardly pointed at the toy.

''Ba-ba-ba!''

JJ laughed lightly, loving seeing her son so active and responding to everything. He loved being surrounded by all this stuff. Some would say that she and Emily had gone a little overboard with the toys but clearly he didn't think so. He always loved playing and learning at the same time and he was a curious boy, very alert and smart. He was learning so much so fast it was unbelievable. JJ could tell clearly what he was thinking and trying to get her to understand, could see his emotions and tell what he wanted without thinking about it. She sat close by to him in this bombsite of toys, camera in hand as she recorded his activities and reactions to it all. They were all so genuine and amazing, she never got tired of watching him and playing with him.

''That's right, _you_ are Henry! Talk to Mommy.''

''Ba-ba!''

JJ laughed lightly again.

''Say Ma-ma!''

Henry looked at her as he bounced and gurgled again, picking up one of the balls next to him and slobbering over it as he held it to his mouth. He looked at her inquisitively and she could see the thoughts behind his eyes. He murmured again as he thought, still watching her.

''Say Ma-ma Henry. Ma-ma…''

''Ba-ma!''

He squeaked happily. JJ laughed again.

''Almost! Good boy.''

Henry smiled and grunted squeakily before returning his attention to the toy. He investigated many of its functions and had fun doing so, and continued to babble in his baby talk and laugh and squeal as he discovered everything on the toy. When he picked up one of the little balls next to him though and wiggled he dropped it and it rolled into the tubing. He looked at it and almost gasped before turning to JJ with a 'what now' look.

''Where did it go Henry?''

Henry pointed toward the tubing and squeaked.

''Ba-ba-ba…''

''Yeah the ball went inside the tube. What're you gunna do now baby boy?''

Henry wiggled again before flopping himself around and crawling toward the tubing to investigate where the ball had gone.

''God you are so damn smart!''

JJ got up and went to the other side of the tube and laid down on her front so she could look down the tube and aim the camera down there too. She laughed as Henry reached out for the ball but just ended up batting it further away from him. This seemed to please him though and he ended up chasing it further down the tube toward her. He crawled happily further and further toward her with her encouragement and had a little investigation of the camera which meant he got his nose and mouth right up to it. She laughed as she eventually pulled it back and shut it off, leaving it by the tube to instead whisk him into her arms as she stud up, placing kisses all over him as he squealing in laughter. They had been playing together for nearly a couple of hours now and it was getting close to Henry's lunchtime.

''Are you hungry buddy? I bet you are. Let's see what we've got for you.''

Henry occupied himself with looking around and also playing with some of her hair with one hand and the necklace she had on with the other. As they rounded into the kitchen the doorbell rang. He looked up obviously recognizing the noise some how. JJ laughed and kissed him again as she chattered to him along the length of the house until she got to the door and opened it up.

''Spence, hey!''

The blonde squeaked happily pleasantly surprised to see Reid at her door. Pleasantly surprised as well as relieved of course. He looked a little worse for wear but he generally seemed okay. A little pale and tired and haunted and looked like he could use a good meal and a shower and sleep.

''Hey. I erm…I heard my godson is walking already.''

He smiled sheepishly with his hands stuffed into his pockets and rocking on the balls of his feet. He smiled at JJ as she nodded quickly and ushered him in.

''He certainly is. On the verge of saying his first word too.''

Reid smiled again. If there was one thing that could cheer him up it was usually JJ but after having Henry it was always twice as much because he loved to see her all excited and going into 'Mommy mode' about Henry it was extremely heartening. He thought she made a great parent as well as he did about Emily. If there were ever two people who could do a great job on raising a child together it was these two. They were very natural and made it look easy and effortless.

''That's great.''

JJ nodded and stilled as she looked at him affectionately.

''I'm glad you came by Spence.''

He knew she meant it and it made him feel better instantly. She took hold of his hand and squeezed it lightly before insisting that he come into the kitchen with them to get some lunch. He was put in charge with keeping Henry entertained while JJ prepared everything and he felt good playing with the baby. He was so inquisitive and smart and very, very cute. One of the only babies on the planet that didn't suffer from 'The Reid Effect'. He had been frightened when JJ had asked him at first to be his godfather but he had come to find that Henry seemed fascinated by him. It was a nice feeling and he was happy about that and enjoyed taking care of him sometimes for his friends.

As they talked about a few general things but mainly Henry and his milestones along with the little boy himself giving Reid an example of his walking. Henry used his stride-to-ride cart to hold as he took his tentative and wobbly steps across the kitchen taking pleasure in being able to do it by himself although he was followed closely by a very cautious Reid. The steps were still experimental but he was getting there.

JJ was glad to see that Reid wolfed down the sandwich she made for him quickly along with the tall glass of juice before he accepted the tea she made him. She chose tea over coffee for him because it looked like he hadn't slept and she was adamant he was going to so it meant no coffee for him. He didn't seem to mind. Actually he seemed more relaxed than when he had first gotten here. JJ fed one hungry baby his sloppy dinner as his bottle warmed up and Reid offered to give him it while she ate. They took to the living room and waded through the toys to get to the couch to sit down and after JJ had gotten Henry and Reid comfortable and made sure her son was happy taking his bottle and Reid had him in the right position she sat down herself. A long few minutes went by with Reid saying nothing but mostly looking at Henry and Henry starring back up at him and making his baby grunting noises as he drank his milk. JJ ate her lunch and then sat back to watch with her coffee.

''Spence?''

''Hmmm?''

Reid looked up and over at her like he had forgotten she was there.

''Talk to me.''

She urged softly. He sighed lightly and checked to make sure Henry was still settled as he thought of the words to say.

''I feel connected to them.''

''Them?''

''To Adam. To…Tobias Henkel. I feel connected to them.''

He said quietly but thoughtfully and with a tone that told her he was torn about what he was saying and what he felt. She knew there was something deeper to it she could see it in his eyes.

''My Mom's disease…it could…it could make me…''

He looked at her as his whispered words trailed off and she drew her head back as she started to understand what he was thinking in that head of his.

''Spence. You think you could snap like them because of the schizophrenia? That you'd become what they became?''

He dropped his eyes for a moment not to hide the tears shining there but to think for a second. Why not? It had happened to them so why couldn't it happen to him? He had always been different just like they had always been different.

''And genius is next to madness.''

He reminded. His IQ was high and maybe being so smart had helped him until now but what about later? How many sociopaths had a high IQ and geniuses had gone insane? It was a weird world like that and sometimes he thought starring into the cases they worked was starring into what he could become.

''I don't believe you could become anything like them. I don't. You're too strong for that Spence. Tobias and Adam were just little boys and that's really sad but you? Look at you. You're much stronger than you give yourself credit for and even if something does happen, even if you inherit the disease it doesn't mean you'll turn out anything like them. Or your Mother. There are a lot of people out there that don't.''

Logically he knew she was right. He had the burden of seeing the worst of everything working at the BAU it was easy to forget. It was something he feared he supposed and when he was put face to face with it like he had been he found it hard to stop thinking about and worrying about. It didn't particularly mean that he thought he was too strong like JJ thought he was but it meant something to him to have her believe it.

''You care so deeply and that's great but you need to know you're not them. You did everything you could, but you're not them. You're something entirely different.''

JJ reached forward and squeezed his shoulder which made him smile as he sniffled slightly and nodded. She ruffled his hair lightly and gave him another squeeze as he focused on Henry again. He lived in his head and sometimes he needed someone to remind him that things weren't always what he thought they were. In so many ways he was so smart and brilliant but he still needed someone to help him and guide him and explain things to him. JJ was usually that person. His big sister.

XXX

''Baby?''

Emily shrugged out of her jacket as she shut the front door and once she got it off she hung it up and put her keys down on the table before moving down the hallway. It had gotten dark about an hour ago and she was glad to be home and she liked the warmth the house held and the smell of dinner wafting through the space.

''Shhh!''

Emily jumped slightly and stepped back a couple of steps as JJ appeared out from nowhere making her startle. She frowned curiously and blinked but looked at the blonde to see that there was a finger over her mouth in gesture to be quiet. JJ took her by the hand and lead her toward the living room and pointed at one of the couches. Stepping around and closer Emily's eyebrows lifted up as she saw what JJ was trying not to disturb. Which would be Spender Reid stretched out on the couch sound asleep on his back with Henry sound asleep on top of him. Henry was resting on his front so his face was turned sideways so they could see and he looked so content having fallen asleep on Reid, who had his hands gently on Henry's back.

''You took a picture right?''

Emily whispered both amused and endeared by the sight. JJ wrapped her arms around her from behind as she scoffed in a whisper.

''Honey I took 7!''

Emily smiled and put her hands over JJ's as they rocked slightly still looking at the two sleeping men on their couch. Emily let her head rest back onto JJ's shoulder as she sighed deeply and let it out slowly.

''Is he okay?''

''He will be.''

Emily nodded. That was good enough for her she didn't want to pry unless Reid told her what was going on in his head she wasn't going to force him. He had talked to her plenty of times before but she knew that her wife and him shared a special bond that she didn't want to disrespect. She turned around in JJ's arms and looped her own around the blonde's neck.

''You know what I was thinking earlier? Henry looks more like Aiden everyday.''

She stated in a firm whisper as she smiled lightly. She had been out of the house since just before lunch to help Morgan with one of the houses he was working on to flip and the thought had randomly popped into her head. Although she had never had the opportunity to meet JJ's little brother she had heard everything about him and seen every picture there was to be seen. Including baby pictures. And when Morgan had asked earlier for new photos of Henry and she had shown them to him she had realised that he really did look like Aiden. He had the Jareau eyes and the cheeky but warm smile that both Aiden and JJ had, as well as something that no one could name. Maybe it was in the face or the eyes no one really knew but it was something. Henry had it too and she was pleased about that.

''He really does. You know if he turns out like him we're going to have one hell of a kid on our hands, right?''

Emily grinned.

''Counting on it.''


	8. Lessons

Installment for 'A Shade Of Gray'. Again thanks to all that have given feedback and been encouraging it's really good to hear back and I appreciate all the support.

XXX

The tension on the drive home was beyond tense. Neither of them had spoken and as JJ had driven through the last of the evening traffic Emily had taken to starring out of the window a scowl permanently etched onto her face. It had supposed to be a fun evening out but it had turned out to be an utter disaster. JJ could tell that Emily was livid and part of her winced internally whilst the other half was angry and geared up for a fight. A fight she knew was coming because Emily was so silent. This is what she did.

Emily had been the perfect guest but underneath that JJ knew she was seething. It was the Prentiss way something she supposed was still left over from her upbringing. Outwardly showing one thing and inwardly feeling another. JJ hated it. Emily did it every time they fought and it was so damn annoying that she had to press her buttons before she got anything out of her. But she was actually somewhat glad that they both had the ability not to start anything in front of other people.

The old college friend that JJ had run into not too long ago had invited them to dinner. And everything had been perfectly fine until halfway through and that's when things had turned sour. Not that Ollie and her fiancé Ben would have known that but JJ did.

As soon as she had stopped the car in the driveway Emily got out and slammed the door behind her as she headed up to the house without looking back. JJ sighed and sagged in her seat as she closed her eyes for a moment as her head dropped back.

''Fan-freaking-tastic.''

She had hoped this was going to be a good night. They had gotten out of work actually on time and had spent some time with Henry before getting ready. The babysitter from the agency had come on time and they had gotten ready and headed out. JJ had been excited to catch up with her old friend and it had been fun. Emily had been having fun too at first. Her hope had been to come home and have a little fun with her wife but that was completely down the drain now. It was probably going to be a long night.

The blonde got out of the car and pressed the lock and alarm as she headed up to the house. The door was still open and she pushed it closed and walked down the hallway as the babysitter came down the stairs.

''Hey, how's he been?''

JJ smiled tiredly as she rubbed her forehead looking at the younger woman in front of her.

''He's been fine, no bother at all. I just checked on him he's fast asleep.''

JJ smiled and exchanged a few more words with the sitter before showing her out and locking up after her. Clearing her throat she walked through into the kitchen to find Emily sat at the breakfast counter with a glass of wine. She threw a scowl her way as she came in.

''Okay, let's have it.''

JJ prompted as she came to a stand in the middle of the room.

''You blind sided me.''

''What?''

Emily snickered disdainfully as she looked away and then down shaking her head at the same time. She rolled her tongue along her lips before looking back up.

''You slept with her. You actually slept with her.''

She spat accusingly. JJ flailed.

''_In_ _college_!''

''So? You should have told me JJ.''

''Do I know everyone you've slept with? No! What difference does it make?''

Emily rolled her eyes. She could not believe this. She didn't think she was over bearing or too over protective, she wasn't an extraordinarily jealous person and she trusted her wife. But she expected her to tell her certain things in the understanding that she needed to know even though she knew nothing was going to happen. She felt betrayed; she felt like she had been at a disadvantage and she felt like she knew Ollie had known that. Like someone that JJ hadn't seen in years still knew her enough to know she wouldn't have uttered a word about their past to her. And what did that say about them? Did she take it for granted that JJ told her things? What else hadn't she told her? She was so angry. She could have dealt with the fact that they had been sleeping together in college but being left in the dark and going to that dinner to find out through a slip of the tongue was not fair. And she had seen the way that Ollie had looked at JJ, and then looked at her with a knowing look. It hadn't been menacing but had simply stated clearly 'I got there first'. It had been insulting.

''Do I fucking ask you to go and hang out with _anyone _I've slept with? You owed me the truth and you didn't say a word. You let me find out through _her_.''

''I didn't think she'd bring it up.''

JJ yelled quickly making Emily's head recoil backward.

''Oh so you were going to keep it from me and not tell me at all.''

''That's not what I said…''

''Yes it is. If you had wanted me to know you would have told me. I would have dealt with it.''

JJ sighed and ran a hand through her hair as she turned around to take a breath. God Emily was being so obstinate. That is not what she had said but clearly the brunette wasn't listening.

''Do you still have feelings for her?''

At that JJ spun around her eyes narrowing sharply.

''Excuse me?''

''Do you?''

''No! Jesus christ Emily. You think I went there for that?''

Emily shrugged coldly.

''Did you?''

''I can't believe this. You don't trust me?''

''I did…should I?''

JJ took a step back as the air was pushed out of her chest. She didn't think she was upset but she felt the emotion well up inside and thicken inside her chest and throat as tears formed in her eyes. It was possibly one of the cruelest things that Emily had ever said to her. Doubting her, not trusting her like that. Thinking that she was cold enough to do that. To not only lie to her but to deceive her. But not even only to deceive her but take her along to somewhere where this supposed object of her fancy was.

''You…wow…I don't even…god damnit Emily. Is that what you think of me? You think that's the kind of person I am? Take the wife to dinner and get a little strange when I'm there with the girl I haven't thought about for years?''

''Maybe.''

''You know what fuck you.''

Emily moved instantly as JJ turned to leave the kitchen. After making it across the large space she grabbed her arm to stop her and pulled her around again.

''She still wants you and you fucking know it. I had to sit there with her looking at me like it didn't matter what we had because she got there first and she knew, she absolutely knew, that you hadn't told me.''

JJ tried to shrug out of Emily's grasp but it didn't do any good.

''So is that what this is? Who can claim bragging rights to me? She remind you that you're not my first? That she along with however else many have touched me? Sorry to disappoint but I'm not an angel and I'm sorry you had to settle for tainted goods.''

''Don't say that.''

''Why? Apparently you think I'm a whore so…''

She was surprised to say the least at being cut off by Emily kissing her. It was forceful and controlling and demanding and she supposed it was widely inappropriate for the moment but she didn't care. All she could do was kiss back when her brain kicked back into gear. Her mind whirled with all the emotion that she was feeling and an ounce of confusion but at the same time she knew why this was happening too. It was probably the only way either one of them was going to get anything out of their system. To vent the anger and be able to express themselves properly after the rest had been drawn out through the physical. Because right now they wanted to hurt one another with words and with actions. She didn't know if sex would solve anything right now but it was happening and neither one of them could stop it.

It was rough and raw with their anger and frustration being vented and their pain fucking away. Everything was a dominance test and it was aggressive and almost cold. The unfeeling they showed each other was actually underlined by the profound heat and emotion they held for each other that was not lost but drowned out by the other emotions that had been provoked tonight. It wasn't just a battle for dominance but a show of evidence, of proof. JJ wanted to prove that she craved one person only and Emily wanted to prove that she was hers only.

After they had finished after they had vented all they could vent and had nothing left not only physically but emotionally and verbally they just looked at one another for a moment before separating. JJ walked out onto the deck of the back garden because she needed to breathe and Emily went upstairs and took some sleepwear from the bedroom before grabbing a couple of things from the bathroom and walked out again. She set herself up in the spare room and changed before she walked into the nursery to check on her son. It was only then that she felt the tears well in her eyes and she wiped them away and took in a large shaky breath. After leaving Henry to his sleep she closed the door of the spare room and exhausted from the sudden night of emotion and exertion she fell into slumber. She didn't hear JJ close the door to their bedroom.

XXX

Emily had a throbbing headache when she started to come around. Instinctually she reached out across the bed and her stomach sank at the realisation that she had slept alone last night. It wasn't all that often she did anymore and her body was used to the warmth and presence of JJ right there beside her. She was used to being able to reach out and touch her to snuggle up and breath in the smell of her skin and hair. That's what she yearned for right now.

But the events of last night were still swirling through her mind. She still felt the betrayal and anger she had felt last night, still remembered the look that Ollie had given her along with some few remarks that were meant to hit her where it hurt. And it had. It hurt that JJ hadn't trusted her enough not to react to the fact Ollie was an ex lover. She didn't care about that. Although it hadn't been a relationship in standard definition as she had come to figure out, more of a relaxed relationship with extremely good benefits. Benefits that Ollie had made certain to let Emily knew she'd had. It had made her even angrier that she had been so disrespectful. Whatever happened between them had happened but JJ was married and had a son now, Emily found it distasteful that Ollie would do the things she had done last night.

The brunette breathed in deeply and rolled onto her back as she rubbed her face to try and wake up. It had been the sounds of movement and crying that had woken her up. Henry was crying and by the sounds of it JJ had gone in to tend to him. The crying soothed but after a couple of minutes there was movement again. She looked at the door as it was opened and JJ stepped inside but only just in the threshold. She looked tired and a little pale and her hair was tied back. Actually she was dressed in her running things and looked like she had been out already. In one arm she held Henry who sat on her hip with his dummy in his mouth and looking around sleepily and in her other hand JJ held her phone.

''Get up we have a case.''

And with that the door closed again. Emily sighed, it just never stopped.

XXX

''Mrs. Murphy? Do you want to take a break?''

She hated this. She hated the look of devastation and hopelessness inside this woman's eyes and the dull colour replacing the sparkle Emily was sure would have been there before. She had hated these cases before but especially now after Henry had been born she hated them more. It was her job to drag these parents kicking and screaming through what was no doubt to them redundant questions. Cognitive badgering to remember insignificant details of a life they once thought was safe. To go over ever detail of that life with their baby boy and hear things about the person that could have taken him. Emily guessed it was like torture.

Mrs. Murphy excused herself to lie down stumbling along the way like she didn't know where she was going. She wasn't on this level of reality. Something had been ripped away from her and it had left her despondent and destitute. Emily pushed on. It was her job right? She had to swallow it all. She needed those details. As much as she hated getting them this way they would help her find their son. Her and the team. She pushed down her role as a Mother forcing it to remain quiet for the time being because she knew as an Agent that this had to be done.

''Mr. Murphy, we are going to do everything we can to find Kyle.''

It was both as an Agent and as a Mother she could promise that. They would do everything in their power to get this little boy home safe to his parents so they could hold him again. The urge to hold Henry hit her hard. So hard it practically stole the air from her chest.

''Thank you.''

Mr. Murphy, so sad and broken looking, wiped a hand over his face as he trembled and tried to reason with what was going on. But he couldn't.

''Are you married Agent Prentiss?''

Emily looked up from scribbling a notation in her notepad, stalling for just a second but the look in his eyes made her compelled to answer.

''Yes Sir.''

''Kids?''

''One…''

She cleared her throat lightly.

''A son.''

He nodded, that wave of sadness sweeping over him but he smiled just ever so faintly as he looked at her.

''I thought I could protect them. I thought…I didn't expect…I don't know how this could happen. He…he's my little boy. And my wife…oh god…''

The dam finally broken and Mr. Murphy hung his head his body lurching as he sobbed into his hands. This unknown force had wrecked his family that he had been incapable of stopping. It was clear he loved his family very much. That yesterday he had been a happy man with a happy wife and happy sons. And within the blink of an eye it had been stolen out from under him.

At any point in time the same could happen to her. Anything could happen in normal circumstances but in their line of work it was even worse. They still had a narcissistic killer out loose somewhere that would be planning out just how to get their team. Anything could happen. And in the face of this and that thought the fight last night began to seem so petty to her. She was still thick with emotion over it but this was her marriage, her family. She didn't like the thought of something coming between them when it didn't have to, especially when JJ or herself could be hurt or killed on this job so easily.

They were extremely lucky for what they had together. Extremely lucky that they had found something so deep and all consuming. They had survived every obstacle so far and without JJ Emily didn't think she'd be half the person she was right now. Didn't think she would have gotten through certain things and definitely couldn't have coped through others without JJ's strength and support and belief. She was her world and so was Henry. It was days like this that gave her a stark wake up call.

XXX

JJ could not believe how many sex offenders there were registered in such a relatively small distance. Actually it made her feel sick. Wading through these files made her feel sick. Seeing was these predators' preferences were. What kind of things they liked to do to them. She had looked at her Blackberry who knew how many times now and felt the welt of pain for her son. For these people. For every person that had lost a child to these monsters. But that's why she did this. Because she was so sickened by it that she had to help do something about it. But it terrified her. Now more than ever. Now it wasn't just herself she had to think about. Now it wasn't even just Emily she had to think about. It was Henry too. Thinking about what and where was safe for him. Keeping suspicious of anyone that came near him because the files in her office gave her very real nightmares on what could and did happen out there.

It was hard to look at his picture now but she couldn't not. It brought some comfort to her even in the midst of all this depravity and reminded her why she was doing this and kept her doing her best.

''He was too busy with them to make any calls or spend any money.''

Another shudder rippled through her as her stomach churned. That was not a delightful thought but at least she had gotten somewhere and now thanks to Garcia's help at least they had found their suspect. One she prayed to anything that was listening got a rough ride from Morgan who would undoubtedly pounce on him the moment he was able.

''My mind is currently working over time to _not _think about what that means.''

Garcia was grimacing that much JJ could tell down the phone. It was particularly abhorrent to think about she couldn't blame her friend for trying not to. She took a long breath in as she ran a hand over her face before sighing the air out again slowly.

''Baby Jay you sound tired.''

''Exhausted.''

JJ corrected in a murmur her eyes scanning the busy bullpen.

''Trouble in paradise my love?''

''Kinda.''

''Talk to your Oracle my sweet, she has an answer for all.''

JJ sighed again. Clearing her throat she scanned around again. Everyone was busy and paying not the slightest bit of attention to her conversation.

''Emily and I had a fight last night, it's pretty bad. We said some things…I dunno, it's just not great right now.''

''Kitten, was there anything said that can't be unsaid and made better?''

''No.''

''Then fret not. You'll sort things out. Knowing you both you'll be so affected by what's happening that you'll end up thinking whatever you fought about is trivial and you'll remember you love each other, have some fantastic make up sex and be merrily married again! I foresee it.''

JJ smiled. Garcia seemed to always know what to say to at least cheer her up. But she did have a point. In light of today they probably would be much more open to each other later.

''You foresee it huh? Why exactly are you '_foreseeing'_ our sex life?''

She teased sardonically. She swore she could actually hear the grin emerge onto Garcia's face.

''Libra and Aquarius baby, it ain't any mystery!''

XXX

''Can I get you anything Mrs. Seager? Water?''

JJ kept hold of the trembling and distraught woman as she lead her out of the observation room. Her husband had walked off into the general direction of the men's room, stoic and withdrawn. But his wife remained with her a trembling mess as she sniffled and wiped at the tears that kept pooling in her eyes. She nodded unsteadily and JJ nodded too, only letting her go for a minute as she went to the water cooler and poured out a cup of water.

''Why don't we get some air?''

The woman nodded numbly again and JJ led her out of the hustle and bustle of the bullpen. Everything was loud and brash and chaotic in there. Once outside Mrs. Seager took a large breath and took the water that JJ handed her.

''I am _so _sorry for what happened to your son, I promise you we won't let him get away with it.''

''I don't know if its better, seeing is face or not. The face of the man that destroyed my family.''

JJ nodded faintly. She didn't know whether it was worse or not either. She followed Mrs. Seager to a nearby bench and perched on the edge of it leaning forward slightly so her elbows were propped on her knees. They sat in silence for a few moments as Mrs. Seager drank her water and took deep breaths in and out to try and calm down. After a few moments she breathed in deeply and turned her head toward JJ who seemed to be lost in watching her fingers twirl her wedding band around her finger.

''What do you have?''

JJ looked up momentarily lost but when she looked into the other woman's eyes she knew what she was being asked.

''I have a boy.''

She replied gently.

''How old?''

''Just over 8 months.''

Mrs. Seager smiled faintly.

''Do you have a picture…I mean if you don't mind?''

JJ saw the need in the older woman's face and cleared her throat lightly as she nodded and got out her Blackberry. She brought up a picture of Henry sat in the midst of his toys and at the time he had been bouncing on his butt with his hands in the air and laughing at something stupid Emily was doing to make him laugh. The memory pulled at her heartstrings. Those moments were so precious and so ridiculously wonderful. Not just for Henry but for them too, for them all together.

''What's his name?''

''Henry.''

Mrs. Seager smiled lightly as she continued to look at the picture. After a few moments she gave JJ her phone back and glanced at the gun on her hip.

''Have you ever used your weapon Agent Jareau?''

JJ nodded but frowned slightly.

''Yes Ma'am.''

''Good. Always be prepared to use it again, nothing you think is safe really is. Not even your home or your marriage.''

With that Mrs. Seager stood up abruptly and walked away. JJ was left sitting on her own a little shocked and a lot thoughtful as everything in what she had just been told hit her.

XXX

Everything escalated from there. Emily didn't think it was possible but she did. She had seen JJ once and there interaction had been minimal and work orientated. Part of her felt glad to be out most of the time but part of her just wanted to be near the blonde. She definitely didn't savor the experience of finding Kyle's body in the woods. Or getting that sickened feeling in her stomach as soon as she saw him that Hugh Rollins didn't kill him. She remembered what she had said earlier to Mr. Murphy about someone having known that house and them.

Everything moved so quickly as the suspicion turned onto Detective Lancaster and Emily watched the videotape with Reid like Hotch had instructed them to. That's when she noticed. That's when she found herself back in the car on her way to the Murphy household her laptop with the footage on it coming along with her. Something wasn't right and she didn't know quite what it was yet but she had a gut feeling that Lancaster wasn't the only suspicious one in this tale.

She went to provoke a reaction. To push buttons and see what happened see if she couldn't pry anything loose. These people were lying, covering something up and she wasn't going to let them keep doing it. Their son was dead. He was their baby and they were lying to everyone.

Upon getting nowhere Emily had no choice but to get them to the station. With Lancaster in the box with Rossi and with the Murphy's there they could unravel this mystery. See what really happened to that poor little boy.

It was bizarre to her the behaviour they were displaying. As she stood in the break room of the station she watched how the couple coddled one another, their son sat on the other side of the table alone. She couldn't stop watching him. It wasn't a wonder that she couldn't as she talked to him the grizzly details coming out of the mouth of such a little boy. It made her shiver at how cool he was in his retelling of what he had done. How unbothered he was that he had killed his brother. It was hard for her to swallow after everything that had happened both at home and here today. Hard to swallow that one brother had turned on the other. A big brother was supposed to be there for the younger one and this kid had murdered him for breaking his damn airplane.

Sometimes Emily didn't think she could keep on listening to things like this.

XXX

''Prentiss needs to see this.''

JJ nodded grimly still trying to fathom in her head what the hell had gone wrong with this boy enough to make him such a callous murderer. It was one thing to snap and kill your brother but quite another to shove plane parts down his throat. They had dealt with child killers before but they always seemed so much creepier. Like evil had found its home early and sucked them devoid of everything a little kid was supposed to have.

JJ took in a breath before she walked into the break room where Emily was sitting with Danny. He was sat quietly just eating his snack and as soon as JJ looked at her wife she caught the whirlwind of emotion running through her eyes. She approached her and handed her the autopsy sheet, not being able to stop herself from looking at Danny for a moment as Emily stood and read over the harrowing report.

''Can you stay with him?''

JJ looked back at Emily as she felt her hand on her arm. The touch was warm and comforting and Emily squeezed lightly obviously troubled by the autopsy report but also wanting to ground both of them for a second. This was such a tragic happening and they both knew that this could be anybody's kid. This kid could have killed anybody else's kid too, not just his brother which was bad enough. With the momentary touch and the fleeting glance JJ could almost hear Emily telling her that what happened last night wasn't worth it when this was what they had to contend with.

''Of course.''

That was it. Case solved. Usually they felt better about closing a case but this one brought solace to no one. Hugh Rollins had obviously killed more boys than they had thought, Detective Lancaster had ruined his career, Kyle had lost his life and the Murphy's had lost not one son but two. One to the other. One to death and one to sociopathy.

XXX

Henry continued to babble gently as he sat contentedly on top of Emily's stomach as she laid out on the couch. He was all ready for bed now and she could tell he was getting tired. It was getting late but part of her had no desire to encourage him to go asleep, mesmerized by every movement and sound and expression he made. His little blue eyes fascinated by the small blanket he was playing with and trying to unfold. It was the simplest things sometimes that gave him the most amusement.

They had been home for a few hours now but they hadn't really said much to each other. Both she and JJ were obviously just trying to process the day that had occurred. Each had had a very different day but it had hit them both hard. They'd tried to eat but only managed a little and now Henry was settled JJ had gone to shower after she had been playing with him. Now Emily just watched him and held a hand at the side of his hip to make sure he didn't topple over.

Right then is when he yawned widely and the dummy fell out of his mouth. He squeaked in surprise and Emily laughed lightly. He looked at her with bright eyes that were still full of surprise and some amusement. The look subsided to another yawn and his eyes began to droop.

''Hey tired little man. I think it might be your bedtime.''

Emily stroked the fine blonde hair on his head and moved lifting him up at the same time to cuddle him in her arms. His head instantly nudged into her shoulder and by the time that she had walked him up the stairs he was asleep.

''I love you so much. So much I don't even know how to describe. You and Mommy mean everything to me and I won't let anything happen to you. I would die before I let anything happen to you Henry. You're safe baby, you're safe.''

Emily placed a long kiss on her son's forehead and blinked back the tears that had emerged as she cleared her throat quietly and sniffled a little. Henry wasn't Danny. He never would be. Henry wasn't Kyle either or any of the little boys that had been stolen away from the parents they saw. He was _their _little boy. Hers and JJ's and he had an advantage. He had two parents that had the training and the abilities they had along with what amounted to 5 guns in the house. Two FBI issue, two back ups of their own and one that Emily had had for a while because she liked it. He'd never get his hands on them but they could if they needed to quickly.

Emily placed him into the crib carefully and helped him snuggle in. He took a big breath and let it out again and she smiled lightly. She put the night light on and inched out of the room leaving it ajar before walking down the hall and heading downstairs again.

Then she did something that she very rarely did. Walking through the house and into the den Emily opened one of the desk draws and routed for what she was looking for. When she found it she grabbed the carton and then walked through to the kitchen and opened the back door and stepped out onto the deck. The night air was cool and fresh and still.

She sparked up the cigarette that she took from the carton with the lighter and inhaled a long slow drag. She closed her eyes for a moment as she adjusted to that feeling and rush of nicotine and smoke before she let it out in a long breath.

She glanced to her side as she caught the movement in the corner of her eye. JJ stood about a foot away from her to her side also up to the railing of the deck. Emily could smell the shampoo and shower gel and the combined fragrance smelt good. Smelt like home.

''Is our marriage safe, Em?''

The question was gentle. It was the only thing JJ could think about at this very second. After such a day she had been thinking about many things. It made you question a lot of things. And she had stepped inside her home to feel its warmth and spirit and comfort, looked at the pictures of their life together and greeted her son into her arms as she squealed in delight at their return. He had felt good. Heavy in her arms and warm and soft and happy. She as well as Emily had made sure to spend time with him and now he was sleeping soundly upstairs in his room. His room that was secure. Their house was secure. And although she had seen a horror story tonight she couldn't take on board what Mrs. Seager had told her. She had to believe that her home was safe because otherwise she'd never leave it.

She looked at Emily who took another drag and held the smoke in as she thought before letting it out again and looking at her.

''I don't think you're a whore.''

She stated simply and truthfully. It had been sticking in her mind since JJ said it last night and it was the first thing that she wanted to say.

''Emily I didn't tell you about Ollie and me because I forgot. I feel so indifferent to it that it just never occurred to me. It was so long ago and so much has happened since. You and Henry have happened since. I wasn't keeping anything from you.''

JJ shrugged lightly as if to say that she didn't have anything else in way of explanation to offer. Because she really didn't. Because that really was it. It had meant nothing to her. In hindsight she thought she should have thought about it properly. From that day of bumping into Ollie at the park though she hadn't even thought about their past. She had just been happy to see an old friend and interested to her what she had been doing. It had gone right over her head that what happened between them still hung in the air.

''I do trust you. I was thrown. She just…she got to me. I shouldn't have let her but she did and she made me doubt you and I'm sorry for that.''

''I would never do that to you. Not ever.''

''I know. I know that I do. It wasn't that I thought you would I just…it was the look. Just the knowing that you hadn't told me. It made me doubt the communication between us and I guess I felt like you couldn't trust me to handle it. The rest was stupidity on my part. I shouldn't have acted like that, I never meant to imply that I had settled or that I have some sort of ownership on you. You don't _belong_ to me.''

JJ stepped a little closer.

''Yes I do. I do belong to you, and you belong to me. What she got was nothing compared to anything you did. I was 19 then I'm not even the same. I didn't give her anything. But I've given you everything. And it's that everything that makes us belong to each other. It's our son that makes us belong to each other. And after a day like today we need to _know _that. I need us to be safe.''

Emily reached out and tucked a piece of wayward blonde hair behind JJ's ear and smiled gently.

''We're safe. I'm sorry Jennifer.''

''I'm sorry too.''

Both of them leaned in to share a slow intimate kiss.

''I love you.''

JJ whispered against the brunette's mouth arms looping around her neck as they pressed close together. She could feel Emily's hand on her skin on her side where her t-shirt had ridden up as she'd lifted her arms up.

''I love you too.''

''So put the smoke out and come to bed.''

Emily smiled and did as she was told. She stubbed the smoke out and kissed JJ again before the blonde stepped away but held her hand out. She took it and let herself be led back inside the house. Everything that had happened last night and everything they had been through today was healed within the connection they shared, the one they explored that night which was something entirely different from the previous.


	9. Trust

Set around 'The Big Wheel'. Sorry for the major delay I was completely stumped for ideas for a while.

XX

''Hey, hey, hey baby boy…it's okay, shhh, everything okay.''

Emily reached inside the crib to pick up her distraught and wailing son that already had a red face and tears streaming down his chubby little cheeks. He continued to scream as he was picked up but he had reached out for Emily and now clung to her desperately as she took him into her arms and held him protectively. Henry had gone to sleep just over an hour ago and JJ had put him to bed but now he had been woken up presumably by the clash of outrageously loud thunder over the house. The storm had just picked up out of nowhere it had been fine just a little earlier but now it was thundering and raining hard with a few flashes of lightening streaking across the sky. Considering that the roll of thunder had actually startled Emily she thought she could cut her son some slack from being disturbed from sleep in such a way it must have been horribly frightening for him.

''S'okay Henry, Mommy's here.''

Emily rubbed up and down Henry's back as he continued to cling onto her with his little face buried in her shoulder. She could feel every shudder of his body as he cried his breath ragged and uneven. He was really worked up. The brunette kept whispering by his ear soothingly as she rubbed his back and walked out of his nursery and down the hall to her and JJ's bedroom. As she walked in she flicked on the light switch for the side lamps and walked over to the vanity to grab the box of tissues and the wipes that were for some reason on there too. Tossing them onto the bed Emily moved to sit down on it before she moved Henry in her arms. She lifted him up with both hands and suspending him in the air so she could look at him probably and wiggle him a little bit. His face was still a little red and tear stained but he seemed to have stopped most of the actual crying and was just sniffling now.

''Who's a hansom boy? You are! Yeah you are!''

The brunette cooed enthusiastically before tipping him forward and peppering his face with quick and happy kisses that make him gurgle and giggle lightly. Which was exactly the response she was looking for. As she began to play with him his laughter got louder until his little blue eyes were sparkling again and the rain and thunder outside didn't both him. All he was focused on was her and she was making him comfortable and happy. As she laid him down on his back on the bed to grab the wipes she cleaned his face, squeezing his nose sometimes which made him stir and giggle as he tried to catch her hand. She kept talking to him and laughing with him, blowing raspberries on his tummy and tickling him softly. His laughter was infectious she loved seeing him like this. It was a much better sound than his crying which always made her go into alert and protective Mother mode in which she would be capable of defending him from a gorilla if need be.

''You're my beautiful boy, yes you are! My little chubby chub!''

Emily tickled him again as he cooed before she picked him up and kissed him on his head as she held him. Standing up again she began to pace the room as she rocked him gently to try and encourage him to sleep again now that he'd started yawning again. There was a noise from downstairs that Emily knew was the front door and she breathed in deeply as she glanced in the direction of the doorway for a moment.

''That sounds like your Mommy. And if it's any consolation I'm guessing she got it worse than you did with this storm.''

She whispered lightly to her sleepy son. She could tell that he had already almost drifted off to the point of no return. He was a pretty good sleeper and now that he wasn't frightened and he was all happy and safe again sleep would catch up with him once more. So by the time Emily heard squelching footsteps on the stairs Henry was out again sleeping soundly in her arms.

''Where the hell did that come from?''

A rather pissed off JJ asked as she walked into the bedroom soaking wet from being out in the rain. She looked over at Emily and then stalled as she saw Henry.

''Is he okay?''

Emily nodded lightly.

''Yeah, the thunder frightened him. I'm going to put him down again.''

JJ nodded and watched as Emily walked out of the room with their sleeping boy. The blonde was completely soaked to the bone and she wasn't all that pleased about it. But she supposed that's just how it went sometimes. She walked over to the vanity and ruffled around her wet running clothes to unclip her back up weapon she had taken and put it onto the top before she peeled her FBI hoodie off of her. She turned around again as Emily stepped back into the room and closed the door behind them. The brunette was already dressed for bed JJ noticed.

''I'm soaked through, I need a shower.''

The blonde observed as she watched her wife move across to the bay window and shut a couple of the bigger windows. JJ didn't know why she felt awkward. She shouldn't have it was Emily for crying out loud. But ever since they had had that fight things had been…well, awkward. Not in a very bad way but it was still pretty obvious there were some remnants from their fight hanging over their heads. She had been thinking a lot about it on her run tonight.

The night air was fresh and peaceful and it was one of the reasons the blonde like to run in the evenings. It had been something that had become a habit way back when she had been at home when she could roam the countryside without a problem. When she couldn't sleep or something was weighing heavily on her mind.

The truth was that it was Emily that was weighing heavily on her mind. Emily and their relationship at the moment. JJ didn't know if it was just the argument they'd had or that they'd had it followed by such a case. Things were still a little soar and vulnerable and despite that they were soft and loving with each other they were still missing something that was usually there. If she thought about it harder then she thought maybe Emily was feeling like she had hurt her, not just emotionally but physically and she knew that her wife had a lot of hang ups about that. But she really hadn't hurt her like that. The sex in the kitchen had been rough, no doubt about it. It had been all anger and frustration and they had been venting on each other. But Emily hadn't come near the subject and JJ wasn't sure if she could get her to any time soon. The only time they'd had sex after that was that night after the case, which had been all soft and gentle and loving. After that, nothing. And truth be told, despite what was going on JJ was starting to feel it. She certainly wasn't used to a lack of sex in their relationship.

The blonde wished now that she had just told Emily outright about her time with Ollie in college. It would have been so much simpler. But she really had forgotten about it all. It was so insignificant to her now that she hadn't even thought about it all she saw was Emily. If she had known that Ollie had planned on making sure Emily knew then she would never have accepted the invitation and if she had known that Ollie still wanted her she sure as hell wouldn't have traded numbers at the park that day. But she hadn't seen it. To her it was done. The sophomore year of Pittsburgh was a long time ago and their relationship hadn't been serious so much as casual fun. And at the time she'd had a lot of fun. At the time she'd actually liked the other girl and had enjoyed hanging out with her and glad that she didn't want anything serious either. After that year Ollie had moved away and that was that. JJ didn't think she had thought of her that often but didn't even think she had thought of her at all since Emily had walked into her life. She was everything. Her and Henry.

She loved this woman so much that it actually hurt sometimes. Which was why she was finding it so hard now and why she was desperately trying to find a way to make Emily believe that she hadn't hurt her in such a way that she could cast back to her Father. It had never been like that and JJ knew it wouldn't ever be.

''Em?''

Emily turned around as she approached her side of the bed, looking at her as she pulled the cover back.

''Yeah?''

JJ swallowed and cleared her throat to push back her nerves.

''Do you erm…do you wanna join me?''

JJ caught the flash of something in Emily's eyes which was quickly pushed away before her eyes looked away for a moment. She knew right then what the answer would be.

''I'm really tired JJ I think I'm just gunna sleep.''

The blonde nodded and cleared her throat again lightly as she tried to hide the wave of emotion it caused to run through her. The vulnerability and the hurt, the rejection too. She knew it wasn't a rejection of her per say but it kind of felt like it right now. She supposed you always filled in the blanks when you didn't quite know what was going on. And after the things said the other night she was feeling particularly delicate anyway. It had just been a stupid fight because of a stupid miscommunication but she really had started worrying now that Emily did actually see her as tainted goods. Which was insane because logically she knew that wasn't true. Her heart knew that wasn't true because she knew how much Emily loved her but with everything just in the air the little paranoid voices in her head were starting to weight in. she was trying her best to ignore them. She had to keep reminding herself that a lot of this was Emily's fear that she had been, in what the brunette would consider, abusive toward her.

By the time JJ had finished her shower and changed Emily was either asleep or pretending to be. With her hair almost dry from being toweled and then tied up JJ climbed into bed and gazed over Emily for a second.

''I love you so, so much Em. Please talk to me.''

The whisper didn't cause a stir and JJ moved her hand to brush away some rogue strands of silky dark hair and stroke along the side of pale smooth skin. Emily really was asleep. The blonde leant over to place a long single kiss on her forehead before sighing lightly and hunkering down into the bed before reaching out to switch the light off.

Somewhere in the night the storm had quietened and come morning it was like it had never happened. And somewhere in the night the two women had entangled themselves with one another. As they had stirred awake it had been comfortable and warm and hopeful, and JJ had accepted a light kiss from the brunette before the older woman pulled up out of bed to go put on some coffee and get Henry's breakfast ready. JJ was left wondering yet again what the hell to do. It was this that confused her. Waking up so close and content with morning kisses almost like normal.

XXX

''Agent Jareau?''

JJ lurched as she stopped in her tracks and turned around to the voice that had called to her across the bullpen as she had been making her way toward Hotch's office after a particularly delightful meeting with the firing squad a couple of floors up. Trying to explain the whys and what for's to a bunch of suits with no field experience was probably the worst part of her job but it had to be done she guessed. It left her with a few files in her hands, her eyes scanning a long assed memo that was resting atop them and her pen in her mouth.

''Hmm?''

JJ's eyebrows quirked as she looked over at one of the BAU staffers. The receptionist had worked here quite some time and JJ thought she was nice. Right now the slightly older woman was wiggling the receiver of a phone in gesture.

''You have a call from a Detective Lynn Henderson.''

Buffalo. Lynn Henderson was Buffalo. They had already spoken a couple of times since last week and JJ was tracking the cases progress and figured something else must have happened after their conversation. Henderson was a straight shooter she was genuinely trying to do everything to catch a killer but her job was already made more difficult simply by the fact that it was Buffalo.

''I'll take it in my office, thanks Claire.''

The woman nodded and JJ changed her direction to walk out of the bullpen and down the hall to her office. Dumping the files onto her desk the blonde reached over and grabbed the phone and pressed the blinking light.

''Detective Henderson this is Agent Jareau, how can I help?''

XXX

Emily was the first one onto the plane and she sighed softly before scooting into the isle window seat at the table. Her mind was occupied both by the case they were now working on and also things with JJ. She knew that the blonde wasn't sure what was happening although she figured she had a good clue as to why but she couldn't seem to be able to get herself to say or do anything about it. she was feeling just as vulnerable about it all and just as afraid. Maybe more so. No one seemed to have noticed or if they had then they hadn't pried. Yet. JJ had looked at her almost longingly a couple of times during the briefing but she had remained silent and professional. The briefing had really been the only time she'd spoken to JJ since they had set off for work this morning apart from when her wife had muttered her intention to call Annette as she had left the round table room. Emily was pretty sure after that and preparing JJ had gone to hang out with Garcia.

At least she had the case for a little distraction though right? Not that she considered it a distraction she didn't belittle it like that. Maybe after she could do something about her marriage but right now Buffalo needed some help.

''You okay Prentiss?''

Emily blinked and turned to look at Morgan who had sat down beside her at some point. She wondered when he had come in and wondered when she had taken to starring out of the window.

''Yeah. Yeah sorry, I was just thinking.''

Morgan looked at her for a few seconds longer before nodding. Both of them seemed to understand that he didn't believe her but he was respecting her space right now because she wasn't ready to talk. She smiled faintly at him appreciative that she wasn't about to get the third degree and then looked up as voices filtered into the jet. Mainly Garcia's grumbling's of having to muster up a go bag. Reid practically dived into the window seat opposite Emily before Garcia huffed as she sat down. Wordlessly now they got their stuff out as Hotch and Rossi came to sit down.

''Where's JJ?''

Reid wondered.

''Telling the pilots we're ready.''

The boy genius nodded in understanding and almost seconds later JJ herself emerged. This time Emily was sure that no one missed the small and quick but disheartened and still vulnerable look she gave Emily before clearing her throat and looking away. As Emily looked at the table for a second the others cast a wondering glance between one another. It was half concern and half awkwardness.

''Hey. You got Henry sorted?''

Garcia reached out to give her friends knee a squeeze which made JJ look back up and smile a little. Not the smile she usually had to offer but it was something.

''Yeah, thanks.''

Garcia nodded as she passed JJ a 'I'm your best friend and know something's wrong and I'm here for you' look which to say it was a rather big meaning to get across she did it well. JJ smiled and nodded faintly in understanding. The chatter for the case continued.

XXX

''Detective Henderson?''

JJ had been pointed to the Detective and now reached out a hand toward her as the woman turned around at her name.

''Agent Jareau, my team is right behind me.''

The Detective raised her hand and shook JJ's politely although she looked at JJ with surprise.

''Something wrong?''

''Oh, no. Sorry. I mean…don't take this the wrong way, I was just expecting someone…older?''

JJ just smiled.

''Yeah I get that a lot, don't worry about it.''

''Okay. Not that I'm complaining!''

The blonde narrowed her eyes curiously and opened her mouth to speak but she was cut off by the arrival of everyone else. She had wanted to know what the officer had meant by that but there really wasn't any time. Instead everyone got focused on getting situated and JJ started to organise and correlate and scan every new outlet known to man and do all the things she did under the radar.

XXX

''Jayj?''

A soft grunt came from JJ's direction as Garcia approached her as she was engrossed in reading. When Garcia said nothing else JJ looked up at her curiously.

''You found something?''

The analyst shook her head before looking up to Reid and Rossi where they were huddled at the other side of the room in deep thought mode. Letting out a sigh as she sat down Garcia gestured for JJ to turn to her properly as she shook her head.

''No love, I wanted to make sure you were okay.''

JJ cleared her throat as her eyes faltered slightly. When she looked back at Garcia the analyst almost flinched as she was met with stone walled eyes, the steely expression of a professional. The one JJ used usually in front of stroppy press members.

''I'm fine, Garcia. We have a lot to do so…''

''You're not fine.''

Garcia whispered back harshly in protest. JJ stalled and sighed, turning around to check that the guys were still muttering to themselves. She was so so she turned back to her friend slowly as she pushed a strand of loose hair back where it should have been.

''No, I'm not. But I'd rather not talk about it here. Or yet.''

''I'm just worried 'bout you sweetie. And Emily.''

Garcia brought out the worried puppy dog eyes and JJ relented in her aloof manner. She smiled softly as she reached out to squeeze her friend's arm as she nodded. Garcia could be more observed than anyone else JJ had ever met. When it came to the ones she loved and cared about nothing seemed to slip under the radar.

XXX

It was much later that JJ sighed as she walked into the break area of the station. After she had dealt with the media and the surrounding authorities and gone through a tree worth of paper work. The place was darkened now and she was returning the mug she had taken earlier and topped up throughout the day. Now that it was quiet her thoughts started to creep back onto her wife. Who she hadn't seen practically all day. JJ had seen Morgan and Hotch but had yet to set eyes on Emily and wondered if she was avoiding her.

''Agent Jareau?''

JJ turned quickly, startled by the voice because she hadn't noticed anyone behind her. Henderson raised her eyes and shot her an apologetic and reassuring look.

''Sorry, I didn't mean to scare you.''

JJ nodded as her heart moved down from her throat and into its normal position again.

''I'm sorry; I was just lost in thought there. Anything you need, Detective?''

Henderson moved closer until she was leaning sideways against the counter. As she looked down for a moment JJ frowned and took up the same position opposite her thinking she must have been struggling with what was going on. Neither of them noticed Emily walking toward the space but stopped as she saw the two there. JJ reached up and touched the Detective on the arm lightly.

''Are you okay Detective Henderson?''

The other woman looked up a little nervously and cleared her throat lightly.

''Yeah, I just…I'm fine. And it's Lynn, please.''

''JJ.''

The homicide Detective nodded and smiled lightly. Emily frowned slightly as she watched the interaction carefully, just taking it in unbeknownst to the other two.

''Thank you, JJ. You guys have been really great. I've never handled a serial killer before. Some pretty bad stuff goes down here but not quite like this, you know?''

JJ nodded in understanding. She couldn't begin to remember how many times she had heard something like that from not just local authorities however large or small, but also from within their own Agency. She gently pulled her hand back to push some of her hair back again before resting it on her hip.

''It's understandable, I've heard things like that a lot before.''

Lynn let out a breath of relief.

''And here I was thinking I was the only one.''

''Not at all.''

''Good. JJ do you…I mean…''

JJ frowned slightly as Lynn cleared her throat.

''This isn't the best time, I know. But that thing before when I said I wasn't complaining? I said it because I think you're cute. Well…actually I think you're smoking hot, and when this is over I wondered if you'd be interested in getting a drink with me…''

Lynn reached up to tuck the rebellious strand of JJ's hair back for her.

''…or something.''

She finished, the implication not having to be emphasized too much because it was so obvious. JJ blinked at her in a state of quiet shock before her brain caught up with her. The woman was asking her out. Well…actually she was more asking her into her bed. And she was touching her. Quickly she took a step backward and out of reach.

''Oh…okay wow…I wasn't expecting that. I'm not…I mean…I'm…''

JJ didn't know quite where to look as she cleared her throat and swallowed hard. Okay so she got hit on sometimes but that was a little something different from getting hit on. And at a not so great time, too.

''Really? Oh wait! Oh my god…I am so sorry. I thought for sure you were…that I had a working gaydar.''

JJ didn't think this moment could get any more surreal.

''What? Oh! You do…I mean I am. I'm just married. Very happily married with a child.''

As if she had to prove it JJ flung her hand up into the air to brandish her engagement and wedding ring. As she did, Emily looked down at her own hand and starred at them for a second before tracing over them. Such symbols of something so important, something so fundamental. JJ was her life. They were bound together. What the blonde had said rang in Emily's ears, about being bound to each other, belonging to each other. She was right. And by pulling away from her because she thought she'd hurt her, Emily realised slowly that she was hurting her anyway.

''Damnit! I am so embarrassed right now; I didn't even notice the rings. I hope I didn't offend you.''

Lynn cringed as she shook her head at herself wishing that the earth would open up and she could crawl inside and wait for it to close again. JJ had to smirk a little as she ran her hand through her hair. The other woman looked so bashful right now that it was kind of sweet. And she was pretty. If she hadn't have been married JJ might have considered the offer, once upon a time she would have seriously thought about her options. And although she could casually say now that the Detective was attractive, despite the rocky patch she and Emily were in now, she really would never consider it. But she was flattered nonetheless, and didn't want to be rude.

''No. No, you didn't offend me. Look, Detective, maybe in another time and place. But I truly love my wife, and my life with her.''

Lynn smiled warmly as she nodded.

''I totally respect that. I wouldn't have hit on you if I had realised. And I hope she realises how lucky she is.''

Emily constantly thought about how lucky she was. But right now with watching this woman come onto her wife it got brought home ten times harder. Emily knew that it had happened before, once or twice. JJ had admitted that when they were dating. The right woman, the right circumstance, the right town. She didn't make a habit of it obviously but the opportunities had been there for her to take advantage of. JJ was the ever-persistent professional so she hadn't abused those opportunities but there had been some. This Detective could have easily scored herself a night with the blonde. But that's not what JJ wanted. JJ wanted her. And Emily could have slapped herself for pushing her away. Again. Even now, even when she was so far in love and trusted her so much, her habit was to still withdraw and keep at arms length. She was surprised JJ hadn't smothered her yet.

As she wiped the suddenly appeared but unshed tears from her eyes Emily missed what was said next but as she looked up she saw Detective Henderson making her exit at the other side of the space. JJ was left alone in the silence and the blonde sighed slowly as she leant on the counter top and ran a hand through her hair again. Then she did what Emily had just done a moment ago. She looked down at her rings before tracing lightly over them. And that's when they were both startled.

''Emily! I thought you were getting JJ? C'mon let's get out of here.''

Emily looked around at David as he hovered a few feet away from her, totally oblivious to what had happened and the fact that he had just blown her cover. When she looked back at JJ she found that her wife was looking right back at her, stood straight now and Emily could tell that some walls had just gone up and she was mad that she had been standing there. And she could also tell JJ had guessed she had seen everything and hadn't announced her presence.

''I umm…yeah.''

Emily cleared her throat but stood stock still as JJ walked the length of the pace not breaking eye contact with her even as she past her. Only when JJ walked on past her did it fail. Emily sighed slowly and turned around, shoving her hands into her pockets and following Rossi and JJ. She had to figure out what she was going to say at the hotel because if she hadn't been in enough trouble already she was in more now.

XXX

Emily sat on the edge of the bed and leant forward with her elbows on her knees. Almost black hair fell forward around her face and her eyes numbly studied the carpeted floor of the hotel room. Just seconds ago JJ had walked into the bathroom and slammed the door shut. There hadn't been any talk on the drive here. Of course there hadn't been. Everyone was tired and the drive was quiet but it wasn't like you could just suddenly start discussing your marriage in front of everyone. Apparently they weren't discussing it at all because that slam sounded rather final. Or so Emily thought. After a minute or so the door opened again, with less gusto than it had been shut with, and JJ stepped out.

''I hurt you. All the time I hurt you and I don't mean to but I do.''

Emily looked up with the weight of her statement expressed in her eyes.

''I push you away and I shouldn't. I can't…JJ I don't know if I can ever change that. Or change the fact that I have darkness in me that I can't get to. The one that made me hurt you the other night. I can't bare the thought of doing that to you again.''

JJ pushed off of the wall that she had come to lean on and moved forward to crouch down in front of the brunette. She sighed softly before reaching up to stroke through silky strands of hair as she absorbed what Emily said during her relief that she had finally said something at all.

''Baby, I can't even imagine what it was like for you growing up. I can't imagine having the kind of Father you did and it both pains me and pisses me off that he did what he did. He left an imprint on you that has lasted right up until now but Emily, that kind of darkness isn't one of them. I can promise you right now that I believe that, I feel it, and you didn't hurt me.''

''Yes I did, you have the marks to prove it.''

Emily retorted and tried to pull away. JJ stopped her by putting her hands on her wife's shoulder and not letting her move. Emily sighed and sat still, eyes still lingering toward the floor. She knew that JJ still had a defined bruise on her back and a healing scratch on her thigh and every time she saw them it made her stomach churn that she'd put them there.

''So do you. It was what it was Em. And right then it got a little more aggressive than we're used to but they weren't intentional. We've left each other with a hell of a lot more marks than that. It got a little out of our control but you know what? I was there too and I was giving as good as I got. And I trusted you, I always do. I'm not made of glass; I'm not scared of you. I know if I feel uncomfortable with anything then I can say stop and I knew that then and Em, you would have stopped if that were the case.''

JJ had moved her hands up to frame the sides of Emily's face and had gently moved it so that the older woman had no choice but to look at her. She knew Emily was listening to her properly and really letting her side of it in. That was one thing about a relationship with Emily. When she had argued or disagreed with other formers lovers they tended not to want to listen to her point of view but almost every time Emily would.

''You've never said stop. You can't be sure I would.''

She whispered to point out. JJ just smiled and shook her head slowly.

''I've never had to. You make me feel safe. Doesn't matter what we're doing. Doesn't matter if it gets rough like it did. I still knew I was safe. I'm more frightened when you don't talk to me about it Em. You're a talker when you're ready to talk and that's okay. But I need some idea about what's going on in your head because when I don't I start imagining what's going on in there, and I'm a little bit on the insane side when that happens! You don't push me away to hurt me you do it to protect me, from you. But I don't need that. I do need you to give me just something, so that I'm not wildly filling in the blanks until you're ready to talk to me. Because you do talk to me, every time.''

''I think that's a compromise I can live with.''

Emily agreed with half a smile and a little sniffle. She let JJ wipe the tears away from her eyes gently before the blonde leant forward and kissed her. A light kiss at first but one that deepened almost instantly into something meaningful and intimate. Emily let her hand weave into JJ's hair at the back of her head as the other held her arm lightly.

Emily was stunned sometimes by the sheer magnitude of JJ's love for her. But she had stopped questioning it. Despite her left over habits of shying away from people, even her wife, after growing up Emily had begun to trust enough that she didn't need to. Her pulling away had reduced dramatically actually she did see that much. And she was about to ask her wife what she saw in her and why she loved her but Emily stopped herself. She had spent a lot of time talking to the blonde about the past and it helped. Sometimes it was beyond her why JJ would love someone with so much baggage but she knew that's not all she saw and knew JJ wasn't naïve. No one came without baggage. JJ also often pointed out that she had her own fair share.

She really did trust in her wife when she told her things like this. Sometimes her belief in herself wavered and she was so terrified sometimes of becoming her Father that she instinctively recoiled to protect her family. But when JJ looked at her so honestly she knew she had no other choice to believe her. And when it was said to her so logically she found it hard to argue against. She was lucky. Damn lucky.

''I do realise how lucky I am, by the way.''

The brunette whispered softly with a little of her amusement poking through her emotion washed voice at the memory of Henderson hitting on JJ. It had been kind of sweet actually and it was witnessing that that had managed to spurge her on. Even though she knew she shouldn't have watched it she had and what she had heard had only served to back up what she felt for JJ and what JJ kept telling her.

''No more spying on me Prentiss!''

JJ nudged Emily mock petulantly which made the brunette laugh.

''I'm sorry. I didn't intend to, I just didn't know what to do at first but then the whole thing kind of made me think. I didn't mean to intrude on your '_moment_' with Detective Henderson!''

Emily smirked sardonically and again in amusement as she pushed some of JJ's hair back as the blonde chuckled lightly and rolled her eyes.

''Gee thanks honey. God, how do I get myself into those positions?''

''Well I think it has something to do with the you being 'smoking hot' part! You just never realise it is all.''

Emily informed helpfully before placing a series of single kisses on JJ's mouth.

''Em?''

The kiss deepened.

''Yeah?''

''I think we need to break the rules. This is definitely an exception moment.''

JJ stated with a slight nod but barely managing to pry herself away from Emily's lips as she did. They had agreed that no 'hanky panky' was to be had when on cases away but there had been and would always be exceptions. Emily consistently argued that if they were on their own time then why should they behave any differently than when they were working at home? JJ had to admit she had a point, but it just had a different flavor to it somehow. So they had agreed that if they were to break the rule then it was for good reason and not just fun and doing it because they could. If one of them needed the other for a reason then fine. And right now JJ was so glad the exception rule was there because tonight was definitely one of those nights.

The kiss deepened more so as the words began to cease and they did indeed take up their exception rule. It left them a little tired the next day but loosing sleep to gain back their full connection and getting back to normal was worth it. It didn't affect their work the next day. And as it turned out they had to work together for most of the day with Garcia, who had been relieved that the situation between her two friends had resolved itself, and Reid. So that had been even better with their equilibrium back.

It was late by the time that the case had been resolved. Stanly was fine and returned to his Mother. The woman was nice and everyone was glad that the boy had gained something so special again. She would never replace his Mother but it wasn't about replacing her it was about being a family and Emily knew for a fact that's what his would have wanted for him.

Given that it was late the team were informed that they would be leaving first thing in the morning. With that declared Morgan had insisted they should find a bar and have some fun which was quickly seconded by Garcia! Even Hotch had been coaxed into going. And the banter had quickly started as the first beers had been bought.

Now on whatever number of beer it was Emily inched up to stand next to Lynn Henderson who they had also invited. She was leant on the side of a booth wall standing back into the background and JJ cheered loudly and thrust her hands up in the air in victory of winning yet another round of darts against Morgan. As he tried to claim that she couldn't possibly be that good and had cheated and swindled him JJ just gave him jovial abuse about sucking so bad that she might as well have been playing Henry.

''Beautiful, isn't she?''

Henderson looked sideways toward Emily and seemed surprised to find her standing there. Emily smiled as she looked back at her after turning from watching JJ tease Morgan relentlessly. Garcia was howling with laughter nearby and even the other three were heckling the normally proud and brilliant at everything profiler. He had never beaten JJ once and it drove him nuts.

''Yeah she is. Almost a shame that she's married.''

Emily quirked an eyebrow.

''Almost?''

''Well she seems really happy. I can't begrudge that. Just kinda hope I make someone that happy some day.''

Emily smiled lightly as she looked at JJ. The change from both of their behaviours was massive and she was indeed glad to see her back to her usual self.

''That's very heartening, Detective. And sweet.''

If Emily had been any kind of mad for Henderson coming onto her wife that would have probably dissipated it. But she hadn't been mad in the first place. It was understandable why she was attracted to her and it had been less about jealousy and more of a realisation why she had listened in. Plus the Detective had backed off as soon as she thought JJ wasn't a batter for her team, and even more so when she found out she was married. Emily respected that.

''Thanks. You know her wife, right?''

Emily cleared her throat as she tilted on the balls of her feet for a moment.

''Pretty well, I guess. Why?''

''I just wondered if she knows what she has. How damn lucky she is.''

''Oh trust me, she gets it.''

Henderson nodded as she glanced at Emily.

''So you and the wife are tight huh? She doesn't mind Agent Jareau spending all her time with someone like you?''

Emily got the meaning. Henderson's gaydar really was on the ball. Usually it took a little time for someone to peg JJ. They'd usually spot her before the blonde. It was Henderson's way of saying she knew and also wondering if there was any 'tension' because of it.

''Well…I think JJ's wife thinks she could have a better taste but she's extremely glad her standards seem pretty low.''

Henderson gave her an odd look.

''How so?''

Emily just smirked as she lifted up her hand to indicate the rings.

''It worked out pretty great for me!''

Henderson sighed and she dropped her head back and cringed.

''And the humiliation just keeps on coming!''

Emily couldn't help but laugh lightly after not being able to help herself play the little game. She shook her head as she touched the other woman on the arm for a second.

''Oh don't worry about it Detective. I can't really blame you for trying! Come and join in. Trust me, after she's gloated enough times that she rocks at darts and you suck, you'll be ready to cast your affections elsewhere!''

Henderson scoffed as she began to walk forward with Emily.

''How'd you know I can't beat her?''

Emily glanced over at JJ. She was now stood behind Reid with her arms looped around him telling him how to hold and throw. He was supposed to be playing Hotch, but JJ was throwing 'with' Reid. Which only meant she was really throwing for him and Hotch kept protesting but it wasn't doing any good! Reid was just excited he was winning for once!

''I've never seen her lose.''


	10. Promises

Thanks again for all comments and feedback I highly appreciate it. This installment is set over 'Roadkill' - no spoilers or warnings really. A few bits of bad language and sexual innuendo.

A/N - I have no idea what to do after the next two with the season ending. Whether to stop or go into AU or wait and continue on when it starts again.

XXX

''Say mercy!''

''No!''

''_Say mercy_!''

''Not a chance!''

Jennifer Jareau laughed her defiant reply despite the fact that she was currently pinned underneath her wife. Emily had a hand wrapped around each of her wrists that were currently by her head as the brunette straddled her waist and somehow had her legs pinned too. As the older woman loomed over her her hair fell forward and framed her mischief filled face as dark eyes whirled jovially.

''Say mercy or you'll be sorry.''

Emily threatened playfully. JJ scoffed from underneath her and shot her a disbelieving look.

''Oh right what're you gunna do _smother_ me?''

She challenged flippantly as her mouth quirked into a lop sided rebellious grin. Emily shook her head as she grunted.

''Oh much better than that my friend. I happen to know your sides are very sensitive and a little tickling and you'll be putty in my hands. So say mercy!''

''Emily Prentiss don't you even think about it!''

Emily laughed as she shook her head. She had JJ exactly where she wanted her and the blonde couldn't do a damn thing about it. Yet JJ seemed to think she was in a position to negotiate? Oh no! No definitely not.

''What you gunna do about it, _Mrs. Prentiss_? Huh?''

Emily challenged back with a flash of her eyes along with a shit-eating grin that was nothing but smug and triumphant. She nudged into her wife as she pulled out what had now become a pet name for JJ. The fact was that JJ was a Prentiss now just not at work. But both of them still kept thinking and referring to her as Jareau. Emily didn't feel the absolute need for JJ to be called by her last name anyway she hadn't even minded if JJ had wanted to not change her name. It was great that she had wanted to and it made her feel special but to be honest Emily kind of liked that it was something just between them that they got to share.

''This!''

Before she knew it Emily found herself flat on her back. JJ had managed to wrap her legs around hers and roll her over and pry her hands loose as she did. Now the brunette found that the tables had been turned and it was JJ straddling and looming over her and effectively pinning her down onto the bed. Emily blew a strand of hair out the way of her face as she took stock of her current predicament.

''Well…you've definitely got your groove back. Been hitting the gym with Morgan again have you?''

Emily drawled almost sardonically. Almost because she really did think JJ had her thing back. She was more or less back to her usual self and Emily knew she had spent a lot of time working out and doing some hand-to-hand stuff with Morgan to make sure she was still fully able and ready to handle physical situations. Emily had to admit she always thought JJ was like a little whippet in those combat situations that she usually managed to get herself out of.

''Yes. So I do believe it's you that need to cry mercy my dear.''

JJ pointed out smugly as her eyebrows lifted up in expectation.

''You know I could just flip you again, right?''

Emily shot back though she made no move to, quite comfy in the position she was in. Plus the view that JJ's vest was giving her was worth it!

''Baby, we're fully trained FBI Agent's. As we've found out before this could go on for a _very_ long time!''

Emily laughed lightly, that kind of dirty mischievous and utterly sexy laugh that JJ loved so much. The blonde laughed with her for the same reason which was their past exploits along the same lines as this one. Being fully trained FBI Agent's actually tended to make their adventurous sex life a lot more energetic and eventful!

''That's very true.''

''So say mercy!''

JJ demanded playfully petulantly as she bounced a couple of times which made Emily grunt.

''How 'bout this instead? I love you.''

The mischief although still lingering there gave way to sincerity as Emily looked up at her wife. JJ smiled as her eyes sparkled and glowed.

''That'll work!''

She purred happily before leaning down and initiating a slow, open-mouthed fleeting kiss on Emily lips. In a way playful in itself but full of promise and innuendo and heat. Emily had to chase the blonde's mouth to capture it again but when they did meet this time it was deeper, exploitative. It was wet and open and sloppy and glorious. Full of want and desire and knowing and fire tongues roaming and dueling and swirling. One or both of them moaned into it they really weren't sure as they were indulged in the moment. However they were still in a battle for dominance and as air became an issue and Emily tried to escape from JJ's grasp only to have JJ push her down harder to keep her there their mouths separated and they panted lightly.

''See, you thought you could charm me into forgetting you failed to say mercy. And you know what you get for failing to yield to a Federal Officer, Agent Prentiss?''

JJ asked almost too sweetly with a thick layer of devilishness behind her voice as her eyes poured out seductive danger. It made Emily swallow hard as she recognised that particular look in JJ's eyes and knew the blonde had something plotting in that temptress mind of hers.

''Reprimanded?''

JJ tilted her head and breathed in as she seemed to debate the answer.

''I was going for punished, but reprimanded is adequate. Do _not _move.''

For once Emily was compliant as JJ let go of one of her wrists. She tried to control her breathing as she simply watched mesmerised as JJ leant over to the nightstand and then there was a familiar rattle of something. Actually it was more like a clinking. And as her brain kicked back in she realised what JJ was picking up. But by the time she did realise it was too late she was already cuffed to the headboard of the bed. JJ sat up straight and grinned totally pleased with herself.

''Can't flip me now Prentiss!''

She stated gleefully. Emily just gave her a look as she bucked and bent her knees upward causing JJ to be bucked forward. It was both a statement of protest, defiance, showing off that she wasn't still placid and also a way to get JJ to hover over her properly so their faces were only inches apart.

''Somehow I don't think 'mercy' is quite what I'll end up crying out.''

Emily pointed out in a breathy whisper already loosing her control of breathing to how aroused she was by JJ and her little game. Truth was she wasn't really protesting. Why on earth would she want to they were being playful and fun and hot. What had started as a little bit of fun had turned into this and she wasn't about to argue. Her trust in JJ was absolute and she felt her whole body come alive with anticipation. Not just for what JJ was about to do to her but what she would be doing to the blonde once she was free from these constraints.

Emily accepted the roaming kiss that JJ took her mouth into.

''No it's not amongst your usual sex hazed vocabulary, is it? But if you want I can just sit here and not touch you until you say it!''

JJ agreed and politely threatened with a smirk on her face that made Emily believe her wife was half considering it just for the satisfaction of winning.

''Mercy! There! Now get on with the touching!''

JJ laughed both at the fact she had gotten Emily to say it and the need and hastening along. It wasn't a bad thought to know that you were wanted so much. Not at all in fact. Though she hadn't expected Emily to cave it was just a bonus that she had because she couldn't keep herself restrained for much longer anyway not with this divine body underneath her own now completely helpless to her whims and fancies.

''Yes Ma'am!''

The blonde chuckled lightly before kissing Emily again.

''Oh and Em? I love you too.''

XXX

''Your Mommy is a doofus Henry.''

JJ stated sardonically as she held her boy in her arm as he rested comfortably on her hip with his little body steadfast and nestled against her own. He babbled quietly as he looked around the street curiously as JJ walked out of the front door and down the side path of the front garden heading for the sidewalk of the street. One of his little chubby hands was tangled in her hair as the other gripped onto one of the soft toys he loved to play with because it had a soft little rattle inside of it. Henry was wearing a little pair of jeans that he looked adorable in along with a long sleeved top that had strips down the arms but a beige front colour with sweet cartoon robots patterned on it. He was also wearing a multi-striped cardigan that had a little hood along with little shoes over his little animal socks. He looked as hansom as ever with his adorable chubby face, bright blue eyes and soft blonde hair.

He pointed and flapped his toy gently which made JJ look up in the same direction to see that Mary Jacobi was heading toward them crossing the street. The older woman looked a little tired and troubled but was clearly trying to keep it in check as she continued over.

''Morning JJ.''

The redheaded woman greeted cheerily as she neared them. JJ smiled softly as she stopped to let Mary get to her. She was ready for work now in a black suit with a black top but with a line of white and grey at the top. Her gun sat on her other hip and she noticed that Mary glanced at it wearily as the light breeze had flapped her jacket to tuck behind the hardware.

''Hey Mary. You okay?''

The other women looked back up and seemingly relaxed with the reassuring glance that JJ sent her.

''Oh sure, just tired is all. You?''

Mary flicked a hand and did honestly seem more relaxed now she had made it over the road.

''I'm good, thank you. Just on our way to work.''

''You don't usually take Henry do you?''

JJ shook her head as she glanced at her son who whipped his head around to look at her at the same time. She smoothed down a few strands of his hair softly.

''No. Annette, our nanny, she had an appointment this morning and Emily forgot! So we don't have a sub so he's coming with us and staying in the staff day care until after lunch.''

JJ rolled her eyes and shook her head as she smiled and laughed lightly. It had been rather comical when Emily had slapped her forehead as she had gasped upon suddenly remembering that Annette wasn't going to be here and she had totally forgotten to call their service to organise someone for the duration of the morning. JJ had been completely unaware of the situation given that Annette had called Emily the afternoon before. And it wasn't until after their hour and a half of fun this morning with tussling and cuffs and plenty of pleasure and fun, that the brunette had finally remembered. JJ had teased her about dementia starting with forgetting things and had squealed as Emily had chased her around because of it even though she kept insisting that it was because Emily was getting 'old'!

So they had organised for Henry to be checked into the day care at Quantico and actually JJ was rather pleased by the unexpected situation because she knew she'd be able to pop down and see him any moment she had free and also over lunch and that was a pleasant treat during work. They had had some fun with Henry this morning and Emily had been bouncing him around the kitchen in time to the music on the radio which had had him laughing so hard and it had been pretty funny to watch. Now it was time to set off though and as JJ headed to her car because it had Henry's baby seat strapped into it already Emily was just putting together a baby bag for him to leave with him.

''Childcare snafu's, been through plenty of them!''

They both chuckled lightly as Henry mumbled softly.

''Anyway I won't keep you long. I was told that you play soccer?''

JJ raised a curious eyebrow having not been expecting that.

''Umm, yeah. Well, I played in school and college but I'm still pretty decent. Why?''

''Well the kids have decided to make up a couple of teams around the area and they need a little bit of help and we're kinda sports dumb so Annie told me to ask you.''

JJ drew her head back in understanding and smiled as she tucked back some rebellious strands of her hair.

''Oh okay! Well my schedule won't ever be solid to work around but I'd be happy to help.''

Mary smiled widely as she flicked her hand.

''Great! I'll let you get on but talk more about it later?''

JJ just nodded as she turned as Mary looked behind her to see that Emily was locking the front door.

''Yeah no problem.''

''Okay, see you later. Take care.''

The blonde nodded and waved lightly as Mary made her way back over across the street after waving a hello/goodbye toward Emily. The brunette made her way down and came to a stop next to JJ with a quizzical look on her face.

''Everything okay?''

''Yeah, fine. C'mon, we'll be late if we don't get going.''

Emily nodded and put the stuff in the back as JJ got Henry settled and safely into his car seat before they got in themselves and headed off. It already seemed like it had been a long morning but JJ had definitely not regretted the spontaneous early wake up. It seemed that both of them hadn't been able to sleep any longer despite that they could have but they had made great use of that time! It was definitely worth it. Henry was no problem as he was signed into the day care and smiled as he gave his Mother's a sloppy kiss goodbye and they headed up to work. JJ headed to her office with Agent Anderson quickly skipping behind her as he waffled her messages and Emily smirked at the skittish Agent that had unofficially become JJ's 'assistant' and walked into the bullpen to firstly grab some coffee, then smack Morgan on the back of the head on her way past him as she heard him hurtle a teasing insult toward Reid. The genius boy laughed at Morgan's shock as he rubbed his head and Emily sat down at her desk as she chuckled into her coffee.

XXX

''An unsub who kills with his car. Haven't seen that before.''

The ease of the day was evidently over. JJ had gathered them all as usual earlier to go over active cases after handing out some others and dealing with her every day-to-day work too. Emily always admired how JJ made it look so easy when it was nothing but hard. Even Jordan Todd who was well known for her proficiency and skill hadn't been able to handle the job JJ did and had buckled underneath the weight of it. Not just anyone could do what JJ did that was for sure.

''Neither has the police in Bend, Oregon. Which is why they need our help.''

''2 victims in the last 12 days.''

It was now late afternoon/early evening that they were sat around the round table going through the case that had come to JJ and she had determined it high priority. The team had thought they were going to sail, as much as you could sail through a job like this one, through the day but this had landed before they had been able to head out. As everyone had been preparing JJ had stopped them and told them to wait. Now almost an hour after she had she was briefing them on why.

Indeed JJ and Emily had managed to have lunch with their son. They had checked him out of the day care where he had had no problems and lots of fun playing and taken him upstairs with them. Garcia had had plenty of fun with her godson and had laughed at his enthusiasm for making messes with food and the fact that Emily was having to wear her jacket for the rest of the day if she didn't want anyone to see the smudge of baby food her son had left for her on her shirt! He had grinned so sweetly that she hadn't been able to glower over it for too long.

Annette had picked him up to take home and Emily was just looking forward to getting there and relaxing in her home with her family. The only bonus of this case coming in late was that she doubted they would set off for Oregon tonight. It would be in the morning so that meant a good amount of time to spend time with Henry and relax before they set out to catch this killer that was seemingly seeking thrills.

After the briefing JJ collected her stuff together and excused herself to her office and indicated to Emily that she'd be ready to leave after she had returned a couple of calls and put a few files on some desks then checked in with Garcia to make sure she knew everything that was going on. Emily had nodded and quietly started packing up her own stuff as her wife wondered out and the guys were muttering between themselves before filtering out and getting ready to leave.

Five minutes later and JJ emerged into the bullpen looking both confused and concerned.

''That was quick.''

Emily stated as she stood up almost immediately as she was eager to go home. But she stalled at the look on JJ's face.

''Penelope wasn't in her office. She didn't answer her phone but this was on her desk.''

JJ handed over the bright purple post-it that had been waiting for her.

''_Baby-Jay, as powerful as this Oracle is she needed rest. Brief in the morning, love to Super Swank and my baby boy, Garcia_.''

Emily read and briefly rolled her eyes at Garcia's chosen nickname for her. Then she looked up again to see that JJ still looked worried. Those two were like sisters and Emily knew that JJ would be concerned because Garcia rarely left with a note out of the blue like this. Still, if she was tired she was tired right? Or if she did have something on her mind she obviously wasn't ready to talk about it yet.

''Honey I'm sure she's fine.''

Emily attempted.

''I'm not so sure.''

JJ sighed softly in concern. Emily glanced around the bullpen and despite she knew there was a camera feed she knew it was only in case something happened and wasn't there to spy so she leant forward and placed a kiss on the side of JJ's temple before taking her hand and squeezing it gently.

''C'mon, let's go home.''

The younger woman nodded and let herself be lead out of the bullpen and guided into a light conversation about their son and things they needed to pick up on the way home. Just regular family stuff that they needed to and plans they were making for the future. Trips they wanted to go on and places they wanted to see and take Henry.

XXX

''Has anyone seen Garcia?''

JJ asked as she stepped onto the plane as everyone herded in and started taking seats. Morgan kneeled on his chosen chair to turn around to face her and nodded.

''I just briefed her.''

''Is she okay?''

The large man frowned slightly in confusion.

''Yeah…''

''I mean did she seem unusual?''

Morgan grinned with a smart-ass twinkle in his eyes.

''Well this _is _Penelope Garcia!''

He pointed out which just got him a backhanded slap to the stomach as JJ passed him to sit beside him. He mock sulked as he rubbed his stomach. Emily snickered at him as she rolled her eyes.

''What she means is did she seem off or anything?''

Morgan thought for a moment before she shrugged as he looked between his two friends.

''Not at all. Still as perverse as ever.''

JJ took in a slow breath and nodded lightly. She still couldn't shake the idea that she was being artfully avoided by her best friend but she supposed she couldn't do much about it right now. Garcia would come around to talking about whatever it was when she was ready and JJ couldn't force her to do anything else and it wasn't like she had never done the same thing. She had managed to relax last night and after getting Henry fed and bathed and comfortable and into bed she had been happy to take a nice hot bath with a glass of wine, some bubbles, candles, music and of course her wife.

The conversation turned onto the case as the jet made its take off and ascent into the air as Hotch steered it to the case particulars.

''I think its safe to assume our unsub is male.''

Emily mused pretty confidently therefore breaking the thoughtful silence that had enveloped the plane as each member of the team read through their reports quickly. All thinking to themselves and trying to figure out where the jigsaw puzzle pieces fit together. Tried to step into the mind of this killer even as they only had limited information right now.

''I agree with you given what we know about aggressive driving and road rage.''

Hotch piped up seriously. He frowned slightly as he reflected back on the cases or reports he had seen on such topics. Even the most recent case where Norman Hill had used his car to get out the rage he had pent up inside. That type of rage definitely affected more men than women. Men were bigger bullies on the road and took their vehicles and driving more personally in a way so it was easier for their frustration to build and women were better at handling emotions like that anyway.

''And the fact that men have an unnatural bond with their cars.''

The dark brunette replied whilst secretly hoping that no one was about to bring up her own fondness of her own car. Namely JJ seeing as she lived with her and had to listen about it. But it wasn't like this by any means. Nor like how she had seen men revere their cars either. Emily admitted she was a little particular about her car and who drove it and was fussy with what she herself drove but she didn't totally worship it. As much as JJ teased her that she did!

''That is true.''

The blonde pointed as she backed up her statement confidently but made no mention of Emily's obsession with her own car as her eyes still scanned the last lines she was reading from her report.

''Wait a minute I don't know about unnatural…''

Morgan protested softly as he thought about it. Of course. When JJ came to think about it Emily's attachment of her car was nothing compared to Morgan's attachment of his car. She should have known that their friend would definitely pipe up on the defense the subject they were getting lead astray with. Morgan was undoubtedly such a jock. One of those red blooded male guys that liked everything macho.

''I once dated a girl whose brother washed his car more than he washed his hair.''

JJ stated flatly with a beyond unimpressed look and though she didn't stop looking at Morgan she didn't fail to notice the big ass smirk on Emily's face. A smirk both of 'ha, I'm not that bad' and amusement about the whole thing.

''A nice car needs love.''

Rossi joined in with an almost boyish baby face with an ounce of alarm that JJ was suggesting that a car should be neglected.

''And a woman doesn't?''

JJ threw back at him softly but pointedly with a dubious look now covering her face. Emily's fascination with her car was kind of amusing. Slightly frustrating at times but mostly sweet and harmless. But JJ definitely would sure as hell not put up with playing second fiddle to the damn thing. It was just a machine she had always failed to understand quite why guys…and okay some girls, went nuts over them. A car was a car. You picked which one you liked and you drove it around to get on with your life. That was it! But it honestly didn't surprise her that Rossi leant on the side of the machine too. It seemed fitting as well for his and Emily's whole dynamic kind of like like Father like daughter!

JJ looked for certain things in a car. Quality, price, safety, comfort. That was it! Why did you need anything else? Her car was comfortable, easy to drive, was a good make, had been a good price and most of all she, Emily and her son were safe in it.

''I'm not qualified to answer that!''

The man ducked out of the question which made everyone laugh. Still with that boyish, almost impish look and smirk that usually got him out of trouble for most things. Apparently though not out of trouble with his ex wives! No wonder he preferred cars! JJ was just glad that his and Emily's similarity ended there!

''I'm just saying, a big car…its phallic.''

The conversation got back onto topic as they continued to throw around some ideas and try to pick something out of the victimology. There was nothing yet JJ felt like she had been through every detail a hundred times already and still there was nothing to connect the two victims beside their gender. Unfortunately they were still flying blind on this one.

XXX

''JJ goes running at strange hours. Usually alone.''

Emily mused with a distracted but thoughtful voice as though she was speaking out loud a thought that had come into her head and didn't realise it. She was starring at the seat that Paul Makely had been sat in as he had been trying to absorb the news that his wife wasn't just dead but the target of a killer in a truck. He had been so shattered and devastated like so many countless of family members that she and the team had ever talked to. It was one of the worst things about this job. Looking them in the eye and not being able to give a whole, good reason at why this had happened.

''Prentiss?''

Hotch looked over at her as she blinked back into reality and watched as she realised she had just said that out loud in front of him.

''Sorry. I was just thinking.''

He drew in a light but sharp breath as he scanned her thoughtful.

''If this is too close to home…''

''It's not. Honestly. I'm not even sure why I thought about it. I guess since JJ it got harder to watch people like Paul Makely fall to pieces. Could be me one day. Could be her.''

Hotch let out a breath as she turned to face her directly. She could tell that he was battling between saying something as a friend and as a boss because he couldn't have her falling to pieces because she was thinking about herself in Paul Makely's shoes. It wouldn't help him or the situation but that said they were all human and it was beyond hard not to draw comparisons from time to time. Emily was good at compartmentalizing but things did slip out as they tended to in all of them. If it didn't happen they would be lost and unfit for this job.

''It's hard I know. But we're here to make sure we don't have to look another family member like him in the eye and have this same conversation. It's what we do.''

Emily nodded as she looked down briefly. She knew that's what they did. It's what she had signed up for. Sure she had never expected to gain her whole life when she did sign up for this but here it was anyway. It was hard to ignore the fact that her wife worked alongside her in this sick and twisted and dangerous job. It was hard not to stare at these cases sometimes and imagine the worst or have nightmares about them. They had to step into these dark and haunted minds and in doing so open their own up it was the sacrifice they made. It was why Emily was grateful for the anchor that her life provided.

''I know.''

Hotch nodded once. Stoic and staunch but also in there was the understanding of why her thoughts were there and that they all had them too sometimes. Still, she wished she had never let it slip in front of her boss.

XXX

Emily grunted gratefully as she felt two hands slip onto her shoulders and massage gently as JJ placed a kiss on top of her head.

''You're very good at that.''

She drawled as she relaxed back into the talents of JJ's hands as the blonde continued. She had been sitting at the little desk that the hotel room had to offer looking over details and pictures and endless reports. Now she dropped them back onto the top and leant back as she let her eyes drift closed to just enjoy the feeling of the tension and knots being worked out of her muscles. JJ honestly did have a serious skill at this she could have taken it up professionally.

''I think we definitely need one of those trips we were talking about.''

The blonde mused softly as she became engrossed in her actions.

''In what spare time?''

Emily scoffed. JJ shrugged lightly and shook her head.

''Who knows. Maybe when Henry is a little older we can really take off. Somewhere hot and beautiful and so far away from all this crap we never even think about a serial killer until we get home.''

''Oh do you promise?''

JJ leant down to nuzzle the side of Emily's face with her own before placing a kiss on her cheek.

''I'm pretty sure I could preoccupy your thoughts, yeah.''

She whispered so seductively it sent a shiver straight through the brunette. But then JJ stood upright again to resume her massaging but this time concentrated on the older woman's neck.

''Morgan said Barbados is nice.''

JJ snickered.

''From the whole day he saw of it?''

She squeaked. Elle had been arrested there and JJ shuddered as she was reminded of that whole twisted and very personal case. Then her mind drifted to her once upon a time friend that had vanished somewhere into the world. Her thoughts were conflicted about what Elle had done but she was saddened that it had happened to her. She was genuinely a good person and had wanted to help people. Maybe if she hadn't have been shot right in her home it would have been different. Maybe if the son of a bitch hadn't actually reached into her to get the blood to smear on her wall it would have been different. But she had taken a step too far. As much as they all had wanted to from time to time, they could not take the law into their own hands. That's where there was a line between them and an unsub. Just because they had a gun and a badge that allowed them to use it that same badge stopped them from using it recklessly and dangerously. It most of all struck JJ as a morbid and unsavory thought that if none of that had happened Emily most likely wouldn't have appeared in her life.

''When he's old enough to appreciate it I'd really like to take Henry to Nassau. We had such a good time there and it's where we got engaged and started talking about family. So essentially, that's where we started planning him.''

JJ smiled at the simple statement yet one that was absolutely beyond sweet. Emily was right though. To a lot of people they may have looked like they rushed into a relationship and the milestones they had passed already. From colleagues to friends, friends to lovers, lovers to spouses and then becoming parents. But the thing was they worked in this unit that showed them just how short and fragile life could be. It showed them that life was not to be taken for granted or to be wasted. And when you knew someone was different the moment you laid eyes on them, knew from the looks and the touches, the first kiss, the first real date, the moment their skin touched yours, the second you woke up beside them feeling like nothing on this earth compared to that…why waste precious time? It had been right and that's all that mattered.

''I think that's a beautiful idea, Em. And I think he'd love that.''

JJ leant down to place another kiss on Emily's head as the brunette sighed in relief as something cracked in her neck but in a good way. There followed a couple of pops and the brunette almost groaned like she did when JJ was doing something else with her hands but distinctively different and much lower than her neck.

''Egypt is a must too. I'd like to show you were I partially grew up. Actually now I think about it there's quite a few places I'd like to take you and the baby.''

JJ smiled softly at Emily's now freethinking about vacations instead of thinking about work. Sometimes she could lock into a case so much that she worried that her head would explode. Or the tension would mount up on her like it had today but at least she was always there to kneed it out.

''For now baby why don't we settle for getting some sleep? When we get home we can plan a little trip just for the three of us until Chubs is a little older.''

Emily scoffed lightly at the little pet name JJ used for their son. Actually it was probably her fault that JJ had picked it up because it was her that kept saying he was their little chubby chub. But it was _so _cute and babies were meant to be chubby! He was beautiful and special and so freaking perfect. He was theirs. And one day she couldn't wait to show him everything the world had to offer. The world that she had seen but hadn't seen the right way. But she could show him, with JJ, the right way.

''When he's older I'm going to tell him you called him that!''

Emily threatened sardonically but without an ounce of seriousness in her voice. Although it probably would be a funny story they'd tell him one day and he was laugh in mock offence at his Mother. She couldn't wait for that. Emily let JJ tug her up from the chair and lead her over to the bed.

''Well I'll tell him you started it!''

The blonde shot back as she shuffled beneath the covers. Emily just chuckled as she did the same and then the lights went out and they moved around until they were comfortable and JJ was happy to rest in Emily's arms as the brunette enveloped her.

''Did you get hold of Garcia?''

She yawned out.

''Yeah she failed to dodge me eventually.''

''She okay?''

''Problems with Kevin. She said they were sorting it out though.''

It was JJ's turn to yawn deeply and within another moment they had both slipped off into slumber.

XXX

''I didn't offend you earlier did I?''

Rossi wondered curiously as though it had abstractly occurred to him rather than he was too worried about it. He looked across the table toward Emily who was looking through a file that JJ had handed her. The blonde was sat opposite on the other side of the table a couple of chairs over from himself. Emily looked up with a 'who me' look on her face.

''About what?''

''Asking if you used to smoke in front of the Detective's.''

Emily just shrugged passively.

''No.''

Rossi nodded softly.

''Okay. You know, it still surprises me that you used to.''

At that the so far silent blonde scoffed but didn't look up from her work.

''_Used to_? She still does.''

She muttered but clearly. Rossi's eyebrows shot up as Emily shot a look toward JJ.

''I do not!''

She protested firmly which made JJ look up and across at her.

''Yes you do.''

''Like two or three a month, JJ. It's not like I have a habit.''

The brunette grumbled with a bit of a sharp edge behind her voice as she glowered toward her wife.

''Doesn't mean I have to like it.''

JJ snapped in that eerily calm way that Rossi knew meant trouble. He didn't like getting on that side of JJ it was scary!

''Well I don't like the fact you go running at night but hey, I deal with it.''

Apparently Rossi had completely started up the wrong subject. Now he wished that he had never said anything about it at all because it was clearly a soar subject. He really hadn't known that Emily still indulged in the occasional smoke and that JJ wasn't very fond of it. How that lead onto JJ going running he wasn't sure but they were women and he knew he'd never really understand. So he did the only thing a wise man could do.

''Coffee?''

Without waiting he got up and walked away from the table. Possibly the only thing he could do to keep his pulse right now! He did notice however that there were only a couple more exchanges before Emily left the table and it ended up being Reid and JJ that did the rest of the work and JJ put everything up on the board. Once again things became focused on the case and the discovery that the connection with their victims were their cars.

XXX

''It _is _the same!''

Emily insisted snappily as she tossed her suit jacket into the small sitting chair in the corner of the room.

''No it's not, Emily. How can smoking and running be the same thing?''

''I don't like that you do it.''

The brunette stated firmly yet again which made JJ snicker almost bitterly.

''Yeah I gathered that from the first 300 times you said it. I'm not a fucking baby I think I can look after myself.''

''Just like I can. You're freaking out over two or three smokes a months, if that JJ, when _anything_ could happen out there in the dark? Or as we've seen in this case, in the morning.''

Emily flailed wildly and left an arm outstretched to indicate behind her where the window was as if gesturing to the world outside. Her jaw clenched stiffly as she just glared at JJ as the blonde paused in her tracks for a moment. Her hand was woven into her hair but remained still on her head as the other was placed on her hip.

''Wait. Is that what this is about?''

Emily dropped her hand and rolled her eyes before rubbing the bridge of her nose tiredly.

''What?''

''The case Emily. _This _case?''

''Why does it have to be about anything other than that it fucking _concerns_ me when my wife goes running in what may as well be the middle of the goddamn night. You're not on a freaking farm anymore Jennifer you're in Washington D.C and can I just remind you how damn high our crime rates are?''

JJ rolled her eyes before she reached forward with a flail and grabbed her pajamas.

''You know what fine, if you're not willing to knock it off then I'm just gunna go and get ready in the bathroom and we just won't talk instead.''

''Fine.''

''_Fine_!''

The slam of the bathroom door actually startled Emily a little bit and she sighed as she turned in a little circle.

''Damnit.''

Just to add insult to injury now she _really _wanted a smoke.

XXX

''Shit!''

JJ looked up at Emily's exclamation. So far very little had been said as they were getting ready this morning. Now as she looked over she saw that Emily was holding the top she was obviously meant to wear but frowning intently at it.

''What?''

Emily looked over before sighing softly and turning the item toward her.

''Henry barfed on this last week and it hasn't come out.''

JJ really tried not to laugh. Even bit on her lip for a moment but she couldn't help it. Emily had said it in such a downhearted but none blaming way like a kid that just found the cookie jar was empty would. It was strangely funny to her especially with things having been the way they were. Even Emily smiled softly as she tossed the top onto the bed and sank down into the nearby chair.

''That was my last one.''

She added. JJ just chuckled lightly again in this strange surreal moment and walked over to the little closet and reached inside.

''I have another shirt. You should pack more.''

''I thought I had. Anyways you pack enough for the both of us for you so…it's pink…''

Emily raised an eyebrow at the shirt as JJ pulled it out. The blonde looked at her expectantly as if she didn't get it.

''You said you liked it.''

She pointed out.

''On you! It looks good on you, I'm not so sure I'm a pink kinda gal.''

''You've worn pink before.''

''Yeah, yours! Either reluctantly or that time I quit and I wore it 'cos it smelt like you!''

JJ smiled and walked forward toward where Emily was sat.

''Well it's either pink, baby barf stains or as you are. And I'd prefer that the Officers of the Bend police station _didn't _see you have naked.''

Emily smirked slightly at the sarcastic but just lightly playful tone of her wife before accepting the shirt and slipping it on before standing up to fasten the buttons but she remained intently looking at her wife who was stood right in front of her.

''Sorry about last night.''

JJ nodded.

''I am too.''

She said softly before leaning in for a light but meaningful kiss. She took a breath in as she stood back a little to glance at Emily in her shirt. The brunette looked nervously at her.

''Well?''

JJ smirked slightly.

''I think you should wear it more often, it looks good. Damn good.''

Emily just smiled crookedly at the effect it seemed to have on JJ as she put her ID around her neck and JJ picked her weapon off of the nightstand and handed it to her. Emily wove her belt through the hostler before fastening it and then picked up her jacket.

''I might just consider that.''

JJ nodded and already being ready to go she started to turn but Emily grabbed her arm and pulled her back around and in for a much deeper kiss. As JJ's hands laced over onto her sides her own moved up to cup one side of JJ's face as the other wove into silky blonde hair. She just couldn't seem to leave the room without making sure that they walked out of it right. It was only a stupid and tired spat but still.

''I love you.''

''Love you too.''

XXX

''Hey I thought you could use a hand.''

Emily turned around to see JJ wonder into the room she was searching through.

''Oh thank you. Have you heard anything from Hotch?''

She wondered as she grabbed a box that she hadn't gotten to yet to pass to JJ.

''Ah they think they've located Garrett Burke…if they bring him in Coakley has nowhere to go.''

JJ updated the vague details she had as she accepted the box from Emily.

''Well he'll go somewhere and hopefully looking through all this stuff will help us figure out where.''

''All his wife's things. He never unpacked them.''

The blonde mused with an ounce of sadness in her voice.

''He never unpacked anything as far as I can tell.''

JJ sighed as she looked around. This place was a shell. Something disheveled and cold, totally impersonal and empty.

''What do you think this means? Living like this?''

She wondered as she found a camera.

''I think it means he's stuck.''

Emily said softly, thoughtfully and like it meant something personal. JJ glanced at her. She knew that their thing yesterday had been borne out of tiredness but also she had guessed from the case too. Sometimes you could see the oddest comparison in any one detail of a case and it wouldn't leave you alone. She got that. And she couldn't help but be reminded of the comic book writer that had snapped after his fiancé had been killed. She had felt sorry for that boy having had his whole world ripped away from him. The woman he loved and his unborn child. He hadn't been a monster. He had been gutted. Empty and devastation like Ian Coakley obviously had been. Both had turned into something they never should have been. Never was meant to be. JJ was startled by how easily it was to be forced into something like this. Knew that it could happen to anyone. Including her. She thought it even more so as she saw the pictures.

''Oh wait a second…''

XXX

After thinking about how people could be forced into who they weren't meant to be JJ had started doing some digging. As Ian Coakley had been messed up about the crash that had killed his wife she routed through report after report to try and locate the one she was looking for if it even existed. The case was over and it was time to pack up and leave. She had informed the media and done the press part of her job. But now she felt like she not only wanted but needed to put Gil Bonner out of his misery because she had been able to tell that he was slowly turning into someone else. Someone he wasn't supposed to be.

She had found what she was looking for and had been able to put his mind at rest. It felt good to be able to do that and hopefully he could get on with his life and let what had happened go. Just love his wife and his little girl like there was no tomorrow.

''Hey.''

The blonde smiled lightly as she sat opposite Emily on the plane. The boys were all distracted and sitting further away which was good because what she had to say even though it was brief was not for them.

''Hey. You get everything sorted out?''

Emily wondered as she glanced up at her wife after starring out of the window at the tarmac.

''I did. Em…''

JJ looked at her thoughtfully and with that calm and somehow relaxing seriousness that she could evoke. Emily immediately paid attention.

''If anything ever happened to me, you have to promise me that you won't turn into a monster. That you'll stay strong for our son and move on.''

The blonde stated seriously as she looked Emily in the eye. The brunette opened her mouth as if to reply but nothing came out. There was a small frown on her forehead and a whirlwind of thoughts running through her head as she tried to wrestle with what JJ had just said.

''JJ…''

''Wait. I'm serious Emily. I want you and Henry to have a life even if I wouldn't be there to take part in it. We both have so much to show and teach him, and what you said the other day about taking him to see what you've seen…I dreamt about that Emily and it was pretty wonderful. So even if I'm not there I want that for you both. I want you to be happy, not some twisted vessel of what you once where. You're stronger than that. You make a life with our son, you teach him everything I would have taught him and you open yourself to love again okay? Promise me.''

Emily looked down for a moment with a hefty sigh as she bit her lip and frowned further. She knew JJ was serious. Knew that she wanted her to carry out everything she just said and it broke Emily's heart to have to think about it. But she recognised what had been in the air these past few days. For some reason this case had made them both think about it. She didn't know why they had seen far more gruesome cases not meaning to belittle this one and ones that provoked even more comparisons. But evidently this had been enough. The thought of life without JJ was unbearable to Emily and she didn't want to utter one word of promise to her wife that she could do that. Perhaps she wouldn't have if it wasn't for Henry. But the thing was, Emily expected exactly the same damn thing of JJ.

''I promise if you promise.''

She finally said both sincerely even if it were a little reluctantly. She looked up again and JJ nodded.

''I promise.''

Emily sighed again. She let her eyes linger on JJ and JJ just looked back at her. They didn't need anymore words on the subject they just understood. JJ took a breath in as she smiled gently.

''Garcia called. She and Kevin are okay and she wants to do dinner.''

Emily chuckled lightly.

''Okay.''

''Oh and Mary wants me to teach kids soccer!''

''Okay!''

This time Emily chuckled which made JJ do the same.

''So about this little trip…''

Plans were good. Because they had both made a promise but that didn't mean they would ever have to keep it. They planned because that's what life was about. Looking forward and planning the things that they wanted to do for their boy.


	11. Safety

A/N - Sorry for long gap in posting, personal issues. Thanks to all encouragement as always much appreiciated. This one is short and sweet, just a little one-shot.

Spoilers/set around - Amplification

XXX

''It's the baby snoring. Get's me every time!''

Emily mused softly as Henry grunted and snored in that cute baby way as he slept. Currently he was happily sprawled out on his back with his hands up by his face. Both Emily and JJ were stretched out on their sides on either side of him where he was in the middle, heads propped up on their hands as they leant on their elbows.

JJ's eyes flicked up from her sleeping son to Emily who was still focused on their little boy with a soft smile on her lips and a warm glow in her dark eyes. They were all full of wondrous fascination which happened a lot when it came to Henry. Actually now JJ thought about it Emily seemed to get that look of awe and wonder when it came to her too. Ever since they had started their relationship the brunette got these looks sometimes, like she was just struck by the fact that she seemed to have everything she had ever wanted. As though JJ herself was something special. And although JJ didn't always believe she was she felt special under Emily's adoration. Same as Henry always would. Emily held them both in such reverence.

''I love you.''

JJ said softly still looking at her wife. Emily looked up from Henry and smiled.

''I love you too.''

Emily wasn't clueless she knew this case had been even rougher for JJ than it had been for her. But ultimately it had made them both question themselves, their work and what they would do to protect their son. It was hard to accept that procedures were there for a reason when all you could think about was making sure the things you loved most were safe. It was hard to accept by breaking those procedures meant you were causing more jeopardy than anything.

However Emily knew that since JJ had been woken up during the early hours of the morning to go into work and prepare all of this, she had been plagued with doubts. She had done her job, of course. She had reported to the Director with Hotch to discuss plans of actions and advice and do work on the media black out. Emily hadn't known that until later though. It had supposed to have been a good day, a day that they spent with their son, not thinking about work. Instead it had been a race to catch yet another unsub threatening the peace of everyday life.

''I called home today.''

JJ blurted out her eyes now drifting back onto the peacefully sleeping baby that wiggled lightly obviously responding to something in his dreams. She put a hand softly on his stomach and he settled down seemingly soothed by her touch. She could feel his warmth and his breaths under her hand and her mind reeled at never having that again. She had never questioned herself quite like this before, not even her first case back after having Henry. Never before had she gone quite so far.

''I was prepared to do it, Em. I called home and I was going to break procedure.''

She admitted softly but with a depth to her tone that was easily heard. Was it lucky or unlucky that the answer phone had been on?

''I almost told a woman to get her kids the hell out of the area.''

Since JJ was in the confessing mood Emily didn't see the harm in admitting her own almost crossed line today. She highly expected that if Rossi hadn't have been there watching her like a hawk, she would have told that woman to grab her kids and drive as fast as she could out of town. The woman hadn't known, but she had been asking as one Mother to another. It wasn't like she was the biggest fan of the media black out anyway, she could see that the public knowing would cause mass panic but what could it cause without them knowing too?

''What stopped you?''

JJ wondered looking up at Emily again. They hadn't said anything about the blanket JJ had put over the news outlets. She knew Emily knew it was her. It was part of her job after all. She had secured every single piece of information going out of the office to the news outlets, had organising both the BAU and the military to keep its silence. She had done it knowing Emily would have a problem with it. She knew her wife; she knew Emily's desire to protect people, to inform them of the dangerous they were near. But it was her job. And she herself was torn between believing silence was for the best or dangerous. What she did know was that sometimes to know something was more harmful, and if they could stop it from happening before anyone knew that would probably be for the best. But that made her feel like a hypocrite because she had picked up her phone fully prepared to defy orders today.

''Honestly? I'm not sure. What stopped you?''

JJ shrugged lightly.

''No one picked up.''

''If they had?''

JJ thought for a moment. That was the million dollar question wasn't it? Would she have told Annette the truth today? Or made up a convincing lie to get her to keep Henry in the house?

''Isn't it our duty to keep him safe? Isn't that what we're supposed to do, above everything else? We created him, he's ours. Doesn't that mean we sacrifice what we have to?''

She asked finally trying to fight back the tears that approached her eyes.

''Yes it does. But who says we didn't do that today? What if we put him in danger by causing panic?''

Emily speculated. She had been trying to make sense of it all in her head and she still didn't have a perfect answer. She supposed they just had to deal with each situation as it presented itself.

''I lost Aiden to a silent, insidious disease that stole him away bit by bit. Something that I couldn't do anything about, I couldn't fight it for him. Thinking of loosing Henry to something similar...''

Emily lifted her hand up and brushed some of JJ's soft blonde hair back before cupping the side of her face, using her thumb to stroke away the single tear that escaped. JJ looked at her with a vulnerability that was heartbreaking. She didn't like to talk about Aiden's disease; she preferred to remember him as him. Emily couldn't imagine what it was like to watch someone you loved that much slowly get taken away from you and she knew JJ was scared to death of it happening again. Of feeling that helpless and useless. Although the brunette was sure Aiden never found her to be useless or helpless. JJ had told her about what had happened when he had been ill, and JJ had done a lot for him. Things that not everyone, even siblings and parents, would be prepared to do. She had been right by his side to get him through the pain and Emily was sure that had meant the world to him.

''Hey, it isn't going to happen, okay? Look at him.''

JJ looked at the still sleeping boy between them. He had grown yet again, and his soft blonde hair was ruffled just slightly from his wiggling. He looked so adorable when he slept, so content and blissful. He smelt perfect, that clean baby smell mixing with the smell of sleep. He had a soft white all-in-one on with coloured dinosaurs all over it.

''He's perfect.''

Emily whispered, her voice cracked a little bit. Whatever they had done or not done today, somehow it had worked out. They had done their job. And at the end of the day that's what they had to do.

''I have to believe in what we're doing. I do believe in it. We're doing it for him now. And no matter what our sins while we do, he's protected by it. By us. By our strength to stick to what we ultimately know will keep him safe. They'll be more dilemmas, more choices down the line. It's not the only time we'll be tested. But right now? This time? I think we made the right choices, and he's right here with us.''

JJ looked at Emily again and saw the strength of conviction in her eyes and it instantly made her know that what she said was true. She made her feel so safe it was beyond words. Emily had this doubt in the back of her mind somewhere that she could turn into her Father one day but to JJ that just seemed like something that'd never be possible. She was the safest person she had ever met. She was so much that she could even begin to describe accurately. All she knew that Emily was her life, and she had never even thought about making more life with her. Making Henry with her was possibly the best decision that she'd made in her life. She believed in what they did too, she believed in Emily and their strength together to do whatever it took to protect the little soul that they had made and that they loved.

''I love you so much.''

JJ whispered with that same emotional crack running through her voice. Emily smiled softly again as she nodded. Leaning forward carefully over Henry to give her wife a gentle but meaningful kiss.

''I love you too.''

The two of them didn't know exactly how long they remained just being and watching their son sleep. Just cocooned in the bubble of their bedroom. Eventually they fell asleep too, Henry safely remaining between them both.


	12. Stars

Sorry for again not updating fast. Been having lots of trouble with conjuring ideas and being creative! And plus, life gets in the way of these things. Chapter is rated M? For 18? Anyways, sex is involved.

xxx

''See that one there? The Plough?''

Emily asked as she pointed up toward the night sky that was littered with glowing stars. It was an extremely clear night and it was nice to just be relaxing and taking some time out with her wife. It now felt okay again to star gaze she had felt a little put off after the case with 'The Angel Maker', and it was only her familiarity with the star constellations that helped her to figure that out. After that she hadn't much wanted to take pleasure in stargazing but enough time had passed and it felt nice.

They were stretched out on one of the sun beds in their back garden and everything was warm and quiet. Emily was stretched out on her back with JJ snuggled into her, head resting on her shoulder at an angle where she could look up into the sky easily. Emily loved being close to JJ like this. They had a garden table next to them with their phones, the baby monitor and a couple of bottles of beer on it. Henry was fast asleep after falling asleep snuggled up in JJ's arms as she read to him.

''Where?''

Even though JJ asked Emily had the sneaking suspicion that the blonde knew exactly where she was pointing and what the plough looked like. She didn't say anything though, she wasn't wholly sure but something told her that JJ liked to give her chance to talk about her knowledge after hearing countless stories of Emily's about being in different countries and spending hours studying them, just looking up and being able to breathe and realising how big everything was. It was sweet.

''See there, the handle and the pan?''

''Oh yeah, I see it. Like a dipper.''

''Exactly. That's the Ursa Major. And if you follow the front of the bowl upward, to right there, the North Star, or Polaris? See it?''

''Ah ha.''

''That little cluster its with there? That's the Ursa Minor. Or, The Little Bear.''

JJ looked intently into the night sky, and Emily tried not to laugh at how sweet her concentration was. Even in relative darkness JJ's eyes shone brightly.

''_That's _a bear?''

The blonde exclaimed in almost disbelief, making the brunette chuckle lightly as she nodded, her hand running through her wife's silky hair.

''Yeah! And look, follow the curve of the handle there and you can see Arcturus. It's really bright, see?''

Emily began to circle her finger in the air to try and circle around the constellation she was showing JJ now.

''It's part of that constellation there, Bootes.''

''I see it Em. What's that one there?''

The blonde wondered, moving down from the bottom of the 'dipper' to a little constellation with a bright star within it.

''That's Leo right there. That star you see, the bright one? It's Regulus.''

''It's beautiful. They're all beautiful.''

''They really are.''

JJ looked up toward Emily and placed a gentle kiss on her lips before squeezing the arm she had wrapped around the brunette softly.

''Do you remember that trip we took before we got engaged? The one in the mountains at the cabin?''

Emily scoffed and nodded.

''How can I forget? The sky was so clear there that we slept outside!''

She exclaimed fondly. She thought about that trip from time to time it had been so wonderful. They had been in their own little bubble from Friday to Monday and just relaxed with no city in sight and just the peace of nature around them. It had been warm enough to sleep outside and they had done twice because it was so beautiful. The moon had been full and bright and it had been perfect. Making love with JJ out there under that sky in the moonlight had been perfect.

''We did a little more than sleep.''

JJ murmured as she began to kiss her wife's neck slowly. Emily sighed just ever so softly at the feeling her head automatically tipping a little to let the blonde continue.

''Yes we did. Are you thinking what I think you're thinking?''

Emily agreed and enquired with temptation filling her voice. JJ murmured as she kissed her way up to Emily's jaw and up to her ear.

''If you're thinking that I want to make love to you right now, then yes.''

Emily couldn't think of an objection. Why would she want to object anyway? That would've just bee crazy talk. No one could see them out here nothing overlooked their garden and they had had sex out here before, on more than a handful of times! And she would have been lying if she said she hadn't thought about it as they had come out here. Everything was okay and it was warm and clear out, they were having some time together just being them so why not?

''Well great minds think alike!''

The brunette joked softly, breathing out as JJ's hand wondered over her breast as she nipped just under her jaw again, licking and kissing there afterward. Emily turned her head slightly and they fell into a leisurely kiss, all languid and deep and feeling. For as long as she lived she didn't think she'd ever tire of being with JJ she was phenomenal. Her hand left the back of JJ's head and glided down her back, finding the gap between her t-shirt and her jeans and exploring the skin there.

''I love you so much.''

JJ whispered as their mouths came apart momentarily.

''I love you too.''

They fell into their kiss again a little faster than the previous but still as deep. They explored the warmth of each other's mouths as they had many times before and JJ moved her hand to easily undo the buttons of her wife's deep blue shirt, not rushing but taking the time. Once she had done them all, she pushed the opposite sides half out of the way, exposing Emily's skin to the open air, and then drew back the other half nearer her too. Her fingers glided in random patterns around smooth pale skin that she had explored and tasted many times and had memories every inch of it. She never bored of doing it all again though, feeling and tasting it. Never ceased to be amazed at how soft and warm it was, how beautiful Emily was. She'd never stop being amazed at that. She bowed her head to place single kisses along the top of Emily's chest as her hand continued its explorations of the brunette's stomach and abdomen, sometimes dipping teasingly just within the top of her jeans. The blonde then kissed over the very tops of those voluptuous breasts, her thumb rubbing the very bottoms of them along the hem of her deep purple lace bra. Emily sighed and moaned lightly at the same time, squirming just a little under the touches. Especially as JJ licked between the valley of her breasts.

The younger woman sat up and looked at Emily, her bright eyes having turned darker but still glowing and flickering like the flames of a fire. Emily understood the silent request and sat up a bit too. As she did, JJ used her hand to begin pushing the shirt off of her wife as she kissed along her shoulder and nipped at where it met her neck, her other arm was propping herself up for the time being. Emily helped shrug her shirt off and as soon as she was free and the article of clothing hit the grass the brunette moved in to kiss JJ her hands going to each side of the blonde's head. JJ kissed back strongly as she let her hand moved up and down Emily's body, at her front and then over her back, tracing lines up the older woman's spine that made her shiver. Then she took the bra in her fingers and skillfully snapped it open, and she pulled her hand back with the lace fabric with it, and eased it away from her wife and exposing the exquisite breasts it had been holding. That too hit the grass and JJ's wondering hand wondered right back to Emily's body wasting no time in cupping a bare breast within her hand. Emily moaned into her mouth as she bucked lightly at the feeling.

JJ gently pushed Emily back again and once she was laid back down the blonde ducked her head again to wrap her mouth around the hardened nipple. Emily groaned lowly her hands weaving into JJ's hair as her eyes flickered closed as she was engulfed by sensation as her wife sucked, nipped and flicked her nipple, squeezing her whole breast with her hand as she did. After giving it her undivided for a few moments JJ moved to the other one, taking her time to give it exactly the same treatment.

Emily squirmed slightly but was ready for JJ's mouth as the blonde moved up to kiss her again heatedly her hand staying between her breasts. Emily pushed her back slightly and for a second JJ looked confused but the brunette tugged on the end of her t-shirt and JJ swiftly pulled it up over her head and tossed it aside. They kissed passionately again with hands roaming skin and Emily also removed JJ's bra, unleashing her breasts and pulling her close so that she could give them the attention they deserved with her mouth too, so this time it was JJ's turn to groan and squirm. After spending time exploring and tasting skin, taking time to really feel and connect and build one another up, they paused just briefly enough to get rid of their shoes, socks, jeans and underwear. Neither of them thinking twice about being naked in the warm night air.

''You're so beautiful.''

Emily said breathily as she looked at JJ intently her breathing as well as her wife's hitched and quickened. She was still lying on her back with JJ tucked into her on her side. She enjoyed the feel of JJ's body pressing into her own and could feel the heat from her body too.

''You're beautiful too Em.''

JJ moved her foot between Emily's leg to get leverage to pull the brunette's leg sideways, opening her up as she moved in to kiss her again. Her hand went back to kneading her breasts her thumb raking over her hard and sensitive nipples. She shivered as Emily ran her nails down her back and knew it was a good sign. Emily always started doing that when she was wet and ready. Ducking her head again JJ took one of those nipples into her mouth at the same time that she slid her fingers into the velvety folds that were slick for her. Emily groaned gutturally and bucked her hips, one hand clutching onto the side of the sun bed and the other clutching JJ.

The blonde continued to give her wife double stimulation taking turns with her breasts and moving her fingers over the length of her before focusing her attention on the sensitive clit, rubbing it and applying pressure and making Emily moan and writhe in the process. She coordinated her efforts, nipping at nipples as she tweaked the clit, or using her mouth to suck as she'd use her thumb to push up, rolling and circling too. Basically turning Emily into mush. The brunette had flung her head back and was completely lost in the pleasure she was receiving and her skin grew hotter and JJ knew the signs of how her wife was building up. She slid her fingers down to Emily's opening and slid them deep into her sex, eliciting a loud cry from the older woman. JJ moved inside the tight hot shaft as her palm kept on caressing Emily clit too. She pushed in and out and twisted her fingers just how she knew got Emily hotter and could tell that her wife was very close now. All she heard was heavy breathing with some here and there muttering, the walls of her sex starting to convulse. JJ kept going, driving Emily toward the edge at full throttle until she felt those walls properly start to contract around her fingers. She hooked her fingers to push up against that special spot, making the brunette yelp in pleasure and moan toward her climax. She was too far-gone to form any words though. But when she came she came hard, with a guttural moan as she exploded around JJ's hand. The blonde continued to rub and move inside of her throughout until she slowly eased it down to a stop, however she didn't remove her hand just yet. She did lift her head up though, taking time to caress as she moved up, kissing softly along flushed skin until she was kissing Emily's cheek and the corner of her mouth. She was still breathing heavily and had her eyes closed so JJ kissed around her face lovingly, waiting for her to come around.

''That…that was amazing…you're amazing.''

Emily's voice was cracked and still hushed from all the moaning and groaning but very pleased and satisfied too. She opened her eyes to look up at JJ who pulled back just enough to look back at her smiling softly with a sense of satisfaction that she had made Emily feel that good.

''I love feeling you. Feeling you and touching you, tasting you, being inside you. I just love everything about making love to you. And I always get this sense of pride. Not about me but you. Like part of me still can't believe you're mine to touch in such an intimate way. I know it probably sounds stupid because we've been together for so long, we're married and have a baby and everything, but its still there. I don't think it'll ever go away, and I don't think I want it to.''

Emily reached up to tuck the strands of JJ's hair back as they fell forward in front of her face as she listened to the gorgeous voice of her wife's and related to what she was saying.

''It's not stupid I feel exactly the same with you.''

''You do?''

Emily smiled softly.

''Yeah.''

Lifting her head up she gave JJ the softest kiss. A tender, loving kiss before pulling back again.

''Your turn!''

JJ chuckled softly as Emily maneuvered her to straddle her. When she was settled Emily sat up to come almost face to face with her wife letting JJ push her hair back as they kissed deeply once again. Emily popped herself up with one hand and brought the other up to trace along JJ's back before moving it around to her front to her breast. The blonde moaned very softly at the touch and Emily knew that JJ was very worked up already she could already feel how wet she was because she was straddling her. However she did take the time to fondle those wonderful breasts of her wife's, kneading and squeezing before using her mouth. Her tongue traced teasing patterns along skin until she enveloped a nipple into her mouth making JJ moan into the night her head falling back slightly as she held Emily's head to her.

''God Em…''

Emily gave both of JJ's breasts equal attention before she kissed the blonde's chest and lay back down again. She reached up and felt the length of the body in front of her eyes following and feasting on the sight. The most exquisite sight she'd ever seen. Emily had always loved JJ's body, before, during and after pregnancy. It had gone through changes and the brunette thought they were great. JJ was the sexiest thing on earth as far as she was concerned. Her hands wrapped around slender hips and pushed up slightly giving the gesture to JJ to rise up a little and she did. Emily watched her wife intently as she eased two fingers into her core watching with fascination as JJ's eyes closed and her jaw dropped open slightly and her whole body shuddered at the contact and the feel of her fingers penetrating her. She slid her thumb over her clit causing JJ to jerk before moving inside of her. Her free hand moved back up the delicious body and stroked its way down JJ's arm until she could take her hand and they laced together their fingers. JJ opened her eyes again and watched Emily watching her fascinated by Emily's fascination. There was simply no description for how the brunette would look at her.

JJ moved with the pace of Emily's fingers as her hips rocked around and those delightfully long fingers thrust inside of her. She held Emily's hand tightly as everything flushed through her. Feeling the brunette inside and putting pressure on her clit, being coveted like that. It all drove her wild and she got hotter and hotter. She was so ready for release and Emily was getting her closer and closer to that edge.

''Emily…oh right there baby…''

JJ sucked in a breath as Emily's fingers stroked that happy spot inside of her knowing just how to touch it. The brunette didn't falter in her pace and caressed that rougher patch inside skillfully as JJ's hips rocked. But as she started to get overtaken by the pleasure and the build up of orgasm her rocking became more haphazard and Emily could feel the walls around her fingers tighten. It was only a handful of seconds later that JJ's breathing broke into an even faster pace, her body straightening up as she rocked quickly with all that pressure that broke throughout her. She groaned loudly as she came still holding onto Emily's hand as she did. She lurched forward resting her body on Emily's and the brunette nuzzled the side of her head and kissed her hair gently as she let the blonde ride out her orgasm. She could feel the slickness around her hand and enjoyed its warmth. She loved everything about making her wife cum.

''So, you wanna see some more stars?''

Emily teased jokingly, amusement filling her voice. JJ grunted but still didn't move.

''Do you mean the stars in my head right now?''

She squeaked making Emily chuckle. She eased her hand out from between them and wrapped her arms around the slender blonde. JJ moved to lay down properly over her and they remained still as they held each other for a few moments. JJ then placed a few kisses into Emily's neck and lifted her head up to kiss her softly on the lips.

''How is it that every time I go star gazing with you it ends up in sex?''

She asked playfully. Emily laughed and tried to look innocent as she shrugged lightly.

''To be fair Jennifer most things with us end up in sex!''

JJ laughed and nodded.

''True.''

''We went horseback riding…sex. Drive in the country…sex in the car…''

''God that was fun!''

''Got drunk in Las Vegas…drunk sex. Come home from a case…sex. Wake up in the middle of the night…sex! Henry goes for a nap…sex on the couch! Happens a lot!''

''Well you happen to be irresistible Mrs. Prentiss!'

Emily laughed again.

''So are you Mrs. Prentiss! We're women in our prime. Prime women!''

JJ rolled her eyes and scoffed in amusement as she shook her head at Emily's antics.

''How 'bout these prime women continue this inside?''

JJ suggested with a crooked and suggestive eyebrow. Emily nodded immediately.

''You're on!''

XXX

''So we get to this crappy motel and the manager points us to the room our suspect has rented. Said he had a '_lady friend_' in there with him…''

Emily explained with the edge of a knowing smile inching onto her lips as she re-told this particular little gem of a story that she could usually only just contain herself enough to tell. Annie and Keith, Mary and Peter, all sat in rapture around the dining room table with finished meals and emptying wine glasses. JJ was sitting near Emily already beginning to break as she shook her head that she rested on her forehead and over her face to effectively hide it. She was pretty much the subject of this particular story after all and whereas Emily was always gleeful to tell it she was always left blushing. It was funny however she had to admit that much.

The two Agent's had more or less taken it turns every week or couple of weeks or so with Annie and Keith to have dinner. Just to have some friend time and catch up and what not. Sometimes they had dinner at their houses and sometimes they went out. Sometimes they went dancing or to a movie. But now Mary and Peter had moved onto the street and Annie had adopted them they were getting good friends too so they had joined in the tradition. It was JJ and Emily's turn to host dinner and they had cooked.

''Lady friend?''

Keith repeated dubiously as his eyebrow shot up in amused suspicion. Emily chuckled and nodded with a tip of her head and a slight wince.

''Exactly. So Morgan, JJ and I roll up to this room and we hear _moaning_. Now this guy is supposed to be alone and at this point is our main suspect and there's moaning from behind the door. We're thinking anything could be happening in there…''

''And there was…''

JJ muttered from behind her hand as Emily continued along the story building it up for the others. The blonde mused that she would have to get serious payback on her wife for this. The five of them laughed lightly and if it was possible their friends became more eager to hear the rest of it.

''So we draw our weapons and JJ turns the handle…it's locked. Morgan kicks the door in because he can't wait for the slow assed manager and we all move in. All freaking hell breaks loose. We're shouting 'FBI get down on the floor hands on your head' and all that and this woman starts _screaming_ hysterically underneath our suspect.''

Mary cringed in morbid fascination as the story continued like part of her desperately wanted to know but the other part really could do with not.

''Underneath?''

She repeated within her cringe. Emily raised her eyebrows with 'that' look on her face as she nodded.

''Yep.''

Annie wiggled her finger in the air.

''As in…''

JJ looked up from her hand and widened her eyes slightly with a disturbed look covering her face.

''_Oh yeah_!''

She confirmed with a slightly green look inching in on her face from the memory of this particularly not so delightful incident. Their four friends grimaced and there was a round of distasteful 'eeewwww's' from them as they unfortunately imagined the goings on.

''Oh my god, what happened?''

Peter laughed lightly.

''We ordered the suspect to _dismount_ this hysterical woman. And he says 'I can't, I can't'…we ask him why and he says 'I'm stuck'.''

JJ screwed up her nose in the distaste she still had for the whole incident and tried to keep herself from gipping. It had been a while ago now but the memory was going to stay with them for pretty much ever she expected, particularly given it was one of Emily's favourite 'funny/embarrassing' stories from work involving her. It had been not long after she and the brunette had started dating in fact.

''Stuck? Stuck how?''

Annie wondered in confusion. JJ looked over at her as she was still grimacing but with a slightly incredulous and exasperated look on her face too.

''Oh, there was a piercing.''

The blonde informed with an almost offended squeak and immediately made all of their friends' faces screw up as they realised what she meant. All except Keith who thought about it for a second before he gasped in shock.

''He was _stuck_? Like…_there_?''

He demanded in that stunned gasp to which both Emily and JJ nodded. Another round of 'eeewwww's' crossed the table and Emily laughed lightly.

''What did you do?''

Annie wondered. Emily snickered as she pointed toward her wife.

''Well this one _hid _in the corner of the room with her back to them doubled over hands on knees with her head down trying her best not to throw up or pass out! And believe me we've seen some sickening things but she turned about 6 shades paler than I've ever seen her!''

As everyone broke into laughter including JJ herself she dropped her jaw and jabbed her finger in the air as she prepared to protest and defend herself.

''_Hey_! It was gross okay! The thought of it makes me feel ill never mind having to _see _it!''

The blonde stated both seriously and humorously at the same time. That day had not been a good day. It had totally grossed her out and she remembered that she had dragged Emily home after the case and brunt every single memory of gross heterosexual sex out of her brain. It had worked for the night and made her feel a hell of a lot better and of course it had been a lot of fun but unfortunately it hadn't scrubbed the memory entirely.

JJ thought the only thing that would've done the trick was brain bleach or something. The thing that had made the experience worse she thought, and this was something only a handful of people including Emily knew, was that JJ had never had sex with a man before. She had never been inclined to after figuring out her preferences early on and hadn't felt the need to experiment or force something about it. She had been entirely unprepared for such a graphic visual!

''What happened to the people?''

Peter asked.

''Well after JJ threatened to shoot them from her corner, we had to call an ambulance and take them to the hospital. It turned out this guy wasn't even our killer too!''

Both couples laughed lightly and shook their heads or took sips of their wine as they absorbed the story they had been told. Emily and JJ always had some interesting tales to tell but this one was going to stick with them. The things they had to see were surprising. Of course they had to do and see some horrible and shocking things but they also saw some rather interesting and funny thing too like this.

''Can I ask a question?''

Mary asked as things began to settle down. She was looking between Emily and JJ and they both nodded lightly.

''How did you two come about?''

Emily grunted slightly as she smirked and her eyes looked at her wine glass for a moment as she turned it around.

''Well I guess it started with JJ wanting to be pursued.''

A quick gasp came from JJ and Emily looked at her as the blonde scoffed.

''I did _not _want to be 'pursued'.''

She denied as she drawled out the chosen word and made air quotes with her fingers. It was Emily turn to let out a scoff as she raised her eyebrow.

''You did too.''

''I really did not!''

''You _made _me chase you!''

JJ rolled her eyes and shook her head in incredulity.

''You're so deluded.''

''Jennifer you came onto me and actually _instructed _me on how to ask you out.''

''Oh my god! That was because you never realised I was hitting on you until I had to take matters into my own hands. Every time you tried to ask me out you went all geeky and babbled some excuse when you backed out! You deserved it! But it does not mean I wanted to be pursued.''

JJ stated her version of what had happened. It was quite true that she had indeed instructed Emily to ask her out but after the pitiful attempts of the brunette's to do it and her obliviousness to being hit on JJ had felt the need to kick start it before it was too late.

''Oh but you so didn't argue when you were being.''

Emily pointed out. JJ just grinned sweetly but mischievously.

''Well why would I have wanted to do that? It was fun!''

Emily just laughed and shook her head. It had actually been fun. Once that she had finally realised that JJ was in she hadn't been so shy anymore. There had been times of course because she was a geek but with knowing that JJ was readily available and willing Emily had gotten her smooth confidence back and had set about to do exactly that, pursue the blonde so that she just couldn't resist. It had turned out pretty damn well if she didn't say so herself.

Remembering that they had an audience Emily blushed just slightly as JJ chuckled as she ran through her hair with one hand and reached under the table with the other to hold Emily's and give her hand a squeeze.

''Anyway, it obviously started at work. I was the new girl and JJ orientated me into the unit. We just hit it off. From colleagues to friends to something more.''

Emily explained more seriously.

''Work wasn't an issue?''

JJ shrugged slightly.

''Work is always an issue. But work is what made us both stop struggling too. Without meaning to sound all movie of the week both of us knew that there was something different about the other straight away. And with what we're faced with day in and day out, things you couldn't even imagine, things we don't want you to have to imagine. So to some we moved pretty quickly but to us it was more of why should we waste time? We knew how we felt and in the face of everything we do and everything that can happen we chose to let ourselves have a life together rather than piss away the opportunity.''

The blonde explained with all that meaning and sincerity behind her voice. It was probably more complicated than that but she had boiled it down to its simplest nutshell for now. Everything was true though. As soon as she had set eyes on Emily, JJ had just instinctually known that something about her was very different. The way she was drawn to her was like nothing she had experienced before and for once in her life she hadn't struggled against it. She had let herself fall, let herself go, let herself get carried away by the tide. When it was real she had nothing to resist against. Every part of her had known that they just fit together so seamlessly and they could have a fantastic life together. And that's what they were having. It was a marriage like everyone else's sure. They had their problems, their disagreements, their fights. They had differences of opinions on more than a handful of things but that's what made it interesting. JJ loved her life. It could be hard but it was worth it. She loved Emily with everything she had and out of their love they had had Henry. They had a great life together.

''That doesn't sound movie of the week JJ. With everything you guys do and see I for one am definitely glad you have something you both deserve. You're one of the most natural couples I've ever met.''

Annie stated honestly making both women blush just ever so slightly. They looked at one another briefly before the subject moved on. The three couples talked about a lot of things and had a lot to laugh about as they went. It was nice to just relax and not really thing about work even though there had been mentions of it. Mary asked some more questions about Emily and JJ's relationship and the couple were happy to answer, they were only questions that would be asked of anyone you were getting to know and it wasn't like Mary and Peter didn't answer many of the same questions. They were still getting to know each other after all.

It was late by the time they two couples left the house. Emily and JJ made quick work of doing some tidying up before making sure everything was switched off and locked downstairs and put the alarm on as they made their way upstairs with Emily leading JJ by the hand. They checked on their soundly sleeping son who had enjoyed being fussed over by their four friends before he had drifted off to sleep. Emily had laughed earlier when Henry had decided it was a fun game to splash JJ with the water as she gave him a bath and he had squealed in absolute delight at his efforts. JJ had been soaked by the time she had finished and Emily had had no qualms in standing back with the camera, laughing and encouraging her mischievous son.

After leaving Henry's room and walking down the hall and entering theirs Emily pushed the door closed and spun JJ slightly so that she had enough momentum to pull the blonde flush up against her into an immediate kiss. One deep and telling and heated. JJ's arms wrapped around Emily's neck as she pulled the bodies tighter together as their tongues dueled for dominance. It was passionate and zealous.

''A little amorous there Agent Prentiss!''

JJ teased lightly as they broke apart just slightly to take in some air. JJ felt Emily smile against her lips before placing another kiss on her own as the brunette's arms wrapped around her waist and pulled her into a hug.

''I love you.''

''I love you too.''

Emily took a light breath in.

''Earlier when you were talking? I started thinking about where we started and where we are. What's to come. We have such a great life together Jen, and I don't think I tell you enough how amazing I think you are and how you've made me so unbelievably happy. I don't know what I did to deserve you but I'm not going to argue!''

Emily stated sincerely with the emotion filling her voice as she continued to hold onto her wife. She knew how unbelievably lucky she was and back when she had finally gotten her assignment to the BAU she had had no idea she was walking into the rest of her life too. She smiled as JJ leant back and moved her hands to hold the sides of her face and initiated another kiss.

''You know I feel the same.''

Emily nodded as she still smiled seeing everything shining in piercing blue eyes.

''I do.''

JJ smiled as she ran her hand through some of Emily's dark and silky hair for a second before leaning in and kissing her again.

XXX

''C'mon Henry, open wide!''

JJ encouraged her son as he looked around the kitchen to see what was going on. He wiggled in his high chair before looking back at JJ who was holding out a spoon full of breakfast and he hummed as he reached forward and clasped part of the spoon and part of JJ's fingers and pulled as he leant forward and opened his mouth for the spoon to go in.

''That's it, good boy!''

Emily looked around from her position by the counter top that held the coffee to smile as she watched Henry chomp some more, some of his breakfast smeared across his adorable little face. She could tell he was happy and he looked at JJ with big bright blue eyes that were active and thoughtful.

''He's been doing that a lot lately, taking the spoons.''

Emily mused thoughtfully, turning around so she could lean back on the counter top while nursing her coffee mug in her hands. It had been a good morning. Actually a very easy morning and they still had plenty of time to spare before leaving for work.

''Yeah something tells me our little heartbreaker is almost ready to feed himself. Just needs a little bit more coordination, don't ya Chubs!''

On cue Henry cooed.

''Ba-ma!''

JJ laughed at his squeak.

''Ma-ma!''

She tried to encourage determined that he would say it any day now.

''Ba-ba-ba!''

Emily laughed at her sons response seeing the twinkle in his eyes an almost believing that he was doing it on purpose to be mischievous! JJ was laughing too and Henry bounced and hummed again, laughing his little baby laugh as his blonde Mother scooped some more of his breakfast up.

''Here comes the airplane! Whooosh!''

Henry howled as JJ pulled faces and made airplane noises and glided the spoon in the air dramatically and aiming for his mouth. He opened up and chomped on some more, thoroughly enjoying that and JJ's antics. Emily was still laughing off to the side. The only thing that broke the mood was JJ's blackberry that began to ring and vibrate across the table. She groaned and reached out for it.

''Agent Jareau. Yes Sir, it is. 10? Do you have any confirmation? Okay. Okay. What's the status now? Yes Sir I understand. Do you have my email or fax number? Yeah, everything you have. Thank you. I'll contact you as soon as I do. Goodbye.''

JJ sighed after she ended the call and looked at her son that was waiting his next spoonful before looking up at Emily, that guilty tint in her eyes.

''You have to go.''

Emily surmised from that look. JJ sighed again and nodded.

''I do, I'm sorry.''

Emily put down her coffee and shook her head as she stepped forward.

''Don't be, it's okay. Here, I'll finish feeding him.''

Even though this is what she did and she knew it was important JJ hated to leave her son particularly when they were having so much fun. All she had wanted to do was have a nice breakfast. Feed Henry and play with him a little before they had to leave. Instead she stood up and gave the bowl and spoon to Emily. Sensing her disappointed air Emily leant in and gave JJ a tender kiss.

''I'll see you at work baby.''

JJ just nodded taking a breath in and turning back to Henry. He looked up at her with his food smeared face and she smiled and leant down to kiss his chubby cheeks which he giggled at.

''And you my hansom man, I will see you soon. I love you.''

Standing upright again but still with her hand on her boys head she kissed Emily again.

''And I love you.''

''I love you too.''

JJ smiled and walked through the kitchen having grabbed a piece of toast on her way past. In the hallway she grabbed her jacket and her satchel and opened the door just as Annette was about to put the key in.

''JJ! Hi!''

The blonde smiled warmly.

''Hey good morning. Emily and Chubs are in the kitchen, but I just got called in. So it's hi and bye right now!''

Annette nodded in understanding as she stepped into the hallway.

''No worries. Have a good one, take care!''

''Thanks, see you later.''

After that JJ was gone. Annette always told them to have a good one, despite knowing that technically there really wasn't a 'good' one in their job. There were better days and outcomes but the only good day would be one with no serial offenders. But she said it to try and keep them above the water. It was nice.

XXX

''Is he any good?''

''He better be. I trained him.''

The plane went quieter as Rossi looked over the information that JJ had passed to him everyone beginning to think things over. Hotch moved off toward the end of the place to think with his file and Reid went to get a quick cup of coffee while there was still time.

''I think I'll get a coffee too.''

Morgan announced softly. JJ stood up to let him out and was about to sit down when her phone rang again. Emily watched her wife look at the caller ID and sigh, a flash of pain moving through her eyes before she answered.

''Hey Mom…''

The blonde said quietly as she looked around for a quiet place to sit. She found one and perched on the edge of the seat, speaking quietly as not to be heard as she leant forward and propped her head up with her other hand, her hair falling forward. Emily bit her bottom lip lightly and frowned in worry as she watched JJ's tense posture. They were on their way to Canada to see a killer of possibly 10 or more people but she hadn't looked at tense as she did now talking to her Mother.

''Hey, you okay?''

Rossi asked softly. He had looked up to say something but hesitated as he spotted Emily's concerned look and decided to enquire about that instead. She turned to him that thoughtful worried frown still on her face.

''Huh? Oh, yeah I guess.''

She said almost airily as though she were in a little bit of a reverie. Now Rossi frowned.

''Are you sure? Are you and JJ okay?''

''Yeah we're fine. It's just, its coming up to a hard time for her.''

''Oh? How so?''

Emily sighed as she looked toward JJ again to see that she was still on the phone to her Mother. She turned back to Rossi.

''There's an anniversary coming up shortly…it's painful for her.''

She explained and didn't at the same time elusively. Rossi drew in a breath of understanding and nodded.

''I think I know. She told me about her brother, Aiden right? He died around now?''

Emily took in a breath but stopped for a moment as she frowned, her head shaking slowly almost on its own accord.

''No…not Aiden. She lost someone else too. She told you about Aiden?''

Rossi nodded.

''Yeah. We had a little heart to heart a few cases ago, the arson case in Royal, Indiana. She told me about him and a little about her family, but not about loosing anyone else.''

Emily looked at her wife again. She was still on the phone. Not talking anymore but just listening.

''Yeah. She…it's hard for her to talk about. And she was younger. She thinks about it everyday but she doesn't really talk much about it. She's talked to me about it, mentions things here and there, but its just…I guess its just so hard to bring it up too often. She has a lot of pain to carry.''

Emily voice got softer and lower at the end, more speculative. She hated that JJ had to carry it but her wife did it anyway. She thought about her brother and her sister every single day and Emily couldn't image what that was like. She had her own things to carry but not quite like this. Two siblings being lost so young was tragic and it still hurt JJ that she couldn't do anything about it. And it wasn't just the sadness she carried it was the anger that went along with it too. And around this time every year, along with Aiden's time of year, she heard a lot more from her family.

''You always help her.''

Rossi pointed out gaining Emily's attention again.

''I hope so.''

''Hey, at least she's talked to you about it. If she didn't have you she probably wouldn't have. Sometimes the best thing you can do is just listen. Be there and listen and hold her. You do that a lot for each other.''

Emily smiled at her elder.

''Thanks David.''

Just as he was about to say something else Morgan and Reid plopped themselves down into the empty chairs, discussing the ins and outs of the case details they knew so far. After a few minutes of barely taking part in the conversation because she was more interested watching JJ Emily excused herself when JJ got off the phone. She walked over and went to sit in front of her wife.

''Penny for your thoughts.''

JJ looked up and smiled softly, a little sadly. She lifted up her phone and wiggled it lightly.

''Mom. She wants us to go up when…I don't think I can Emily. Not that weekend. That place is like a graveyard. ''

''Hey, we don't have to go anywhere. We can do whatever you want JJ.''

JJ smiled faintly.

''I want to go, I just don't want to go there. With everyone circling around, it gets so hard to breathe.''

''Then we won't stay there. We'll take the baby with us and stay in a hotel nearby. How's that? We can show our faces and leave whenever you want to.''

Emily suggested knowing that JJ did want to go home if for nothing else than to go to the graveside of her lost sister. It wasn't so much that she didn't want to go home it was just the pressure her family made was so immense that it was hard to deal with normally never mind on those days. JJ did have a nice family, even the blonde said that a lot. But it had suffered a lot of damage and things had been broken or lost so it was hard at the same time.

''Let's just get through this case first, okay?''

Emily nodded and smiled at JJ's suggestion. They could talk about it later. Right now they had an immediate objective in mind.

XXX

JJ stared at the bottom of the old metallic bunk above her it was the small hours of the night and they had been ordered to try and get some rest but the details of this case kept going around and around in her head. Names and numbers and life histories and all the rest of it. People disappeared so easily. It was actually kind of scary. She knew she had more work to do soon and she should try and sleep but it ward hard to with everything rattling through her brain. Not just about the case but also about her personal life. She thought about Emily and Henry and she thought about her family and the place she came from and her unease about facing them in a couple of weeks. She loved them but it was hard to get along sometimes it was hard for all of them to understand each other the pain and sorrow had seen to that. Her parents were very happy about Henry and they didn't tend to make too much of a fuss over the fact she had married a women but she knew its not what they wanted either.

Now that she was a Mother herself JJ thought a lot about family dynamics. About the Mothering instinct. She could never imagine not supporting and loving her son. If he was straight or gay, she didn't care. If he got into trouble she'd be there to help him. Hell if he got someone pregnant in school she could deal with all of that. She was going to make sure that he knew that he could tell her, and Emily, anything. That he didn't have to be afraid to talk and he knew it was a good thing to. She wanted to reduce the fear and enhance trust and hopefully good communication would help to make sure they remained close. Henry and any other children they had, which JJ knew was wanted by Emily and herself. She couldn't imagine not being involved in his life. Really she only lived 4 hours away and that was nothing. It wasn't so much the distance it was the lack of effort. Phone calls and emails here and there to catch up, sometimes letters were sent. But it wasn't really involvement. Morgan's family lived in Chicago and his Mom and sisters were involved in his life even from there.

However much the situation got to her though JJ did recognise that her parents had been through more than enough to have yet another child leave them. Not in the same respect but JJ couldn't let go because she loved them and they had lost enough. Having their daughter cut off contact would only hurt them and herself. She wanted Henry to know them and she hoped one day things would improve.

JJ sighed as she moved on the single bunk onto her side and pushed her hands underneath her pillow and curled up. She really hated sleeping without Emily now she had grown accustomed to sleeping with someone every night. They had to do it sometimes for work and such things but it didn't mean either of them liked it. Not that they could have slept together in the station here with its couple rows of bunk beds. Reid was on the bottom bunk at the right side of her, Hotch was above her and Rossi above Reid. It was only a quick chance to catch some sleep and they could shower and change when it was time to get moving again. Emily had called her earlier to talk from the station in Detroit but they had only kept it light considering Morgan was there and Reid was next to her at the time too. JJ had called home to make sure everything was okay with Henry and Annette had everything they needed and was relieved to know everything was just fine.

As she started to think about her son JJ finally drifted off. Although not for long because the next thing she knew she was being woken up and everyone was waking up and coffee with some breakfast foods had been brought in for them as they went about getting ready quickly.

XXX

The morning was tiring in that JJ had to weed through a mass of information trying to track down these people they were looking for finding family members to contact but hating that she couldn't give them any real information but tell them that they were looking into these disappearances. Part of the worst thing of her job was telling family members about bad news, that their sons and daughters, wives and husbands, friends and lovers, parents and every other thing that their loved one could be or was dead. Not just dead though, murdered. She'd already had two weeping Mother's and an hysterical brother over the phone as Reid walked in as she talked to get another concerned relative.

Despite these circumstances though she had found that many of these parents, particularly the Mother's, had not given up hope on their lost children. And briefly she wished that her siblings had been lost in a different way. That there could be a hope of finding them again and getting them back safely, but she along with her own parents and family had had them stolen from them forever.

Just like all these people were stolen. She looked at the faces, in the eyes of stolen people everyday. Stolen not by disease or desperate sadness and hopelessness, but vicious killers. The people she wanted to help stop. Including this one here. So she did what she always did. She did her job and did it well, no matter what it was, and she relied on her professionalism to do it.

XXX

It got late again. Sometimes on this job the days could just fly right out of your grasp and it could be both a blessing and a curse. Time was short and everyone was itching to find this unsub and with the heavy looming feeling pressing on everyone it was getting frustrating just waiting. But that's what they had to do sometimes. JJ found herself scanning the cars at the Canadian border crossing watching the guards as they inspected closely.

''Are you okay?''

Rossi's soft voice eased through her daze of scanning every car in sight.

''Hmm?''

She grunted softly in distraction blue eyes still looking around.

''You seem quiet. Is it the case?''

JJ breathed in deeply but softly as she let her eyes flick onto him for a second before she looked back toward the moving cars. He waited patiently for a couple of moments as she thought.

''I guess. I'm okay, just… thoughtful.''

She had always been good at giving an answer without an actual answer. He quirked his eyebrow and turned his head to look at her slightly amused by the response. As she realised he was looking at her she turned to him with a quizzical look on her face that amused him more.

''What?''

She squeaked. He grunted in his amusement and looked back.

''You are very good at holding onto personal information! I mean I thought I was good, but you? Damn!''

JJ blinked, looking at him for a little longer before looking back at the cars.

''I share. Just not often!''

''You got that right.''

''Like you say, you're not exactly a chatterbox either. It can be hard enough on these cases without bringing in the personal, you know?''

Rossi nodded lightly.

''Plus, this might sound all girly and pathetic but I don't care, I miss Emily.''

''Jennifer if there's one description that is the furthest away from you its pathetic. You're entitled to miss your wife. You two have something that we all wish we had. No one is going to begrudge you of it.''

JJ smiled lightly.

''Thanks.''

''You're welcome. But if you need to talk the door is always open.''

''I know. Likewise.''

The conversation dropped off into a comfortable silence again as they continued to scan the crossing vigilantly. There was nothing yet and it was even more frustrating. Eventually the other half of their team joined back with them. However, there was no real time for pleasantries.

Emily unfastened her seatbelt and practically jumped out of the car as Morgan pulled up eager not only to come up with a plan but also to see her wife. She saw JJ getting out of the SUV with Rossi and pulling her jacket on and jogged over negotiating the slow moving traffic that was coming through the checks.

''We're setting up over there.''

The brunette pointed over her shoulder as she looked at Rossi with the silent 'please leave' look running through her eyes. Rossi nodded and headed over as JJ rounded the front of the car.

''Can I walk a lady over to the car?''

Emily teased lightly which made JJ smile and then look around.

''Yeah, let me just find one!''

Emily laughed and nudged her wife with her elbow. Instinctually she put a hand at the small of JJ's back as they began to negotiate their way back across the lanes.

''I wish we had more time. And the chance for a proper hello.''

The brunette lamented.

''Well the sooner we get this done the sooner we can help the victims and stop this guy, and have time right?''

Emily nodded in agreement to JJ's statement.

''Yeah we will. And sleep!''

JJ scoffed and rolled her eyes as they got over to the others as Hotch was spreading a map out on the hood of the car. Then it all became about business again. Emily went with Hotch and William Hightower to the river crossing and from there everything went fast. They geared up and headed to the Mason farm with directions straight from their Goddess of all knowledge and stormed into the premises. The farm was large so they split up to search every inch of it looking for their unsub, victims and evidence of the goings on here.

They didn't expect what they found though. Far from it. Their unsub seemed to be a man that couldn't possibly move from his bed, couldn't breathe on his own. An unsub that was likely responsible for orchestrating something so terribly vile they could feel it that looming feeling pressing in on their shoulders. It was a sickly feeling. This farm just wasn't right.

That feeling was just backed up by what Emily and Morgan found. The huge box full of shoes. So much more than any of them were expecting and that looming feeling pressed down even further. So many shoes and a pen full of pigs that could easily get rid of evidence of bodies. It really was vile. The atmosphere was thick and horrible and seemed to start seeping into their bones as the seconds ticked by.

Even Garcia was called in to sort through this mess. But at least they still had some flicker of hope for Kelly.

XXX

''Hey.''

JJ turned at Emily's voice behind her as she approached.

''Hey.''

Emily lifted up the picture and wiggled it a little.

''We need this image circulating when the press get here.''

The brunette said solemnly, stopping in front of her wife and handing out the frame. JJ looked at it for a second before taking it and then glanced at the picture. She sighed tiredly and nodded in understanding.

''You okay?''

Emily enquired softly as she lifted her hand to touch JJ lightly on her elbow still aware they were in plain view and in a place that made her skin literally want to walk off.

''I love my job. I love doing something to make a difference and I love working side by side with you. But sometimes I just…I don't know where to put it. Where do I put this Emily? We don't know the whole story yet and I still think it's fucking sick. How many lives have been lost here? It's all so pointless. These people praying on innocents when they don't have the right.''

It wasn't with a lack of devotion or a feeling of uselessness that drove her to rant it was anger at seeing so many lives being lost when they didn't have to be. It got to them all sometimes. JJ had felt like this before, sometimes mad and sometimes empty and sometimes emotional. She'd been pushed to the edge a lot in her work but now it was anger that rose out of being stood in this vile farm. Emily nodded as she ran her tongue along her lips and stroked the back of the blonde's arm lightly.

''I know baby. To be honest I'm not sure where to put this either right now. So let's focus on what needs to be done the rest we can sort out after. Together.''

JJ looked at her wife and saw such sincerity and openness and it made her smile just a little wishing that she could hold her right now.

''I wouldn't know what I'd do without you, you know that?''

Emily smirked.

''Well that's not something you have to worry about because I'm not going anywhere. And I don't know what I'd do without you either.''

The two had a shared moment. A second of just them with their secret language they had before the bubble was interrupted by the Officer's coming up to JJ to see what was required of them so she could set up and get ready for the influx of media and families. Then it was all back to business.

It was a long hard night and when dawn finally came and went that influx came. Somewhere in the night JJ had put her jacket down somewhere, or left it in a car so she took her wife's to present a professional and calm front when it was her time to coordinate everyone around the chaos of the farm. It was a nasty display they had to offer as dogs sniffed around and forensic officers and law enforcement and tactical moved around everywhere. IT was harrowing to see all those shoes spread along the blue mat for all to see as a representative for lives lost.

Including William Hightower's sister.

XXX

''Jayj I don't…she…I…''

JJ put her hand on her best friends shoulder as Penelope looked up at her helplessly it was so hard for her to be here like this and feel useless even though she wasn't. She had cracked that laptop and gotten the evidence and reasons out of it. But that phone call from Kelly had hurt her.

''It's okay, they'll get her Penelope. She knows she's being looked for because of you, okay?''

Garcia nodded still in shock and turned to look back at the computer but JJ didn't take her hand from her shoulder for a few minutes. The time seemed to move so slowly here but what happened next seemed to go as fast as lightening. As Garcia moved walk around and JJ was taking sips of coffee that had been handed to her by some nameless person she heard the click of a shotgun. Reacting immediately she drew her weapon and moved.

''Stay behind me.''

She ordered the technical analyst as she navigated her way to the door and aim her gun at William Hightower. This was a hero, a man that had survived Iraq and had gotten them to come here by sacrificing himself. Just looking for his sister, searching and doing anything to get her back. She related to him in a certain way because she'd do anything to get hers back too. Now here he was aiming a shotgun at Mason Turner.

''_Drop it_!''

The blonde yelled forcefully but it was too late. William fired and that was the end of it the end of Mason Turner. Blood spattered the wall and JJ heard Garcia scream behind her as Hightower just stared at the man that had killed his only sister. A man that would likely have never been convicted for his crimes.

''Drop your weapon, but your hands in the air. Right now.''

Hightower did as he was ordered to do as JJ lowered her gun and moved behind him, pulling his arms down one by one to cuff him. He didn't make any move to resist her and she looked behind to the open door as Officer's rushed in.

''Take him outside and get the medics in here.''

Hightower was escorted outside and there was shouts for the medics. Not that it would do any good considering Mason Turner's face didn't exist anymore. It was a gruesome sight but JJ looked at the body as the monitors bleeped. She couldn't find it in herself to pity him but she was angry at William Hightower for being the last of his victims.

The blonde numbly holstered her weapon as the medics dashed in and Rossi stood in the doorway. She looked at him for a moment before moving back into the other room to see Garcia crouched down but doubled over slightly. Immediate concern shot through her and she went over to her friend and crouched down next to her putting her arm around her shoulders.

''It's okay…it's okay…''

JJ was ready for Garcia to turn into her and wrap her arms around her tightly as she cried from the sight she had just seen. JJ held onto her and let her cry.

XXX

The news came back fast that Kelly was alive but Lucas was dead. After calming Garcia down and helping to get her things back and taking her to one of the cars to sit in and have a few moments by herself, JJ looked across the farm to where Hightower was sat inside the back of a police cruiser. She walked over the distance and nodded to the Officer watching him who stepped back a ways to let them talk. For a moment Hightower and JJ just looked at one another.

''He killed my sister and they wouldn't have been able to do a thing to him.''

He eventually said.

''You don't know that for sure. It was improbable but not impossible. There are other ways they could have made his life not worth living William.''

''Improbable wasn't good enough.''

''So you sacrificed your life for him? You Mother looses her other child because of him?''

He flinched at the mention of his Mother and clenched his jaw.

''She'll understand.''

JJ shook her head.

''No, she won't. You're the only one she had left and now you'll be going down for murder.''

''Have you ever lost someone? Like I have?''

JJ swallowed as she looked around. The Officer was still a ways away with Rossi having joined him and looking speculative as to what they were talking about. But it seemed okay to talk.

''Yes, I have. They weren't murdered but they were taken from me. My sister first, and then my brother. And it ruined my family. We're just…we're hanging onto each other by a thread pretending we're happy and everything is fine but its not. Because they're gone, and there's nothing we can do about it. My parents have each other, my other two siblings. I have my own family now. And god I would have probably wanted to do what you did in the same position but as a Mother, I know now, he wasn't worth it. She wouldn't have wanted you to do that.''

William looked at her with tears in his eyes.

''What do I do?''

''You get yourself a damn good lawyer.''

XXX

As Emily turned the ignition off after pulling into their driveway the air in the car was still for a moment as both exhausted Agent's remained still for a moment. Exhausted physically and emotionally. It seemed surreal to be back in the world of reality facing their home where when they had left it they had been happy. Their baby boy all wonder and light and the ease at the way they had made love under the stars. Their life together, their home. Where they returned to when wounded and tired. Their sanctuary which healed their wounds when they felt all but broken. Like now. After staring so long and hard into darkness in that farm and witnessing so much death and destruction they both definitely felt the need for a connection back to the thing that kept them going.

Emily, her hands still on the wheel for some reason, turned to her wife.

''Hey.''

JJ turned to look at Emily and accepted the other woman's hands as she moved it from the wheel to take hers.

''Hey yourself.''

Emily smirked as she saw the faintest glimmer of light behind JJ's eyes. That bright blue that she loved so much it could never be kept out too long. She moved her hand to brush some silky blonde strands out the way of JJ's face.

''What I said? About not going to visit my family? Can I take that back?''

JJ asked softly. Emily now having taken her wife's hand again gave it a gentle squeeze.

''Of course you can.''

''I just…I talked to William Hightower. I told him that his Mother wouldn't understand, because now she'd lose another child. I don't want mine to lose me too. My parents have suffered enough, and everything that happened between us can be fixed, right? I mean, Aiden and Rachel would want that.''

JJ stated as she thought about everything. She didn't expect everything to get fixed all at once but she could start being more productive toward it at least. She had tried many things over the years but the Jareau family wasn't known for its emotional talks so it was a slow and difficult process. But her line of work often still inspired her to try because of what they saw all the loss they saw.

''Yeah, they would.''

JJ smiled slightly and leant across to give Emily a soft but tender kiss.

''I really meant what I said, about not knowing what I'd do without you? You keep me going.''

''You keep me going too.''

''You me and Chubs!''

''How 'bout tonight that's all we think about? That and the stars?''

Emily suggested, wanting nothing more than to not think about the case and just solely think about her wife and son. JJ smiled and nodded.

''I think that's a damn good idea!''

They left the car to go into their welcoming house where their boy waited for them. They were looking forward to a little family time and sleep. Little did they know that sleep would only be short because a case was stirring and their boss was in trouble.


	13. Rain

The rain trickled down the glass of the window causing rivets and patterns of water that was transfixing to the eye. Mesmerising even. It was fluid and calm and almost hypnotic. The day had been sunny, generally warm and pleasant. On any other day it would have been perfect to go for a walk in the park, maybe have a late lunch some place quiet. It would have been nice to have cooked some dinner and have it on the wooden table out on the deck in the garden, maybe with a little wine or a beer. After all that had happened, Emily had been looking forward to that time. To that day with her wife and her son.

Emily had planned on doing just those things. She had thought about sleeping wrapped up with JJ, finally able to get some solid rest after everything that had happened in Canada. All she had been able to think about on the plane was getting home, as she had been sat in the relative silence of the plane. She had watched as JJ had moved seats to go and sit next to Garcia, as the quirky blonde hadn't been able to hold back a few tears that managed to escape her. JJ had moved over to her, silently pulling her close and wrapping her up to comfort her. As a team they were used to being in harms way, in the middle of the depravity they saw, though maybe not like this. But Garcia was usually at a safe distance, now yet again she had been put in the midst of blood and pain and guns. Yet again, she had been thrust into that world, JJ had stepped in front of her brandishing her weapon and being a human shield, yet again ready to use whatever force she had to to protect her friend. She couldn't protect her from the sight of someone's head being shot off by a shotgun though.

Both JJ and herself had offered Garcia to stay with them for the night, but the hacker had politely declined, needing some time and space to think. Everyone seemed to need that. At least they had each other, and at least they had Henry. That's all that mattered now; there was nothing more she could do about the situation. She had just wanted to focus on her family. And the first order of business, after saying hello to Henry and taking a shower, was to get some sleep. After that she'd had it planned out. Get some rest; take Henry out to the park and then lunch, just somewhere quiet where they could enjoy being a family and talk and laugh. Then they'd take it easy, and she'd decided that she'd cook fish. It was one of JJ's favourites, and a good meal with some wine and music out on the deck sounded perfect.

But of course, all that had been shattered when her blonde beloved had been called to a crime scene. And the day that had transpired, which left her standing here in the middle of the night watching rain steam down the windows, was entirely different from the day that had been planned in Emily's head!

XXX

''_Oh my god! Fuck off.''_

_The irritated muffled mumble came from beneath the pillow as the peace in the bedroom was disturbed by the annoyingly familiar tone of her wife's blackberry. The one she had thought about throwing out the window many a time. Despite she knew that it was important it still didn't take her right to be pissed off sometimes when it jack hammered into their personal life. The look on JJ's face when it had interrupted her feeding Henry the other day had been saddening and right now it was pissing her off considering that they had only just gone to bed. They were exhausted for crying out loud and they were supposed to be on stand down to get some rest after the ordeal in Canada. _

_The blonde reached out her arm toward the nightstand not being able to open her eyes yet so reaching blindly for the offending object her wife had just sworn at. She had just been in a nice sleep until this._

''_Agent Jareau…'' _

_Emily sighed irritably from her position underneath the pillow she was sprawled out on her front with JJ next to her who was laying on her back. Emily wasn't quite sure how she had ended up with her head under the pillow. They had crashed not long after getting in and seeing Henry all snuggled up asleep he had woken up briefly to be changed and fell happily back to sleep. Annette was in the spare room where she still was now._

''_You have got to be kidding me? Our team got back just over two hours ago…''_

_JJ cringed and sighed as she tried to push the cobwebs out of her head and ran a hand over her face and then her hair before sitting up. Blinking she tried to adjust to the light in the room and then looked down at the lump under the covers that was her wife._

''_I will, bye.''_

_JJ leant down and lifted the pillow up slightly before pressing her lips against Emily's cheek._

''_Go back to sleep, I'll try to sort this out.''_

''_I can't believe this…''_

_JJ knew Emily was angry not just at being interrupted because it wasn't fair but because she had to leave and she would worry about her being so tired. _

''_It's my job, Em. It's okay.''_

''_It's not okay. They're supposed to leave us alone. There must be someone other than you that can sort this out, whatever it is.''_

_JJ scoffed lightly and shook her head._

''_Not likely. Go back to sleep baby. I love you.''_

''_I love you too.''_

_JJ smirked lightly at Emily's sleepy voice and put the pillow back again. Then she got out of bed and hauled herself across to the bathroom to get a cold wash to wake her up and proceeded to get dressed. Her blackberry vibrated silently a couple of times to signal that she'd received some information to review. There was no way she was getting out of this but she'd know more when she got to the scene she was being asked to go to. If it was possible she was going to try and keep her team at home and in their beds but the feeling in her gut that she wasn't going to be able to. They wouldn't have woken her if it was trivial and the other teams were out. _

_Tag, they were it._

XXX

So here she was, hours after she had been desperate for sleep, not being able to. So much had transpired in mere days, it was frightening just how much. What had been lost was momentous, it was inexcusable. And that was the thing that really got to her.

Sometimes she really fucking hated her job. Sometimes she wished that they led simpler lives. That perhaps she and JJ had met as their eyes met over a crowded room, perhaps at a mutual friends party. They'd have started talking after shyly getting a drink together, and end up spending hours talking and laughing together. JJ would have been a media consultant, and she would have been a translator. They'd have busy lives of course, but not so busy as to eclipse a good personal life outside of work. They'd date, eventually get married, have Henry, and they'd be home at decent hours, untouched by the evil that went on in the world. They wouldn't get called up at random hours in the morning. They wouldn't have to see people die, see the monsters that killed them, they wouldn't have to shoot people. They wouldn't have to see their friends' lives shatter into a million shards on the floor as it was taken away from them.

It would have been so much easier.

So engrossed with her thoughts Emily didn't hear JJ roll over in bed. Despite the rain it was still warm and they had only a thin sheet over the bed. JJ rolled over with her arm reaching out to where she thought Emily was but upon finding the space empty the blonde was roused and an eye cracked open. Although her vision was blurry at first she saw enough to see that Emily wasn't in bed and after forcing her eyes to open a little more she noticed her shadowy figure by the window. JJ immediately knew from the air and Emily's stance that there was something troubling that head of hers, and most likely it would be about what happened.

Breathing in sleepily before letting it roll out JJ pushed the cover off and rolled out of bed. With her hair still mussy and as she rubbed her eyes, the blonde padded around the bed and across the expanse of the room toward her wife. Getting there, she slipped up behind her, breathing in deeply and sleepily again as she wrapped her arms around Emily from behind as she rested her cheek on the brunette's shoulder.

''How long you been standing here?''

JJ whispered with that sleepy crack in her voice. Emily had relaxed in her arms and leant back into her slightly.

''Not long.''

JJ quirked an eyebrow.

''Your side of the bed is cold Em, how long?''

''I just…I couldn't sleep.''

The brunette sighed, her eyes still focused on the raindrops.

''Talk to me Emily.''

There was silence for a few moments, but JJ was patient. She knew Emily was just thinking how to say whatever it was that was stopping her from sleep.

''I just…I _hate _him right now.''

Eventually came the hushed, raw whisper, full of the firy anger that she was feeling.

''Foyet?''

Emily shook her head slowly.

''No, Hotch.''

JJ was surprised at that answer, and she knew that Emily really meant it she could hear it in her tone of voice. It was surprising because she knew her wife respected Hotch a lot and she had been the one to find what had happened at his apartment and was with him at the hospital.

''What do you mean baby?''

Emily's hand moved up to her face, and although JJ couldn't see properly, she was pretty sure her wife was crying. She could feel her body tense again; shake even just a little bit.

''I hate him JJ. I am so, so fucking angry all I want to do is yell at him. Shake him even.''

JJ had never heard Emily talk this way even about her Father, sure she'd heard the anger and the hurt and bitterness before, but she'd never heard her talk like this. So it was concerning to say the least that she was talking this way about a friend, about a man they all respected who lead them admirably. Especially after he had been stabbed and lost everything he had.

JJ pulled back just enough as to try and turn Emily around, though the brunette resisted.

''It's okay sweetheart, turn around. C'mon.''

Eventually Emily complied, and JJ blinked slightly as Emily wrapped her up tightly, seemingly no longer bothered about hiding the fact that she was crying softly. JJ didn't understand what was going on yet, but she didn't need to. All she needed to know what that Emily needed her right now, so she hugged her back tightly, was there to be held onto.

So much had happened that maybe it was all catching up with her.

XXX

_As soon as she pulled up JJ knew that there would be no rest for her team today the police badly needed their help and it definitely couldn't wait. She had called each of her sleepy coworkers in the midst of the busy crime scene and taken the hassles from them as she told them they needed to come out. No word from their boss however which struck her as very peculiar she had already rung him a couple of times and he usually answered right away. She had promised Emily that this was urgent and the brunette trusted her judgment and Emily had rolled out of bed to change and leave her son with Annette to join her wife at the crime scene. She arrived first but not too long before Rossi and then a grouchy Morgan._

''_JJ said the police told her it was urgent.''_

_She said as she walked up to them._

''_4 hours of sleep after what we went through in Canada it had better be.''_

_The disgruntled beefcake grouched before turning toward the building that Officer's were streaming in and out of continually. JJ had only been brief as she needed to call everyone quickly but they had gathered that shots had been fired at the scene and there must have been more to it than an average shooting the blonde didn't agree to call them in for nothing._

''_Oh, you guys over here. You guys remember Detective Walker?''_

_Emily guessed she wasn't the first to arrive and an eager Reid was already in the scene with JJ reading through the case file. They shook hands with Detective Walker and exchanged brief pleasantries and it seemed JJ had made him aware that they had had limited sleep after a nasty case. _

_It turned out that JJ really did agree to call them in for a reason. They listened to the quick brief of the situation about Dr Tom Barton and his son being threatened and innocent bystanders being killed over him. The son was in grave danger but the Dr and them were in an impossible position. Innocents were going to be killed if they didn't stop this unsub before he killed again or got his hands on an innocent boy. They definitely had a situation on their hands and quickly enough everyone was starting to forget that they had only had a couple of hours sleep. Soon enough they were heading over to Dr Barton's house._

XXX

''Talk to me Emily, what's going on in that head of yours?''

Emily sniffed a little, moving her head to rest on JJ's shoulder as she tried to breathe so that she could talk.

''He shouldn't have left.''

JJ frowned.

''Your Dad?''

Emily shook her head lightly.

''Hotch. He shouldn't have left them. He abandoned them.''

JJ started to slowly understand what was on Emily's mind.

''Em…''

''Don't. Don't make excuses. My Dad was a son of a bitch and by god I was glad to see the back of him, but Hotch had a choice. He had a choice JJ and he didn't choose his family. He chose this job, this fucking life of shit without them. They love him, and he loves them, and he's made them go out there on their own, afraid. Who knows how long it could be, Jack might never remember him. What's worth that JJ?''

JJ sighed softly, closing her eyes for a second but opening them as Emily looked at her properly. She held her wife's head in her hands and kissed her softly along the face a couple of times before resting their foreheads together.

''It's not worth it, but he's trying to protect them.''

''If he wanted to do that he'd be with them right now. Instead he's playing the martyr. He thinks he needs to catch the bad guy to save them, but he doesn't. He needs to be with them to save them. And I'm so angry at him for not getting that, for not seeing what he has right in front of him. He thinks his son will understand but he won't.''

''He might.''

''He won't. His Daddy chose this over him, its an abandonment. And trust me, its not a nice feeling to carry around. Sure, Hotch's reasons are more sincere than my Dad's, but effectively its still the same and if that's something they have in common, the worst man I know and one of the best men I know…where does that leave the rest of us?''

JJ pulled back, startled.

''What?''

''Are we so addicted to this that we'd leave families behind? That we won't trust the people we work with everyday, to do their job and catch that son of a bitch?''

''He trusts us Emily, and you know he's doing what he thinks is right. He's doing it because he wants Foyet to focus on him, not Hailey and Jack. He's trusting us to work _with _him Em, to keep him strong, to keep him focused.''

''But it's not right, is it?''

Emily's voice got a lot softer, almost childlike. She looked at JJ with the same look, the feelings swirling in her expressive brown eyes that shone in the limited light from outside.

''No.''

JJ whispered, in one respect guilty for saying that when Hotch was facing the worst time of his life and trying to do the best thing, but in another, she could entirely understand where Emily was coming from. They could have done this without him, he could be safe with his family somewhere right now. They had already lost so much with the divorce, and it was so obvious they still loved one another deeply. It was this job getting in the way, and now it had stolen everything.

''I know it's the strong thing to do, to stay and find the bastard that's going after your family. But if that happened to us…if leaving and going into WPP is considered weak, then colour me weak because I'd rather be with you and Henry. I'd rather have a life, JJ.''

JJ smiled faintly, nodding as she sniffed too as she caressed the side of Emily's face.

''I'd do the same, Em. I'd choose you and Henry too. But we have to support him now okay? You know his reasons, and you know what he's feeling. He's blaming himself, he doesn't feel like he deserves to be with them. And it may be a little self indulgent, but he's still our friend. And you can hate him right now, but this is killing him and we're the only family he has left now.''

Emily nodded slowly.

''I know. It just…it scares me what we're capable of. What we're willing to give up.''

''You're not your Father Em, and we're not Hotch. Remember? We're us.''

Emily nodded, putting her hand over JJ's heart and relaxing in feeling the steady beat underneath as she remembered the times that JJ had done this, been there for her like this.

She did hate Hotch right now, and she did want to shout at him and shake him for being selfish enough to stay behind. But JJ was right, they were his family, and they had to support him. He wasn't like her Dad, he was a better man. And she'd be there just like everyone else to support him. She'd do anything to help him, because when she thought about this happening to her family, she got the flashes of the horror it must have caused.

They'd get his family back one way or another.


End file.
